34
At Christmas, I rushed to my family, but I stayed late anyway, and when I got home, I didn’t find anyone there.
When you work in a different country, there is nothing better than finally leaving. home. On this bright holiday, everything should go perfectly. Home walls, surroundings - only those people you know well, love and respect. The surrounding atmosphere of something magical, familiar traditions. All that is why we love our country. Even in the most difficult of times, you are always welcome here.
Sometimes there are personal dramas. And they are usually the most painful. Family can give you strength for a long time. But it can also successfully take them away. It is important to understand and control your inner emotions. One way or another, a person can overcome a lot. The main thing is to recover in time and not to succumb to negativity.
If you think that Christmas is a completely family holiday and you can celebrate it only in a close circle of relatives, then I have for you a story from a personal example that happened to me a few years ago. I do not pretend to be a great counselor and I do not force anyone to follow my instructions. But it just so happens that people like to learn from the mistakes of others, because why on their own? So I suggest that you look at what happened to me not so long ago, but since then I have slightly revised my views on some things.
I was coming home from a small but very clean country. I happened to work there for a year and a half. Far from his wife and children. But a man's duty calls on me to provide for my family, no matter how hard it is for me. Why else would you get married? Thank God, we live in the age of digital technology, and I had the pleasure to see my closest people in good quality, however, through the screen of an overseas gadget. Which, in principle, did not bother me.
People often complain that a long separation drives a wedge in the relationship between husband and wife. The wife does not feel the warmth of her man. And the husband, accordingly, weaned from the presence of his woman. And I want to say that this is true if you are not internally ready for such tests. Anya and I were ready. At least I always thought so. I could always talk to her about anything, and she never took it as a forced conversation. Just if a person has a brain in his head, then life with him will be easier. No drama or misunderstanding.
So I sent money, the kids went to school, grew up, went about their business. That's all I need from them. Yes, Dad is on his own sometimes, but that's okay. What about the kids? They'll grow up, their son will get married, their daughter will get married, and that's it. But Anja and I will stay together for the rest of our lives. That's how it works. There were no problems while I was living and working abroad.
Before we got home, my wife and I agreed to celebrate Christmas together. I arrive 2 days before the date, we all celebrate, walk and have fun. But the day after the holiday, they leave for a few days to visit my father-in-law with her mother-in-law. That's a deal. I'm not going because Ani's parents and I are different people. We are in a very long conflict, and believe me, this is not my fault. In a nutshell, we exist in different financial classes. I'm middle class or something. And they are the elite. And a son-in-law like me just pisses them off. What can you do, right?
I was not jealous of my wife’s parents. I knew that would happen when we got married. But let's be honest. They buy all the tickets to the ski resort, all the other expenses are also theirs. I want to see my grandchildren once or twice a year. In a way, they can be understood. Especially since they do not touch me personally, and I am not even going to theoretically address them. So it's a fair deal.
And everything would be fine and there wouldn’t be this story if it weren’t for one thing. I didn't get home from work in time. First, some documents had to be settled. And there was so much confusion in the offices during the holidays that I was lucky that I didn’t stay for two days. The flight was delayed at the airport due to bad weather. It was so stupid and funny that I felt like some kind of loser hero from an old stupid comedy. But what choice did I have?
I called my wife and explained everything to her. At first she did not want to believe that such a thing could happen, but after hearing my serious tone, she began to support me, saying that nothing happens. It was embarrassing to hear Anya come up with excuses for me, but there were no other options left and I just said I loved her, talked to the kids for a while and went to bed. The next morning, the weather was fine and I was finally able to fly back to my home, albeit with a small transfer.
When I got home for Christmas with my arms full of flowers, candy and toys, I didn’t see anyone in my family. The apartment was empty, and on the table, in the aisle, there was a note saying that my whole family decided that I would not be able to return in time. So they left with their grandparents earlier, but will be back in a few days. It was also written that I was loved and kissed very much. And his wife's signature. And next to the markers, the children's signature. It was about 6 p.m., just in time for Christmas Eve.
