50 Ways to hang from the army

1. Come to the draft board in a gray cloak and the pointed hat, with tomato juice or red marker. Going into the draft board, start with horror to talk about knights of the apocalypse, rushing through the corridors and on the walls draw pentagrams and strange symbols. If you begin to stop, tell me what it's for their own good.

2. Come with a bunch of garlic around his neck with a cross (crucifix), holy water, an aspen stake, and a silver spoon. If you start to take away, say that without it you will not go no where.
 - You will be sure to feel the throat. During this process, horrified look on the doctor and whispered, but so that the doctor heard, begin to pray;
 - When the eye doctor will begin to shine a flashlight in your eyes, hit him on the forehead with a spoon;
 - Ear-nose-throat can threaten a stake or a crucifix;
 - When you start to check the hearing (to whisper in the ear of the numbers), splash holy water on the doctor (the water should be that holy);
 - Do not, under any pretext, do not remove the garlic!

3. If you are good in the binary code, that when you are in the ear whisper numbers, translate them into binary code (such as 0010110001). You can bring a piece of paper and a pen for the account.

4. twitching limbs, is alarming. Sometimes you stop to wait a few seconds and a hellish burst out laughing.

5. Draw a Satanist (will have to fork out for accessories.)

6. Upon verification of his fingers clench and unclench sharply. When asked: "What are you then dёrgaesh hands?" - Answer in a whisper: "It's not me. It is they! »

7. Can depict bloodthirsty attack. When asked why you want to serve in the army, answer: "In the army? There are soldiers, they are given machines. They may have to shoot. I also want to gun and shoot! Give me a machine !!! I want to shoot people! Ah-ah-ah-ah-ah !!! "- while your hands can draw gun and firing it in a psychiatrist or sharply jump up and beat his hands on the table with a psychiatrist, and then on to a psychiatrist.

8. Shout "I iron man! & Quot; and begin to poke a knife or pencil (shallow in fat accumulation, but that was the blood). You can also start with a knife to cut the hand (important to do it rapidly, then it will not hurt). During this process, you can be distracted by a sinister laugh.

9. Tell the doctor: "See how I can!" And begin to gnaw their veins (but do not overdo it).

10. On examination shout: "Hit me! Hit me! A-ah, I hit myself !!! "- and with all his might to close up his jaw, for entertainment can fly off a couple of meters, or do somersaults (better beat himself than a year will go to serve).

11. Stick to the computer mouse hand (say rooted), put glasses with lens 1cm and talk to your doctor in C ++.

12. Walk and stroking a stuffed cat, and you can whisper in her ear something like: "Do not worry, they'll take us. Everything will be fine. Do not worry ».

13. Walk in the Dwarves cap and drool (descend nightcap).

14. If the military enlistment office is not far from home - come in a fur coat over his naked body.

15. Put on under the clothes black leather suit for BDSM. Having a viewing, lock the door to the office and start to undress.

17. When you are an ear-nose-throat begins to check a rumor (speak digits), red, and claim that you can not say such platitudes (better if in the office will not be a doctor). For greater effect, you can accuse him of harassment.

18. Bring a gun from the gaming machine (which shoot into the monitor).

19. Affirm that you're from Mars or asteroids chain. If the doctor will make comments, close your eyes, start to do strange movements with his hands and hum.

20. Bring a cable 10 meters in length, one end position (slide) in the area of ​​butt and the other, ask the doctor to insert into the socket, so you can recharge.

21. Bring a friend and say that this is your imaginary friend, and let him pretend like nobody sees and advises loudly aloud, for example, "Come on, kill them!". If the doctor starts to miss it or to ask about something, make a surprised look and say, "It is another!».

22. Give two friends. One should be dressed in white sheets, wearing sandals and a harp. Second in a black leather jacket, boots, and walk with a whip (ideally, try to get a halo and horns). Let them go back and whisper in your ear.
 - One has to whisper, "Go, get it right, pass all the checks, and have served the good of the homeland»;
 - First let him speak: "Kill them all! They do not need service for fools! ».

