My adult children do not like or respect me, but I only want the best for them Bashny.Net

What is love for parents ? It is a deep feeling of gratitude and affection that is formed in childhood and continues to develop throughout life. This love is expressed in respect, care, support and understanding. It can manifest itself in various forms and situations, from everyday little things to significant life actions.



No matter how banal it may sound, people in modern realities are already beginning to forget about how grateful children should be to their mother and father. Whims, quirks even in adulthood, ingratitude. This and much more becomes the norm in the attitude of children towards their parents. And over time the situation only gets worse. How to fix it and what needs to be done for this? One of our regular readers shared her vision for solving this problem with us.

What is love for parents Although I am over 55 years old, I continue to treat my elderly parents with trepidation. How could it be otherwise, it was they who raised me, taught me everything, and in general, thanks to them, I came into this world. So, I think there is nothing surprising here. I know what love for parents is.

Although we, of course, had our disagreements at one time. And that's okay. For example, I was married off when I was still a very young girl, when I couldn’t even think about getting married. But it was necessary. We then lived in a small village, I could have remained an old maid... I, of course, did not understand this and did not want to marry Igor, but we lived together for more than thirty years and raised two children. Do you think this is worthy of continuing a marriage not for love? I think so. If you endure it, you will fall in love.



But my children don’t like me at all. They don’t even respect me, what can I say. I give them my word, they give me ten. I give them advice in life, and they complain that times have already changed and I don’t understand anything. They constantly point out to me that I didn’t grow up in the city, and now I just can’t adjust. They don’t understand at all that if it weren’t for my father and me, then they themselves would still be sitting in the village and twisting the tails of the bulls.

But no, everyone has already become adults. We studied and went to work. At least I can say “thank you” for something, they taught me how to look at sites on the Internet, that’s already good. But I just think that this is not enough. And they won’t find the truth of life on this Internet. I have to tell them this. But what's the use of my stories if no one wants to listen to me?! They don't know what love for parents is.



My daughter, for example, doesn’t want to hold her head at all. She is dating a young man, but is in no hurry to get married. She lives in a rented apartment, but she could move in with him. Isn’t it in everyday life that all the most important character traits are revealed? I didn't have such an opportunity. I first put the ring on, and then I began to recognize my husband. But Ira does not understand that under stress a person will show himself much better and faster. But her mother is not a decree for her.

Kolya is generally going a little crazy. On the contrary, he moved to live with a woman whom he had known for only a couple of months. Before that, he dated someone, and she broke his heart. So he decided to start a new relationship with a woman who already has her own child. Well, aren't you a fool? I tell him that he will never become a father to her child in his life. And he will not become a husband for her, unless she suffers from him. Well, it's true! And he keeps on babbling about how I don’t understand their situation.



Therefore, I suggest that we, as parents, change the situation and direct it back to normal. When a man and woman file for divorce, the injured party is legally obligated to pay alimony. And who are the victims in the case of parents and their adult children? That's the same thing. I believe that some percentage of the salary should, by law, be used to retain the elderly. And there are several reasons for this.

Firstly, pensions are now really very small. Even tiny. I'm still working, but I have a special case. Yes, and now there are also plenty of pensioners who raised a huge number of ungrateful children, no matter how you look at them. They need help now. This is the first one.



Secondly, young people who are over 20 years old and beyond spend most of their money on the wrong things. Adults, full of strength and energy, travel abroad, buy unnecessary things and thus are not critical of tomorrow. And then, at some point, they realize that it’s too late. That they wasted their opportunities and their savings, not paying attention to what their parents who lived this life advised them.

So spending children on their parents will not only help the latter in my idea. They also discipline the children themselves. They will be taught to be more responsible, learn to save and cope with difficulties. I have heard countless times stories in which a mortgage or the birth of a child strengthened the family and made it stronger and more united. My proposal will also only make it better for both mom and dad and their child. You just need to calculate everything carefully.



Just don't try to criticize me. Especially those who are younger. You have not been in my shoes, but I have already been in yours. So I can say with full responsibility that I understand both sides perfectly and judge adequately. If you love your parents, you will not find anything in my words that might seem wrong to you. Otherwise, you simply don’t care. Draw the right conclusions for yourself