My husband and I decided to send the children to my mother for a few days to rest, but the younger son called in the evening. Bashny.Net

When a loved one suddenly, for no reason, begins to treat you strangely, you, of course, want to quickly find out what, in fact, the matter. And if the reason for the quarrel is an ordinary, not serious offense, your game comes into play. bargaining. A little attention, some gift and conflict, most often settle by itself. Perfect. But what if the problem is much deeper?



The age of the relative is also critical. If a friend or acquaintance behaves in some way unpleasant, then the answer is obvious and lies on the surface: just stop communicating. But relatives, and even the elderly. What to do with them? So our reader had a similar question. However, how to act in such a situation, she has not yet figured out. And perhaps, by getting to know the problem, you will be the one who can help her with advice.

Two years ago, my husband and I made a rather impulsive decision and probably made a mistake. Now, here we go. The fact is that at that time my husband was promoted and I, succumbing to my inner intuition, offered him a mortgage. Before that, we rented our apartment. And filmed for a long time, even before the birth of our two children, the eldest of whom recently turned 15 years old. Then the hard times began, the money was not enough, so now we have to save on everything, so as not to lose the amount already deposited and our apartment.

It’s hard, friends feel sorry for us, but at the same time they calm us down and say that later, when we pay all the obligations, life will be much easier for us. On the one hand, this is correct, you need to take even difficult situations with some positive. But on the other... In general, you need to somehow get out, count the prices in the store and so on. My sister is helping me a little. Sends different fruits, meat. She moved to the village long ago and now lives as she always wanted. With the help of their labor spouse.



Peels One day I decided I should send the kids to my mom for a while. My husband and I needed a couple of days to recover our nervous system. My mother has always loved her grandchildren. Especially when they were small. We packed them backpacks of groceries, gave them some money just in case and took them across town. Before that, of course, call your mother. But something clearly went wrong that day.

The youngest son called in the evening and asked to pick them up as soon as possible. He complained that his grandmother was acting strangely and did not allow anything. I told her she and her brother were grown up, so let them sit on their phones or go to bed. And tomorrow afternoon, I'll go see what happened. The usual childish whims, I thought. About halfway through the third day, I was at my mom’s door. My husband and I are not relaxed, how can we relax if the children ask to take them?

My mother met me like nothing had happened. She said she fed the kids soup and gave them pasta for breakfast. Yeah, her TV broke, so there was nothing to entertain them, but I didn't ask for anything like that. The children were sitting on the couch looking bored, and I suddenly felt thirsty and looked into the refrigerator. Inside it were only two packs of medicine, a large pot of stinky soup and a loaf of bread. Apparently, they just forgot to throw it away.



When I asked where the food I had passed on through the children was, my mother pointed to the freezer. Meat, vegetables and even a couple of oranges she put there so as not to spoil. I put the rest on the balcony. Why? My grandkids are big and eating like horses. My mom poured them soup. And pasta for breakfast, nothing. She decided to keep the fresh food for herself. The pension is small, we need to save. I, her daughters, have no money like I used to. I spent everything on buying an apartment.

The latter was made to me as a clear claim. With that, you know, arrogant tone. At first I couldn’t tell if my mother was joking or not. Or maybe it's some kind of prank. But no, she was serious. That's how she treats our family now. It's like we've completely forgotten it because we've chosen to immerse ourselves in our problems. She has nothing to do with her other daughter. The sister can sometimes send her food, but it happens, maybe once a year. My husband and I helped my mom almost every month.



Of course, I picked up the kids, put them in a car and drove them home. Then I fed them and asked them if they were sleeping normally and if they were okay. It's not my habit to hang out with the kids, so after making sure they had pocket money, I let them go for a walk. Let them go wherever they want, and my husband and I need to talk.

When I told him what happened to my mother, I asked him what he thought we should do. My husband advised me to talk to my mother and explain to her that our financial situation concerns everything around us. Therefore, we not only stopped going to my mother, but also went to visit or to some holidays where you need to make expensive gifts. If your mom gets it right, she'll know what she was wrong about. That was his male opinion. He was betting on my ability to negotiate.



And I was thinking, as a woman, maybe my mother understood everything herself, but decided to behave like this just because of her character? I had noticed slight hints of selfishness in her behavior before, but I preferred to look at them through my fingers. And now, when age only increases negative traits, she decided to show herself without embellishment? Well, then it will be very difficult to put up with her, I think. How do you solve a problem if you don’t see exactly where you’re wrong?

I called my mom the next day and unfortunately she didn’t want to talk. I just kept saying over and over that we all don't care about her. Only if you need to throw your grandchildren on her head, nothing more. I tried to convince her, but I was not good at it. Even the husband picked up the phone for a few minutes, but soon gave up on himself.



I don't know what to do. The ability to negotiate doesn't help. But I don’t have the time and nerve to find out more about this relationship. I'll probably put my relationship with my mom on hold for now. Maybe later, when things get better, we'll keep talking. But for now, I'm ignoring it. Do you think that makes me a bad daughter or a bad mother? I don't understand. There is a situation in the family, you will not wish the enemy. And my mom got in trouble.