The refrigerator was full of food. Even the booze was cake. Everything is intact, but after a few days, half the salads definitely promised to sour. I knew that for sure. But it's all about money. I was offended about something else. That my family couldn't wait for me. Yeah, I know my wife's parents arrived early as soon as they heard I was late. I know they can be very persistent. But still. Couldn't you have waited a few hours? Oh, come on. I talked to my wife on the phone and said I was home. So to speak, the question was in the air, but now everyone knew about the problem, not just me.
In order to somehow unwind and gather my thoughts, I went to the balcony, to rise. Nerves, you know. And then I saw our local backyard table. For which pensioners gather and always discuss something. I say hello to them, don't forget. But to be honest, I never cared about them. They're going to talk about the weather and something. So what? However, at that moment, the festive miracle made me look at these people in a special way.
After 5 minutes, I was waving my arms around them, telling them how great it was that we were all here today. For 20 minutes they waved their arms back at me and didn’t want to join my party. But then one agreed, a couple more people pulled up behind him, and now, most of the “yard” pensioners gathered at my house and even somehow at home, with glasses in their hands, congratulated each other on Christmas. Don't forget to eat, of course. We sang songs, told each other jokes, sometimes even hussar. Anyway, we had fun. And no negativity or anything like that.
"Gulianka" ended in three hours. Except for dirty dishes, no garbage. Everything is as clean and calm as possible. The old men broke into pairs and, holding each other under their arms, dispersed, intoxicated, along their porches. I liked it so much that I even decided to take pictures. I was glad to be home for Christmas.
When my wife and children came back, I was not offended. On the contrary, I wondered how they spent the time they saw the new. The wife admitted that she was waiting for a conflict, and he probably would. If it weren't for our neighbors, old guerrillas. And no. It hasn't become a tradition. We still celebrate Christmas with the whole family. That's what we do. But what I'm saying is, don't make it a cult. If you can't celebrate together, then come up with an alternative. Here, for example, is mine. And don't make a big deal. Unless, of course, everything is reasonable.
P. S. We continue to live together with the whole family, trying as best we can. For retirees, I am now a local star and authority. It's nice not to be a junkie. The wife is quietly jealous, but that's her problem. All good holidays and dreams come true. Good luck!
Sometimes there are personal dramas. And they are usually the most painful. Family can give you strength for a long time. But it can also successfully take them away. It is important to understand and control your inner emotions. One way or another, a person can overcome a lot. The main thing is to recover in time and not to succumb to negativity.
If you think that Christmas is a completely family holiday and you can celebrate it only in a close circle of relatives, then I have for you a story from a personal example that happened to me a few years ago. I do not pretend to be a great counselor and I do not force anyone to follow my instructions. But it just so happens that people like to learn from the mistakes of others, because why on their own? So I suggest that you look at what happened to me not so long ago, but since then I have slightly revised my views on some things.
I was coming home from a small but very clean country. I happened to work there for a year and a half. Far from his wife and children. But a man's duty calls on me to provide for my family, no matter how hard it is for me. Why else would you get married? Thank God, we live in the age of digital technology, and I had the pleasure to see my closest people in good quality, however, through the screen of an overseas gadget. Which, in principle, did not bother me.
People often complain that a long separation drives a wedge in the relationship between husband and wife. The wife does not feel the warmth of her man. And the husband, accordingly, weaned from the presence of his woman. And I want to say that this is true if you are not internally ready for such tests. Anya and I were ready. At least I always thought so. I could always talk to her about anything, and she never took it as a forced conversation. Just if a person has a brain in his head, then life with him will be easier. No drama or misunderstanding.
So I sent money, the kids went to school, grew up, went about their business. That's all I need from them. Yes, Dad is on his own sometimes, but that's okay. What about the kids? They'll grow up, their son will get married, their daughter will get married, and that's it. But Anja and I will stay together for the rest of our lives. That's how it works. There were no problems while I was living and working abroad.
Before we got home, my wife and I agreed to celebrate Christmas together. I arrive 2 days before the date, we all celebrate, walk and have fun. But the day after the holiday, they leave for a few days to visit my father-in-law with her mother-in-law. That's a deal. I'm not going because Ani's parents and I are different people. We are in a very long conflict, and believe me, this is not my fault. In a nutshell, we exist in different financial classes. I'm middle class or something. And they are the elite. And a son-in-law like me just pisses them off. What can you do, right?
