As babies control their parents

The baby is not helpless. It is an active, caring about their interests being, capable enough to manage parents, armed with all the Arsenal. Is a prepared military unit, a small energetic predator that uses any mistakes of adults, it is easy zaprygivayem on the neck of the parents and exciting power over them.




  Children play emotions, copying parents. A young child need a lot of things. As the Soviet psychologist Daniel B. Elkonin, the first word of any child is the word "Give!", and no matter what sounds it. Things like eat, sleep, be warm and dry, to be on the arms of mother is a natural need of the baby, and if the parents him to give less, the baby learns to control the parents, to obtain from them what he needed from them. So begin to develop social emotions.

About the crying and screaming babies need to know the following basic things.

Crying child is not a catastrophe, but a natural language of communication with those who care for him. When the child appear certain desires or problematic situations which he cannot handle himself, he can tell or give the signal to those who will solve his issues. But if they do not respond to signal is to put pressure on them. Like, what? The influence of child on parents is limited, but possible. In the Arsenal of child — only innate emotions, but this includes a lot already. This is primarily a revitalizing complex(a child's smile, eyes, handles are drawn), surprise and interest when this is not enough – whimpering, crying, and or (demonstration of discontent and aggression or fear and disgust).

More precisely, it is rather concepts of emotions, it's more expressive of movement than an emotional experience, but the parents "read" them as emotions, and children don't mind. They still as adults read their expressive movements, they are important, so they can find the parents to manage.

Typically, the initial management parents this is enough. Children's emotions — first and foremost method of controlling parents, and yet when parents raise their baby, a baby at this time is learning to manage them.

If the parents are lazy or just don't know what the child needs for example to change a diaper, the child tells the parents what to do. If a child wants to be in the arms of my mother, he runs to mom. If the mother has not realized that he was smiling at her. Usually this is enough and a child is on the hands. If the mother did not handle the child insists, whining, cranky moan. Usually decent, sensitive mother for rent. If the mother is caught and prepared "with his bare hands will not take it" – child includes heavy artillery. Cry, crying, he's shaking... Against this rare mom can't resist.

The woman said, the 1-month old daughter was ill with bronchitis. During illness, the child realized that the mother immediately flies to the sound of cough, cough. And healthy, after an illness, if the mother did not respond to whining at night, and the girl wanted to talk, she said "checkequal", and when sleepy mom flew her cute smile and waited to see what it will play. Well, mom was very helpful: she quickly realized that the child just wanted to have fun after hours, and has ceased to respond to that sound. And all was well.

While we think that raise children, the children at this time educate us: teach us how they behave.

Children's emotions — first and foremost method of control parents.

Whether the parents fear that the baby crying? Be careful to pay is necessary because it is through crying, the child tells his parents about his needs. But the fear that the baby is crying — you don't need. Crying and screaming the baby's health not harmful but rather promotes. It's a good exercise for the lungs and vocal cords, and a loud, demanding cry of a baby suggests that he is all right. Also useful to know that wonder babies don't cry: they cry only when it makes sense, when someone responds.

In the homes of the child — quiet. There children crying no one responds, and there children — don't cry. No one. Moreover, the children cry tutorial, and it is rather bad for their development. In the first years of Soviet power there were a lot of abandoned children who were put in the child's home. They were fed, but adults they are not cared for and the babies were growing like vegetables in the garden. And turned into vegetables. After a while, when they approached the adults took them in his arms, they smiled and tried to talk to them, infants in response to this expressed only their dissatisfaction: they are quite comfortable to exist without these external interference.

Many things are afraid of adults, children are not afraid. When children fall, usually scary for parents and children begin to cry when you fall only when it's interesting fun suggested adults.

Story: "Here's the story. He would not have believed. But I was there, and this is a true story. The Soviet era still. I know the students were very clever Katya. Very quiet. When it hurt — she cried! She was able then to cry. When considered necessary. And she was about a year. Not yet able to speak. One winter to climb the stairs in the Dorm, and suddenly I see: directly on the stairs face down and silently lies wrapped from head to toe in winter clothes body. Boots, coat, hat. The familiar color and size. Katya!!! I had to think the most terrible and horrible, while jumping to her on the stairs, do not pass! Jump, flip... Absolutely calm, tranquil and patient expression. In a minute he came and mom. It turns out. she took her walk, but as she approached the stairs, he remembered that he forgot something and came back into the room, telling Kate to wait. And Kate, apparently, got too close to the stairs and fell. Fell and waited patiently. Because in her world to fall is not a disaster. Mom will come up, and they go for a walk on the street... Yes, the girl is long grown up, graduated from high school, her mental health can only envy".

The experiences of children — it's just a bad habit they got from adults. Smart and funny parents can teach their children when trouble not to cry and not to get upset and respond in an adult: the positive and the constructive.

When my kids were just learning to walk and fall, they on top of everything else I do not know yet as to their falling to react. Indeed: here's looking at dad, but the kick and the ground under his nose. There was one — was different. And here he is now looking at their parents and the look on their faces trying to comprehend that it's a disaster or an adventure? And my mother conspired together and began to accompany every fall the kids cheerful shouts of “Hurrah!” The result? Solid dehiscence “Hurrah!” and no one cried. Do check it out.

Babies do not cry in vain. Baby — the honest needs. Children under one year of age usually require the parents only what they really need. The baby honest need, it does not invent — if crying. So you parents, can not make the form requirements of the child — impatient and vehement cry or crying, but in fact the child only tells you what you really should do for him. Things like eat, sleep, be warm and dry, to be on the arms of mother is a natural need of the baby, and when baby you about it screaming or crying, he is not a terrorist, and you reminder. If the mother is attentive and knows that even a baby knows how to cry in different ways, depending on what he needs or he's worried that they child will perfectly understand each other. Another thing, if he insists that all his desires fulfilled immediately, you don't have to feel guilty if I do not do it. You may have other, more important things.

If the parents do not control the baby, the child controls the parents.

Parents can control a child's attention, change and stay ahead of his demands. If the parents hinder the child starts pick them the keys starts to control them.

Source: www.psychologos.ru/articles/view/razvitie_socialnyh_emociy_mladencazpt_ili_kak_mladency_upravlyayut_svoimi_roditelyami

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