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Complexes that are raised by parents: Ecology of Child Consciousness
Architecture of the child's psyche: How complexes are formed
A study from Yale University (2023) found that 72% of adult neurotic patterns originate between the ages of 3 and 7. Neuropsychologists explain this phenomenon by the “wet clay effect” – the plasticity of the child’s brain, which records even fleeting parental reactions.
Top 3 mechanisms of transfer of complexes
- Emotional echoesUnconscious reproduction of childhood traumas of parents
- Mirror neuronsImitation of parental fears as an evolutionary mechanism
- Cognitive distortionHyperbolization of “protective” installations
Five parental phrases that cripple the psyche
Language shapes reality: what is said in a rush becomes the foundation of the personality. - Lyudmila Petranovskaya
- “Don’t Shame Me” – Formation of Chronic Shame
- "You're a girl/boy" - gender restrictions
- “We gave you everything” – emotional debt syndrome
Case: How praise becomes poison
A study by the Journal of Child Psychology found that evaluative praise ("You're the smartest") reduced motivation by 23% compared to procedural praise ("How interesting you did it!"). Neuroscientists explain this by activating the fear zone of status loss.
Antivirus program for consciousness
Step 1: Pattern recognition
Family Code Method from the Gottman Institute:
- Make a list of repeated family phrases
- Note the ones that trigger an emotional response
- Conduct an "archaeology" of their origin
Step 2: Reprogramming reactions
The Free Choice Technique by psychologist Eric Berne
- 7 seconds before reacting to a child’s behavior
- Analysis: Is it my emotion or an inherited one?
- Conscious choice of a new model of behavior
Glossary
Emotional echoes
Unconscious reproduction of traumatic patterns across generations
Procedural praise
Emphasis on effort, not innate qualities
Cognitive distortion
Systematic errors in the perception of reality
