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Husband wants us to go to his mom's for Christmas Eve, but I remember last year too well to accept it.
Bashny.Net
God forbid having a mother-in-law like me. 8 years have passed since we became a family, and I still can not accept the fact that with this man we have different roads, which are better not to cross. This year, the husband again tried to insist on his own and celebrate Christmas with his family. What is Christmas Eve? A holiday shared with family and friends. But I remember last year and how I only had enough for the first day. We didn't come for the second.
We quarreled with my husband so much that then barely reconciled - thought to divorce. Less than a year has passed, as the memories of the very feast gradually smoothed, and my beloved again for his: “Let’s celebrate Christmas with my mother, she cooks deliciously.” I thought I'd kill him when he asked. Judge for yourself - the story is not the most terrible, but certainly not one of the pleasant.
What is Christmas Eve and why I will never meet him again with my mother-in-law I am not married for the first time and I know that my husband’s mother is always Pandora’s box. But in the first case everything was clear: the mother of my ex-husband son was an only child, and she did not want to let him go to another family. That was one of the reasons we broke up. The case is banal, but very understandable.
With my mother-in-law from a previous marriage, the situation is very different. You see, it would be easier for me if she was hysterical or angry, because I find control over such people very quickly and successfully build boundaries. But Stas’ mother is a completely different model.
Cunning, soft and feminine, she is like water: she cannot be caught and caught in anything. Like a fox, honestly. For all relatives, she is an angel of God and the best mistress, and I see her as a very hypocritical and vile person who likes to peek under her ribs while no one sees.
You know, she's the kind of person who makes compliments to offend. For example, about the fact that I am very fit to wear makeup, because without it I look tired.
I remember one morning we were driving her food. I didn't even have time to get myself in order. Maria Pavlovna looked at me and gasped: “Oh, Svetka, what a round face you must have slept for a long time?” It was presented as an innocent joke, as if it were really funny.
Even on the day we met, when Stas had already proposed to me, I asked how she felt, is happy with the decision of my son to marry? To which she replied, “Of course I am glad!” At least now he won't go to bars and clubs.” I've never seen him do that, though. Yes, we, like many socially active people, meet with friends in establishments, can celebrate some holiday, get out to a good bar. But everything is pure and noble, without excesses.
Apparently, she was very offended that her son brought the chosen one to the family without consulting in advance. And I think that's totally normal. At the time of the engagement, my husband was already 33 years old, and he made all the decisions in his life for a long time.
Unsplash So I endured long 8 years my tactless mother-in-law. Every comment is like a needle under a nail. The husband was genuinely perplexed and did not understand what the real attitude of his mother to me was: What are you saying? She loves you! Always compliments you.” Yeah, I know those compliments. But the point is probably in his psychology: a man does not understand how treacherous and circumspect a woman can be.
My patience ran out last Christmas Eve. As in previous years, we went to celebrate with the family of Stas. We could, of course, with my relatives, but there is a problem: mom and dad have long been divorced, our family is small, and even on holidays we do not gather as is customary in friendly and strong families. Stas has a huge family, only his uncle and aunt have four.
For his family, Christmas Eve is a special time because they are people of faith. They honor the traditions of the Nativity of Christ from year to year. For example, they always celebrate two days, everything according to the rules: on the first day (Svyatvecher) they cover a lean table, and already on the Christmas holiday itself – a meat table. Sit down with the first star, put a candle, all right. And I really like that they keep the knowledge of what Christmas Eve is and how to celebrate Christmas. But from year to year there is a strange thing that never gave me peace.
In all families, a holiday is like a holiday. Everyone's talking about family affairs, news, everything. And in this family only talk about what delicious pigeons mother-in-law. Just talk about pigeons, honestly and honestly: what she prepared this year, what recipe she used. And the recipe is the same from time to time: on the first evening of Christmas, she prepares lean with rice and lentils, and on the second day with meat. And God forbid you to praise the doves of your mother-in-law, they will immediately look at you obliquely!
I haven't learned as many facts about pigeons as I did at my husband's family feast. And we sit and eat, and they don't end. He grabs everything with his head, stays the next day.
The last time I knew that, I decided to put a few pieces on the plate. I don’t want my mother-in-law to court me and report to the plate, as she usually did. And she turned around and said, "Wow, Sweetie, that's a serving!" Like Stas. I wish I could eat so much. She doesn’t know how much I usually eat. And I sit there and I blush and I think, is it really necessary to look at my plate and insert your comments? And at the table where the whole family gathered for the holidays.
I stayed silent and continued to sit quietly and eat. Within 10 minutes, my mother-in-law asked me, “Svetka, why are you quiet?” Why aren't you praising my pigeons, they're not delicious? My psyche couldn't stand it. I said directly that I can not from year to year to talk about only blueberries — tired. The father-in-law, hearing this, turned white like a canvas and almost grabbed her heart.
On the second day, we did not go to visit, despite the fact that Stas loves stucco meat more than anything in the world. Maybe even bigger than me. Because all day he was telling me not to be mad at my mother, trying to calm me down and make it look like my mother was joking. That she so with white envy says about my figure, because my mother-in-law is always on diets, but does not become smaller in volume. I'm just humanly hurt. I'm sick of this attitude!
This year, my husband has taken up his old ways again and let me persuade my mother to come visit. No way. Let's go to my mom's for tea with a baked duck and cake. I can't see any more doves! I think it will be good for me and my mother-in-law. What do you think?
