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Instead of yelling at the child, say these words, works flawlessly.
Children. shout. At least at an early age. It was invented not by us, but by scientists and psychologists, having conducted a number of various studies in the field of family psychology and sociology. Yes, in everyday life, the easiest way to reason with a naughty child is to simply raise your voice. Add to that a harsh grimace and that's it. For 5-10 minutes, the average child will calm down. But in practice, the opposite is true.
Cats, remember how you occasionally watch a playful kitten, which is just bursting to pounce on your hand. Even if you yell at him or scare him a little, it is only after a moment that his pupils will dilate again and he will try to attack you again. The same thing happens with an ordinary child. Screaming at him means breaking the invisible bond between you. Wise parents do things differently.
First of all, you need to understand that the attitude of an adult to a child will never be perfect. Parents also have enough of their own problems, internal stress, unnecessary thoughts. Therefore, do not think that any of their decisions about the baby simply can not be wrong. A broken plate or spilled soup is not 100% a prank. Sometimes it just happens. What can I do?
However, for the most part, this is a trigger for the parent. Well, we're gonna have to clean up the floor again, collect the pieces. I have enough problems at work. The child does not know your emotional background. In his world there is only a home, a kindergarten, a school, and maybe a few friends. Okay. Just as you don't care what's going on in the Indian Stock Exchange, for example, he doesn't know your tired sighs.
Therefore, the reaction of children to screaming will always be sharply negative or even aggressive. Sometimes a bullied boy or girl, on the contrary, can become hysterical and cry loudly. And that, I must say, is a wake-up call. In this case, parents urgently need to have a conversation, and the child to give for consultation to a child psychologist. Discipline, of course. But the days when children were treated harshly are long gone.
If you still have to somehow influence the child to eat a bad dinner or go to bed early – aggression will not help in any way. You can't scream. Long conversations about morality and puppies will also be of little use. The fact is that children from a very young age are well aware of falsehood from anyone. Kindergarten teachers can hang out with your son in your presence as much as they want, but she won’t get better in his eyes. Because children begin to see pretense very, very early.
Instead, it is better to discard everything superfluous and talk to your child as an adult and equal. I see you're not happy with something. How can we solve this problem? It works with boys and girls alike. The thing is that for children, this approach means a new experience in communication. And just as we rejoiced at the top five in school or the first official job in the past, the child will quickly adjust. He will know that he is being listened to.
You don’t have to be serious with them. But to overdo it, trying to play psychological games like Hercule Poirot, is also not worth it. Ordinary, human treatment. That'll be enough. Surprisingly, in most cases, children wipe their snot and begin to behave as if they had long wanted to become older, but something prevented them. But what is it? Excessive softness or, on the contrary, too harsh attitude?
Unfortunately, normal parenting these days requires strength. In the sense that time = money. And for the most part, the average person lacks either. Spending time with your child strengthens the relationship. Walking in the fresh air or some common business. Hobbies or something. Of course, you will not become friends. But it's not necessary. But the child will learn to respect the elders and think twice before turning on unnecessary tantrums.
Another important point: children from an early age know what manipulation is. They can, for example, behave like angels with their mother, but treat their father in a completely different way. This has to be stopped at the root. Mom and Dad should always be on the same side no matter what happens. And then we come back again: no screaming! Usually fathers try to show dominance, and the mother - affection and softness. Try to agree to act together, without overdoing the stick. Then the child will no longer have the opportunity to see the parents from the position of “enemy is an ally”.
After all, you are one family. And do not think that if you shout at children at an early age, trying to educate them in this way, you can hope that this will not remain in their memory. That's not how it works. Everyone knows that a child’s brain is like a sponge: it absorbs information very quickly. Bad and good emotions in young children also remain for a long time. Just try to remember your early childhood, the good and the bad. You'll see that past negativity pops up very quickly in your memory. Although, it would seem, more than a dozen years have passed since then.