I was not jealous of my wife’s parents. I knew that would happen when we got married. But let's be honest. They buy all the tickets to the ski resort, all the other expenses are also theirs. I want to see my grandchildren once or twice a year. In a way, they can be understood. Especially since they do not touch me personally, and I am not even going to theoretically address them. So it's a fair deal.
And everything would be fine and there wouldn’t be this story if it weren’t for one thing. I didn't get home from work in time. First, some documents had to be settled. And there was so much confusion in the offices during the holidays that I was lucky that I didn’t stay for two days. The flight was delayed at the airport due to bad weather. It was so stupid and funny that I felt like some kind of loser hero from an old stupid comedy. But what choice did I have?
I called my wife and explained everything to her. At first she did not want to believe that such a thing could happen, but after hearing my serious tone, she began to support me, saying that nothing happens. It was embarrassing to hear Anya come up with excuses for me, but there were no other options left and I just said I loved her, talked to the kids for a while and went to bed. The next morning, the weather was fine and I was finally able to fly back to my home, albeit with a small transfer.
When I got home for Christmas with my arms full of flowers, candy and toys, I didn’t see anyone in my family. The apartment was empty, and on the table, in the aisle, there was a note saying that my whole family decided that I would not be able to return in time. So they left with their grandparents earlier, but will be back in a few days. It was also written that I was loved and kissed very much. And his wife's signature. And next to the markers, the children's signature. It was about 6 p.m., just in time for Christmas Eve.
The refrigerator was full of food. Even the booze was cake. Everything is intact, but after a few days, half the salads definitely promised to sour. I knew that for sure. But it's all about money. I was offended about something else. That my family couldn't wait for me. Yeah, I know my wife's parents arrived early as soon as they heard I was late. I know they can be very persistent. But still. Couldn't you have waited a few hours? Oh, come on. I talked to my wife on the phone and said I was home. So to speak, the question was in the air, but now everyone knew about the problem, not just me.
In order to somehow unwind and gather my thoughts, I went to the balcony, to rise. Nerves, you know. And then I saw our local backyard table. For which pensioners gather and always discuss something. I say hello to them, don't forget. But to be honest, I never cared about them. They're going to talk about the weather and something. So what? However, at that moment, the festive miracle made me look at these people in a special way.
After 5 minutes, I was waving my arms around them, telling them how great it was that we were all here today. For 20 minutes they waved their arms back at me and didn’t want to join my party. But then one agreed, a couple more people pulled up behind him, and now, most of the “yard” pensioners gathered at my house and even somehow at home, with glasses in their hands, congratulated each other on Christmas. Don't forget to eat, of course. We sang songs, told each other jokes, sometimes even hussar. Anyway, we had fun. And no negativity or anything like that.
"Gulianka" ended in three hours. Except for dirty dishes, no garbage. Everything is as clean and calm as possible. The old men broke into pairs and, holding each other under their arms, dispersed, intoxicated, along their porches. I liked it so much that I even decided to take pictures. I was glad to be home for Christmas.
When my wife and children came back, I was not offended. On the contrary, I wondered how they spent the time they saw the new. The wife admitted that she was waiting for a conflict, and he probably would. If it weren't for our neighbors, old guerrillas. And no. It hasn't become a tradition. We still celebrate Christmas with the whole family. That's what we do. But what I'm saying is, don't make it a cult. If you can't celebrate together, then come up with an alternative. Here, for example, is mine. And don't make a big deal. Unless, of course, everything is reasonable.
P. S. We continue to live together with the whole family, trying as best we can. For retirees, I am now a local star and authority. It's nice not to be a junkie. The wife is quietly jealous, but that's her problem. All good holidays and dreams come true. Good luck!
Husband wants us to go to his mom's for Christmas Eve, but I remember last year too well to accept it.
How to celebrate the New Year in the USSR and what the Soviet hostess treated guests