Diary of an unemployed secretary

April 1
Raffle Kitty - said she was pregnant. Then he pulled out his long tie from the shredder machines.
To calm, I did as he likes. At this point, Ira went - his wife, said she just knew that I sleep with all of the office.
Is it with everyone? It should be counted.
Kotick fired me because Ira threatened to deprive his salary. At night, crying. I think about the meaning of life.

April 3
I went to the unemployment office. Shpaloukladchits invited to become a cleaner or rolling stock.
Three hours of standing in line to give the questionnaire, employee went to lunch and never came back.
I would look for a job online.

April 4
Great idea!
I found a lot of vacancies. Just basically get in the bath and sauna, they say, do not need a secretary, but invited to come for an interview.
I think all the same bath - not my profile.

April 6
I saw an ad in the subway: Requires Assistant (CA) to the office - salary - $ 600.
Long thought, what (CA). I decided that it was purposeful altruistka.
When called, excitement mixed up and said I was chaste climber.
It's a pity that I did not climber. They offered to glue the ads on the windows of high-rise buildings.
Entrance fee - $ 900.

April 7
I came to the first interview.
The guard was out, but I quickly found the right room. Very nice man somehow cap in a newspaper said he had an innovative method of interviewing.
Nothing innovative, somehow hastily. I did not even have time to focus. It hurts to bite his ear.
He said that I accepted, because the ability and bystroobuchaemaya.
When I came home, I saw that there is bitten ear earrings. I returned. The guard said the firm yesterday moved, and there are only a repair team, but had already gone.
Fetishists damned.

April 9
I came in for an interview.
Head of Personnel told him that I did not fall.
He said that humanity is divorced from nature, and that it is necessary to go back to the roots. Invited to a second interview in a week, he said, so as not washed.

April 16
While riding in a second interview, the passengers do not sit next to and quickly left the bus.
Homeless hello.
The firm said yesterday that the personnel was taken to a psychiatric hospital.
Back foot.
House turned off the water. Many wept, his face slightly otmylos.

April 18
Another interview.
Director - old goat. Long stroking his knee.
Then he said that he will interview the young slave, and he watched.
Very much. When finished, it turned out that the director of a heart attack died.
Since they took me 10 rubles for a wreath.

April 20
I learned that the unique magician Glazovzglyadovu need assistant.
Passed just two rounds of interviews.
A man! When caught his breath, he said that he did not fall on the sign of the zodiac.
I paid one hundred rubles for the removal of damage to the astral hole.
I feel renewed.

April 21
I did not understand. At the interview they were asked to dial all ten pages of text. Detected time.
Then some guy rewrote everything on a floppy disk, called somewhere, said that everything was ready, and left.
In the evening, I came security, all searched, especially decollete, and then told to go home.
I did not understand.
At 12 o'clock in the morning came the neighbor Bob, said pipe burn and do not know what to fix for only 50 rubles. I have broken elbow dressing.
His wife came running. She said I had lost quite a shame - foreign husbands to withdraw.
She took 50 rubles in damages.
Long disagreed Vasya take home.

April 22
Ira came. She said she loves only me. Begged to return.
At this time, Kitty came out of the bathroom and said she was mean and did not have the right to throw it like that, because he has nowhere to live and no matter what.
Then all reconciled.
Lying between sleeping and Irkoy Kotik, I cried and tried to understand why I was so bad and all good. I decided to leave the monastery.

May 25
To sell an apartment to have the monastery.
Yesterday fastest weeded beds.
Miss Kitty.
Athanasia told her sister. She consoled me as best she could. We fell asleep embracing.