My husband and I agreed to live together, so my son lives with his sister, and his daughter is taken care of by his grandmother, but recently I found out that I am pregnant.

Modern couples often choose to follow the path of joint cooperation. Previously, a man could afford to support his wife and children, working in a not the highest paid job. Times were different, life was easier. Today, if you are not a businessman or a high-level IT specialist, paying checks for yourself and a few other people will be quite problematic. Male partner A necessary step for the normal development of family relations, no matter what anyone says.



For some women, this approach is not close. They are reluctant to add money to the family budget every month out of their own pocket. But what to do if in our time is far from stable prices are growing every day, and wages stubbornly stand still. And sheikhs with business sharks are also not endless - they are not enough for everyone. So we have to make some concessions. The younger girls, of course, have an opinion on this. But those in their thirties are increasingly accepting this terrible, semi-apart kind of relationship.

When I divorced my first husband, all I wanted was a return to my self-respect and five years of living in an aquarium. The fact is that Albert was a terrible owner and lived only by his own principles. He decided what I would do this morning, afternoon and evening. He chose what to wear to meet his friends or relatives. Yes, he paid all our expenses in full. I never felt like a real woman in his house. Especially after the birth of a son. If I had a daughter, I don’t know what that would mean.



After our breakup, I sent three-year-old Yascha to see my sister in Belgium. In our troubled times abroad, he was better off. In addition, the sister is not constrained in her means and loves her nephew like her own son. That's what I'm comfortable with. That's how I started dating Alex. My current second husband. A man whom I can call without a shadow of a doubt my husband, friend and truly beloved person who treats me with love and awe even now, two years after we met.

Lesha has a baby too. A daughter from her first marriage. But in his case, the situation with his ex is even worse than mine. If I could not take a step before without the permission of my “noble-believer”, then Alexei’s ex-wife gave him horns where she could and with whom she could. He even doubted for a while whether it was his child. But the resemblance is not going anywhere, everything is obvious. After the divorce, the wife rolled into the sunset, so much so that she even left her own daughter with her mother-in-law. She lives with her until now.



In general, at the moment the situation is as follows: my son lives with his sister abroad, my husband’s daughter is with my grandmother, and I learned a couple of days ago that I was pregnant. It would seem that the good news, I always wanted to have a child with Lesha, but in fact everything turned out to be very, very difficult. You see, my first husband was an abuser, but he made very good money, and I hardly thought about money. No, we didn't fly with him to Milan every week, and I didn't have much to spend on. No friends, no plans. Just baby care and some housework.

And now, when I went to work, when I had my own “wanters”, the money was not enough. My husband also works, and his salary is obviously higher than mine. In the evening, we share household chores, so I don’t go to a “second job” when I get home. And yet... It is difficult to spend your blood on the same products, although bought in the fold. It is not easy to give a part of the accumulated money to utilities, mobile communications, the Internet every month. I never thought of that before.

I love my husband, he always supports me, does not walk with friends, can listen in any situation. He really is very close to me and knows about something that no one knows except him. I don’t feel like I’m behind a stone wall. I mean, my first husband wanted three kids, and I knew he could always provide for them. Whatever it was, whatever he came up with about their upbringing, Albert was always strong in that regard.



But with Lesha I sometimes find it difficult. I wanted to go to the theater - we buy tickets from the general budget. The new dress is from there. On the one hand, I understand that this should be so, not a small one. On the other hand, unpleasant thoughts come to mind that before I had only to point my finger at what I wanted, and I would have had it the same day. What is better: to have a dress in which there is nowhere and with whom to go? Or to buy it yourself and be able to walk with your loved one, where I want and when I want?

And here's another piece of news. The mother-in-law begins to “throw” me and my husband that she lacks the money that her son gives her to support her granddaughter. The husband often goes to visit his daughter, gives gifts, and I have nothing against it. This is his child and we need to understand them. In the end, I don’t forget about my son either, we communicate, and I try to transfer some money to my sister so that she spoils him from time to time. But there's a limit.



We agreed with Lesha to live together, it was a long conversation and a mutual decision. However, my pregnancy requires other, more drastic measures. It requires money and support. It is clear that at some point I will have to leave work, and then I will stay at home with the child. Of course, I will need special care and care. We're gonna need it. But if I already feel that somewhere my husband and I have hit the wall, what happens next?

It is unpleasant to realize this, but at some points I catch myself thinking that I did not need a husband-friend. I need a husband who psychologists now put in the category of "father." It is good to be understood and listened to every word you say. I missed that very much in my marriage to Albert. But now that I can compare... It's not even about me, it's about children who shouldn't suffer from their mother's choices. Maybe this is our female share, in everything to obey a man who is smarter and more successful than us?



I’ve seen a lot of videos in which young girls make some mind-blowing demands on their future husbands without offering anything in return. I understand them, they have youth, and it needs to be sold more expensive. Yet there is some truth in their words. The husband must be able to support the family at all costs. It doesn’t matter how good he is. If you can't, don't do it. It is a pity that it is very rare to find a man who can always come to your aid, help, help financially. But it will not dictate to you what to do, how to live and everything else. Why is everything so unfairly arranged?