How to raise a son so that he does not become “red flag”

In an era where social media is littered with terms like "toxic masculinity" and "red flags," parents of boys find themselves in a difficult situation. How to raise a son so that he becomes a mature, emotionally healthy man, able to build healthy relationships? This issue is particularly relevant in today’s world, where traditional models of masculinity are being redefined.




Childhood Heroes: Who shapes the male personality?
Psychologists say that the foundations of personality are laid in early childhood, and the characters that a child admires play a key role in this process. Studies show that boys aged 4-12 are particularly susceptible to role models.

It's important to understand: Today’s children form ideas about masculinity not only through traditional sources (father, grandfather), but also through media content, video games, social networks and YouTube bloggers.


Traditionally, boys focused on superheroes, athletes, and the military. Today, IT entrepreneurs, streamers, travel bloggers and even feminist male activists have been added to this list. This broadening of the range of role models is a positive trend, but it requires parents to be more mindful of the content they consume.



Practical recommendations for choosing heroes:

• Talk to your son about his favorite characters and find out what attracts him to them.
• Show examples of men who can express emotions and care for others.
  
• Include in the “pantheon of heroes” men of different professions and interests
• Critically analyze media content with your child
• Share stories about your own childhood heroes and explain how your views have changed.

The real hero is not the one who never falls, but the one who can rise and help others rise.


Family in the view of a modern man

The concept of family for modern young men is radically different from the ideas of their fathers and grandfathers. If previous generations saw the family as an institution where the man is the breadwinner and the woman is the keeper of the hearth, today’s guys are looking for partnerships.

Interesting statistics: According to a study by the Levada Center in 2023, 73% of men aged 20-35 believe that household duties should be shared equally between partners, and 65% are willing to take parental leave.


Young men are increasingly talking about family as a team of like-minded people, where everyone develops as a person, but at the same time supports common goals. They value emotional intimacy, open communication and are willing to invest time in relationships.

What has changed in men’s understanding of family:

Paternity as an active role: Modern men want to be involved fathers from the first days of a child’s life. They attend courses for future fathers, study child psychology and are ready to take equal responsibility for upbringing.
Finance as a shared responsibility: Young men do not consider themselves the only breadwinners in the family and support the career ambitions of partners.
Emotional support: Men learn to be not only problem solvers, but also emotional support for loved ones.




Health of men after thirty: new priorities

By the age of thirty, men begin to take their health more seriously, and this applies not only to the physical condition. Modern approach to men’s health includes psychological well-being, work with emotions and prevention of professional burnout.



Key aspects of health that concern men after 30:

• Mental health: Working with a psychologist is no longer taboo, men are actively learning stress management techniques
  
• Reproductive health: Family planning involves taking care of sperm quality and the overall state of the reproductive system.
• Cardiovascular system: Prevention of heart attacks and strokes through lifestyle changes
• Work-life balance: Understanding the Importance of Rest and Hobbies for Mental Health
• Social networks: Maintaining friendships as a factor of longevity

Taking care of yourself is not selfishness, but responsibility to those who love you.


Masculinity in male society: the evolution of concepts

The concept of masculinity is undergoing significant changes. If before the “real man” was associated with strength, aggression and emotional restraint, today other qualities come to the fore.

The new masculinity includes:

• Emotional Intelligence and Ability to Empathize
• Ability to ask for help and admit your mistakes
• Ability to cooperate, not just compete
• Care for appearance and mental health
• Readiness for change and personal growth

In male communities, topics that were previously considered “non-male” are increasingly discussed: relationship psychology, parenting, art, cooking. Men form support groups, go to therapy and talk openly about their feelings.

Practical Guide: How to Avoid Red Flags

Specific education strategies:
1. Emotional education:

• Teach your son to call his emotions with words.
• Show that crying is normal for anyone
• Discuss the feelings of characters in books and movies
• Practice active listening in the family

2. Healthy boundaries:

• Explain the concept of consent from an early age
• Learn to respect the personal space of others
• Show me how to say no and accept rejection.
• Develop critical thinking

3. Social skills:

• Encourage friendship with children of different sexes
• Learn to resolve conflicts peacefully
• Develop teamwork skills
• Show the importance of helping the weaker

Stanford University Research It showed that boys who were taught to express emotions and show empathy from childhood had more stable relationships and better cope with stress as adults.


Conclusion: education of future men

Raising a son in the modern world is a balance between traditional values and new challenges. It is important to remember that the red flag is not an innate quality, but the result of wrong attitudes and injuries. The task of parents is to create an environment where the boy can develop as a full-fledged personality, capable of healthy relationships with himself and others.

The best gift we can give our sons is to show them that being a man means being human.


Every generation rethinks the concept of masculinity. Our job is to give our sons the tools to become the best version of themselves in the world that awaits them.

The article was created specifically for the Tower portal - a place where important issues of our time are discussed.


Glossary
A red flag is a warning sign in a relationship that indicates potentially toxic or unhealthy behavior.

Toxic masculinity is a set of stereotypes and expectations about male behavior that can be harmful to men and others.

Emotional intelligence is the ability to understand, use, and manage your emotions in a positive way to relieve stress, communicate effectively, overcome challenges, and resolve conflicts.

Partnership is a model of family relations based on equality, mutual respect and sharing of responsibility between partners.

Empathy is the ability to understand and share the feelings of another person, to put yourself in his place.

Mental health is a state of psychological and emotional well-being in which a person can cope with stress, work productively, and contribute to community life.