We quarreled with my husband so much that then barely reconciled - thought to divorce. Less than a year has passed, as the memories of the very feast gradually smoothed, and my beloved again for his: “Let’s celebrate Christmas with my mother, she cooks deliciously.” I thought I'd kill him when he asked. Judge for yourself - the story is not the most terrible, but certainly not one of the pleasant.
What is Christmas Eve and why I will never meet him again with my mother-in-law I am not married for the first time and I know that my husband’s mother is always Pandora’s box. But in the first case everything was clear: the mother of my ex-husband son was an only child, and she did not want to let him go to another family. That was one of the reasons we broke up. The case is banal, but very understandable.
With my mother-in-law from a previous marriage, the situation is very different. You see, it would be easier for me if she was hysterical or angry, because I find control over such people very quickly and successfully build boundaries. But Stas’ mother is a completely different model.
Cunning, soft and feminine, she is like water: she cannot be caught and caught in anything. Like a fox, honestly. For all relatives, she is an angel of God and the best mistress, and I see her as a very hypocritical and vile person who likes to peek under her ribs while no one sees.
You know, she's the kind of person who makes compliments to offend. For example, about the fact that I am very fit to wear makeup, because without it I look tired.
I remember one morning we were driving her food. I didn't even have time to get myself in order. Maria Pavlovna looked at me and gasped: “Oh, Svetka, what a round face you must have slept for a long time?” It was presented as an innocent joke, as if it were really funny.
Even on the day we met, when Stas had already proposed to me, I asked how she felt, is happy with the decision of my son to marry? To which she replied, “Of course I am glad!” At least now he won't go to bars and clubs.” I've never seen him do that, though. Yes, we, like many socially active people, meet with friends in establishments, can celebrate some holiday, get out to a good bar. But everything is pure and noble, without excesses.
Apparently, she was very offended that her son brought the chosen one to the family without consulting in advance. And I think that's totally normal. At the time of the engagement, my husband was already 33 years old, and he made all the decisions in his life for a long time.
Unsplash So I endured long 8 years my tactless mother-in-law. Every comment is like a needle under a nail. The husband was genuinely perplexed and did not understand what the real attitude of his mother to me was: What are you saying? She loves you! Always compliments you.” Yeah, I know those compliments. But the point is probably in his psychology: a man does not understand how treacherous and circumspect a woman can be.
My patience ran out last Christmas Eve. As in previous years, we went to celebrate with the family of Stas. We could, of course, with my relatives, but there is a problem: mom and dad have long been divorced, our family is small, and even on holidays we do not gather as is customary in friendly and strong families. Stas has a huge family, only his uncle and aunt have four.
For his family, Christmas Eve is a special time because they are people of faith. They honor the traditions of the Nativity of Christ from year to year. For example, they always celebrate two days, everything according to the rules: on the first day (Svyatvecher) they cover a lean table, and already on the Christmas holiday itself – a meat table. Sit down with the first star, put a candle, all right. And I really like that they keep the knowledge of what Christmas Eve is and how to celebrate Christmas. But from year to year there is a strange thing that never gave me peace.
In all families, a holiday is like a holiday. Everyone's talking about family affairs, news, everything. And in this family only talk about what delicious pigeons mother-in-law. Just talk about pigeons, honestly and honestly: what she prepared this year, what recipe she used. And the recipe is the same from time to time: on the first evening of Christmas, she prepares lean with rice and lentils, and on the second day with meat. And God forbid you to praise the doves of your mother-in-law, they will immediately look at you obliquely!
I haven't learned as many facts about pigeons as I did at my husband's family feast. And we sit and eat, and they don't end. He grabs everything with his head, stays the next day.
The last time I knew that, I decided to put a few pieces on the plate. I don’t want my mother-in-law to court me and report to the plate, as she usually did. And she turned around and said, "Wow, Sweetie, that's a serving!" Like Stas. I wish I could eat so much. She doesn’t know how much I usually eat. And I sit there and I blush and I think, is it really necessary to look at my plate and insert your comments? And at the table where the whole family gathered for the holidays.
I stayed silent and continued to sit quietly and eat. Within 10 minutes, my mother-in-law asked me, “Svetka, why are you quiet?” Why aren't you praising my pigeons, they're not delicious? My psyche couldn't stand it. I said directly that I can not from year to year to talk about only blueberries — tired. The father-in-law, hearing this, turned white like a canvas and almost grabbed her heart.
On the second day, we did not go to visit, despite the fact that Stas loves stucco meat more than anything in the world. Maybe even bigger than me. Because all day he was telling me not to be mad at my mother, trying to calm me down and make it look like my mother was joking. That she so with white envy says about my figure, because my mother-in-law is always on diets, but does not become smaller in volume. I'm just humanly hurt. I'm sick of this attitude!
This year, my husband has taken up his old ways again and let me persuade my mother to come visit. No way. Let's go to my mom's for tea with a baked duck and cake. I can't see any more doves! I think it will be good for me and my mother-in-law. What do you think?
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See also
The husband wants a divorce: why do ordinary men get divorced
When the Past Meets the Future, or The Story of an Intractable Mother-in-Law Who Doesn't Accept the Modern Way of Life
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Russian painter Arkhip Kuindzhi
