Recently, my thirty-year-old son announced that he wanted to take the apartment on a mortgage, at first I was happy, but a week later I received a call. Bashny.Net

What is it? basic human needs? Based on the famous pyramid of Abraham Maslow, the following 5 positions can be distinguished. Physiological, security, social, self-esteem and spiritual needs. They form a normal person in each of us. If any of the above is missing from someone’s life for a long time, stress, dissatisfaction, and even a critical outcome can follow.



In childhood, all the needs of the child are taken care of by parents. That, I must say, is their direct responsibility. But over the years, people tend to become more and more independent. And at some point he has to deal with his own needs. The problem is that there are no specific numbers at what age this should occur. The relationship between parents and children is a personal one. And that's where the problems begin. Someone takes care of their child to his gray hair. And someone sends to “free swimming” from school. Who is right, who is to blame, everyone decides for himself.

My wife and I have managed to raise an only son, it is true. Katya loves him to the point of unconsciousness, but as a father, I wish him more independence and the ability to achieve everything on his own. Don’t worry, we started small too. I worked in a factory, a regular worker, paycheck to paycheck, you know. My wife was a regular cook in the local dining room. Young? Yeah. But what were the prospects at the time?

And now I have my own business, which brings good profit. And not just me, but all of my subordinates. My wife became a housewife, but she still takes care of herself. Although I try to make her happy and if she just wanted to lie on the couch all day, no problem, I would let her. In a difficult moment, only she supported me, she was alone with me. I will never abandon this woman or betray her.



Peels And Timoha, he's different. A beloved, spoiled child. He was lucky to be born when we were young. You should be taking care of us now. No, I'm in my thirties, and I'm still single. No stable job. Even without my own house. However, these are times... But we gave him everything he needed. Best school in town, institute. We wore shoes, bought the healthiest products, I thought, maybe go into sports. So what? Nothing.

At one family holiday, he once began to pour that he wants to grow up and take an apartment for a mortgage. So that, therefore, not to rent from someone else, but to have their own housing. I listened to it from the corner of my ear: there were many guests, and the mood is not serious. But his very desire seemed to me very correct, albeit belated. At the end of the evening, he even shook hands with his son. In my late father’s mind, that was the highest sign of respect. That's what I think now.

But a week later Timothy asked me to meet him and even then I smelled something wrong. It turned out he needed help from me. Financial assistance related to the mortgage. For complete happiness he lacked nothing - half of the required amount. But if you're in this kind of trouble, why would you be so stupid? "Well, I'm sorry, Dad. I wanted to share the good news quickly, but I will give it back later.



Honestly, I wouldn't. Let him live on his own, on his own. Who is to blame for not having a bigger son? But then I gave a slack and agreed. I admit, I didn't. And then when I saw that apartment, I gasped. It was not an apartment for life, but for parties. A tiny kitchen, but a huge bathtub and high ceilings. If you break one window, you pay the entire salary. This is the apartment. It's definitely not a family fit.

But what can I do? One way or another, real estate is real estate. Maybe it'll get more expensive over time. Better than spending money on a party or even a car. Timothy will not work as a taxi driver in his life. And gasoline is only getting more expensive every year. Anyway, okay. Helped and helped. But that's not all!



Peels The next month went smoothly. My wife and I even visited our son once. There was no mess, so I thought maybe the son was changing in the right direction. At least this purchase was a new impetus for him. But a month later, Timothy came to me again for a handout. He did not have enough money to pay for his own apartment. And then, you know, you didn’t pay, so it’s not yours anymore. And I gave him the money that time, because I thought maybe he just didn't calculate the costs, and then he'd be more careful about the waste.

But when he came back, I said no. I don't care if the money burns. I didn't care about that anymore. Tim's science. I'm not going to be poor, and he's spent what he earned anyway. Then we even had a fight. He accused me of housing being the main thing. That's what he needs and if I don't want to help him, I'm bad as a parent. Ordinary child manipulation from a healthy child. Having said that I thought about it all, I left. And even blocked Timofeyev's phone number.



But the guy apparently decided not to give up. And when I got home, I had an angry wife waiting for me. Katya just tore up and raged with anger, and I honestly confess I am afraid of her in this state. Our marriage is strong, so I don’t hear abuse from her often and I don’t like her very much. It turned out that our “boy” presented the whole situation in a typical way for him. Just turned it upside down.

He accused me of not wanting to help him with money because I didn't like his apartment. Which is actually true. But that was not the reason I refused. He also said that I just do not want to see him independent and banally spare money. And he wants to take risks, start a serious life, grow as a person. If I wanted to, I could have bought that apartment at all, but Timothy himself did not want to go down that path. Besides, he promised to return everything, every penny. Anyway, the show was something else.

Despite the protests of my wife, I still did not give money. On principle. And I was prepared for the fact that because of my decision, the apartment, whatever it was, would be lost. But, no. It has been three months since then, and my son still lives there. And now I have doubts. Does Mom help her son with housing? She has her own money. I don't know how much. But such issues should always be discussed with me. I haven't heard a word from her.



So far, I'm not asking. I'm waiting for her to confess. But if it turns out that everything is exactly as I thought, there will be a storm. No, we're not getting divorced, but in my eyes she's going to fall very low. Although I love and respect her, my attitude towards her will change. So as I write these lines, I'm sitting on needles. An adult, a successful man, is forced to feel out of place by his own son. I had no idea this would ever happen to me. Life, what an unpredictable thing you are.