As a result, the following conclusions can be drawn. Aggression against children is useless. Or rather, it will only have a negative effect. Talking and spending time together is your key to success. But always keep a balance and do not become easy prey for the child in psychological terms. Because someone, and the children will not miss theirs. Parenting is hard work. But if you decide to have children, then try to treat your decision with full responsibility and dedication.
Cats, remember how you occasionally watch a playful kitten, which is just bursting to pounce on your hand. Even if you yell at him or scare him a little, it is only after a moment that his pupils will dilate again and he will try to attack you again. The same thing happens with an ordinary child. Screaming at him means breaking the invisible bond between you. Wise parents do things differently.
First of all, you need to understand that the attitude of an adult to a child will never be perfect. Parents also have enough of their own problems, internal stress, unnecessary thoughts. Therefore, do not think that any of their decisions about the baby simply can not be wrong. A broken plate or spilled soup is not 100% a prank. Sometimes it just happens. What can I do?
However, for the most part, this is a trigger for the parent. Well, we're gonna have to clean up the floor again, collect the pieces. I have enough problems at work. The child does not know your emotional background. In his world there is only a home, a kindergarten, a school, and maybe a few friends. Okay. Just as you don't care what's going on in the Indian Stock Exchange, for example, he doesn't know your tired sighs.
Therefore, the reaction of children to screaming will always be sharply negative or even aggressive. Sometimes a bullied boy or girl, on the contrary, can become hysterical and cry loudly. And that, I must say, is a wake-up call. In this case, parents urgently need to have a conversation, and the child to give for consultation to a child psychologist. Discipline, of course. But the days when children were treated harshly are long gone.
If you still have to somehow influence the child to eat a bad dinner or go to bed early – aggression will not help in any way. You can't scream. Long conversations about morality and puppies will also be of little use. The fact is that children from a very young age are well aware of falsehood from anyone. Kindergarten teachers can hang out with your son in your presence as much as they want, but she won’t get better in his eyes. Because children begin to see pretense very, very early.
Instead, it is better to discard everything superfluous and talk to your child as an adult and equal. I see you're not happy with something. How can we solve this problem? It works with boys and girls alike. The thing is that for children, this approach means a new experience in communication. And just as we rejoiced at the top five in school or the first official job in the past, the child will quickly adjust. He will know that he is being listened to.
You don’t have to be serious with them. But to overdo it, trying to play psychological games like Hercule Poirot, is also not worth it. Ordinary, human treatment. That'll be enough. Surprisingly, in most cases, children wipe their snot and begin to behave as if they had long wanted to become older, but something prevented them. But what is it? Excessive softness or, on the contrary, too harsh attitude?
Unfortunately, normal parenting these days requires strength. In the sense that time = money. And for the most part, the average person lacks either. Spending time with your child strengthens the relationship. Walking in the fresh air or some common business. Hobbies or something. Of course, you will not become friends. But it's not necessary. But the child will learn to respect the elders and think twice before turning on unnecessary tantrums.
Another important point: children from an early age know what manipulation is. They can, for example, behave like angels with their mother, but treat their father in a completely different way. This has to be stopped at the root. Mom and Dad should always be on the same side no matter what happens. And then we come back again: no screaming! Usually fathers try to show dominance, and the mother - affection and softness. Try to agree to act together, without overdoing the stick. Then the child will no longer have the opportunity to see the parents from the position of “enemy is an ally”.
After all, you are one family. And do not think that if you shout at children at an early age, trying to educate them in this way, you can hope that this will not remain in their memory. That's not how it works. Everyone knows that a child’s brain is like a sponge: it absorbs information very quickly. Bad and good emotions in young children also remain for a long time. Just try to remember your early childhood, the good and the bad. You'll see that past negativity pops up very quickly in your memory. Although, it would seem, more than a dozen years have passed since then.
As a result, the following conclusions can be drawn. Aggression against children is useless. Or rather, it will only have a negative effect. Talking and spending time together is your key to success. But always keep a balance and do not become easy prey for the child in psychological terms. Because someone, and the children will not miss theirs. Parenting is hard work. But if you decide to have children, then try to treat your decision with full responsibility and dedication.
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