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My mother-in-law called and cried that she could not live like this anymore, and I still did not understand what she was getting at.
Personality training often teaches how to refuse a person delicately but firmly. The ability to say no is an important skill in defending personal boundaries. It’s not easy because no one likes to look bad in the eyes of others. But to experience an oppressive sense of guilt is also a pleasure for an amateur. What strategy to choose, so as not to deprive yourself and not to offend the other?
When I was 35, I got married a second time. I met my first husband when I was a student. We signed up on emotion. Lovers were very green, weak. For 20 years each, and already spouses. But life ate all the romance. At first we fought for our future, but then we gave up. I asked my husband to divorce. Why torture each other, ruin their lives?
We lived together for a year, we didn’t have kids. So after the divorce, I broke into my career and in 10 years I learned to earn decent money. I bought an apartment and a car and could afford to go on vacation several times a year.
Fate was kind to me and gave me love again. A year ago, in the company of mutual friends, I met Leonid and just lost sleep. I swear, I did not experience such healing and bright feelings for a man even in my youth.
Lena liked me too. He started paying attention to me. This time I kept my distance and did not allow myself to go into a relationship with my head. I wanted to weigh everything. But love took over.
My mother-in-law is the second mother I offered Leonid to move in, the goodness in my twosome there was enough space for three. And this third soon came out on a positive pregnancy test. Everything seemed right and logical. My lover and I signed and happily healed while waiting for the baby.
But where without a spoonful of tar? My husband has a younger brother. He lives with his mother and young wife in a private house. My mother-in-law and I became friends. Too much. Anna Viktorovna looked at my girlfriend and started visiting us almost every day. Not for nothing, but with complaints about the second daughter-in-law and the youngest son. Ilona is constantly on a diet, her son is starving. He dresses openly, does not want to work, stays at home all day. They are also making fair remarks!
I listened patiently to every story, but I didn’t take sides. A foreign family is a foreign family. But the other day, my mother-in-law came to us tonight, almost crying. She asked me to stay the night. I didn't ask. Just laid the bed, and the next morning Anna started a conversation.
My mother-in-law's embarrassing request is, "Lyudochka, I can't live with these troglodytes anymore." But you can help me, my mother-in-law began. I didn’t quite understand what she meant, but the woman said, “Honey, could you let me in your one-person room for a month or two?”
I hovered for a few moments, not knowing what to say to my mother-in-law so as not to offend her. I do have a one-bedroom apartment that was inherited from my grandfather. I made a great renovation, and now there are tenants. I am counting on this money, because after leaving on maternity leave I will earn less.
My mother-in-law noticed my confusion and hurried to smooth out the sharp corners: “Sunshine, I’m not pressuring you, but think about it.” You'd really help me out. No one appreciates me at home, and you're a good girl, so don't let the old woman go.
How to refuse a person: a difficult decision Having enlisted my consent to think, my husband’s mother left for her. I'm on needles now. What do I do? My husband says I should let my mom into my apartment. But to me, it's not fair. My oldest son, my husband, was released from the house. He came to me for everything he had prepared. I'm ready to leave the whole house for the youngest!
Besides, if she moves into my apartment, how can I ask her to move out? Get used to it, get used to it, and you won't get hurt. Now I'm thinking about what to do. Some people know how to refuse a person delicately without feeling guilty. But it's not about me.
What would you advise a heroine of history? Share your vision of the situation in the comments.
When I was 35, I got married a second time. I met my first husband when I was a student. We signed up on emotion. Lovers were very green, weak. For 20 years each, and already spouses. But life ate all the romance. At first we fought for our future, but then we gave up. I asked my husband to divorce. Why torture each other, ruin their lives?
We lived together for a year, we didn’t have kids. So after the divorce, I broke into my career and in 10 years I learned to earn decent money. I bought an apartment and a car and could afford to go on vacation several times a year.
Fate was kind to me and gave me love again. A year ago, in the company of mutual friends, I met Leonid and just lost sleep. I swear, I did not experience such healing and bright feelings for a man even in my youth.
Lena liked me too. He started paying attention to me. This time I kept my distance and did not allow myself to go into a relationship with my head. I wanted to weigh everything. But love took over.
My mother-in-law is the second mother I offered Leonid to move in, the goodness in my twosome there was enough space for three. And this third soon came out on a positive pregnancy test. Everything seemed right and logical. My lover and I signed and happily healed while waiting for the baby.
But where without a spoonful of tar? My husband has a younger brother. He lives with his mother and young wife in a private house. My mother-in-law and I became friends. Too much. Anna Viktorovna looked at my girlfriend and started visiting us almost every day. Not for nothing, but with complaints about the second daughter-in-law and the youngest son. Ilona is constantly on a diet, her son is starving. He dresses openly, does not want to work, stays at home all day. They are also making fair remarks!
I listened patiently to every story, but I didn’t take sides. A foreign family is a foreign family. But the other day, my mother-in-law came to us tonight, almost crying. She asked me to stay the night. I didn't ask. Just laid the bed, and the next morning Anna started a conversation.
My mother-in-law's embarrassing request is, "Lyudochka, I can't live with these troglodytes anymore." But you can help me, my mother-in-law began. I didn’t quite understand what she meant, but the woman said, “Honey, could you let me in your one-person room for a month or two?”
I hovered for a few moments, not knowing what to say to my mother-in-law so as not to offend her. I do have a one-bedroom apartment that was inherited from my grandfather. I made a great renovation, and now there are tenants. I am counting on this money, because after leaving on maternity leave I will earn less.
My mother-in-law noticed my confusion and hurried to smooth out the sharp corners: “Sunshine, I’m not pressuring you, but think about it.” You'd really help me out. No one appreciates me at home, and you're a good girl, so don't let the old woman go.
How to refuse a person: a difficult decision Having enlisted my consent to think, my husband’s mother left for her. I'm on needles now. What do I do? My husband says I should let my mom into my apartment. But to me, it's not fair. My oldest son, my husband, was released from the house. He came to me for everything he had prepared. I'm ready to leave the whole house for the youngest!
Besides, if she moves into my apartment, how can I ask her to move out? Get used to it, get used to it, and you won't get hurt. Now I'm thinking about what to do. Some people know how to refuse a person delicately without feeling guilty. But it's not about me.
What would you advise a heroine of history? Share your vision of the situation in the comments.
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