23. Come for a visit to the popcorn and Coke, sit in front of a doctor, look into his eyes and silently zhrite popcorn, pretending that you're watching a movie. Do not answer the questions. Can shouting "movie sucks" to throw popcorn at the doctor. If he grabs you, very surprised (but do not resist) and say, "Wow! What special effects! »
Option 2: Sit in a chair to look at the door, munch popcorn, sometimes blowing bubbles in the cola. When the doctor will get you to say something, shipite annoyed at him and make comments: "T-to-C! Do not bother to look! ».

24. When a doctor writes a certificate, go through the window (before that, make sure that it is a low floor or ask friends lay below the mattress).

25. Come in the form of a fan with a scarf, dudelki. Inductees into the office see me off cheers and slogans. In general, depicts an ardent fan.

26. Hire a knight armor and sword, break in to the doctor and say that they are willing to serve in the name of the king.
Option 2: Find a Space Marine suit and say they are willing to give their lives for the sake of the emperor.

28. Bring a «Death Note» and staring in the face of the doctor, ask his name.

29. Come torn gray robe, climb up on the table and start to read beyond the grave voice of psalms in an unfamiliar language.

30. Put on a prison uniform, put handcuffs and go to the office with the words "Hey, Doc, come quick, I have a couple of hours to let go».

31. On physical examination, when asked to undress tie a towel around his waist, put on sandals, sunglasses, a hat with fields, rubber circle, take a washcloth and get out before the doctors. In response to the surprised looks ask, "And why are you wearing?».

32. As long as the doctor writes something you can walk around the room and talk to the walls about the weather ...
For one, you can even fight.

33. obmazhte shoe polish and accuses doctors in the politically incorrect. Affirm that you are a Negro, and if the doctor says something about your form, accusing him of racism.

34. Glue the ears big headphones, and asks all say do not hear anything.

35. Walk and howl money. Hide pants small coins to walking they rang constantly spilled.

36. After inspection ask: "I definitely went? Well, then I'm flying ... "- slide in the ass and set fire to the fireworks.

37. Go into the room in his boots, uniform, cap, with a model of AK47 and shout: "I am ready!»

38. Quietly go to the office, take a look at the doctor, Freeze, make a surprised look, his eyes fixed on the doctor, get a cell phone call and say, "I found it" (For effect, you can lock the front door).

39. Buy a set of Cosplay Sailor Moon and bring doctors vengeance in the name of the moon.

40. Come to the system unit behind, Leggings keyboards cape of CD's, headphones, holding in each hand mouse (you can wrap yourself wires).

41. Think about Vampire: buy red lenses, false teeth. On examination constantly shipite and seek out the victim, occasionally drank a strange red liquid from a five-liter cans.

42. As long as the doctor writes a certificate - as if by accident, remove the machete and start to sharpen
(while whistling "Gop-Stop»).

43. Bring the whole family for a visit. From moms and dads, to cousins.

44. dragged a box of dynamite (can be painted red gouache cardboard out of toilet paper). Talk that always carry. Before leaving, you can leave it in the office.

45. When a doctor writes a certificate, smile, show the neighboring wall and tell me what it filmed hidden camera.

46. ​​Come in a business suit with a briefcase, sit in front of a doctor, put on the table, notebook, pen, file folder, a bottle of water and say they are ready to start the conference.

47. moaning, publish obscene noises. You can represent an attack orgasm.

48. Sit in front of a doctor, lit a cigar, put your feet on the table and say, "Well, here we met».

49. When the doctor asked to undress, convince him that there is nothing interesting, remove the dildo in front of him (the main thing that was like) and tell them wear separately.

50. Fall asleep every 10 seconds. When you begin to wake up pretend that nothing remember.


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