Husband shames me for not wanting to give mom the keys to our house, but he just doesn't know what kind of person she is

Power relations Between parents and children, unfortunately, is not so rare in our time. The older generation often learns that they owe him something and even owe him something. Some respond with irony, some become hysterical. Someone just doesn't care. People have different characters. But anyway, there's nothing good about it. If in the West, professional psychologists are engaged in such things and somehow solve the problem, then in our country, most often, it is only disguised as a new quarrel or scandal.



Peels, what can this attitude lead to? To talk through the teeth or just complete ignorance. And that's sad. After all, relatives should communicate without any silence, honestly and openly. Otherwise, what kind of family they are. Just the passport, okay?

My mother, for as long as I remember her, was always a powerful woman. Not everyone, no. Just your kids. Our father has held a good position in the past. And she had no complaints about him. As a wife, she fully corresponded to his views: the house is always clean enough, there are no complaints about the financial situation in the family, the children are washed, dressed and fed. Ideal wife of the past era, without annoying conversations and whims.

But Dad didn't know that my mom always found her outlet in me and my brother. We were her personal punching pillows. But only morally, she did not raise her hands against us. And I'm not talking about any childish grievances like you. But constant caustic comments when we were alone, or downplaying our achievements. We had all this good stuff in our heads. I was always “full” for her, while my brother Timothy was known as “dystrophic”. We've somehow grown up as normal, physically, human beings.



Peels Relationships with Mother Mom had a favorite begonia flower. She probably loved him more than anything in the world. And when he fell off the windowsill, oh, then my brother and I were in big trouble. Have you heard an angry woman hiss when communicating? I heard. I will never forget it, even in years. Then it turned out that the fault was our cat, who walked on his own, apparently, too, can not stand the home atmosphere. But my mother had no complaints about the cat. She didn't even apologize to us.

But it was a long time ago. Since then, a lot of water has leaked and thank God, a significant part of the resentment against my parent was simply forgotten. My brother grew up, got married and left the city far, far away to Africa. Now he lives there, sends pictures online a couple of times a year and feels great. In a way, I envy him. Not that I am attracted to the African continent, but in some things. Oh, let's not be sad.

My life did not stand still, I got married and quite successfully. Now I have a husband and a child, and believe me, I do not repeat my mother’s mistakes. I'm probably doing something personal. We are all human and we are not born perfect.



As for my parents, my dad, to my deep regret, has passed away. It is said that his constant use of tobacco and weak heart ruined him. And although he was already at a fairly respectable age, physically I remember him quite a strong and confident person. My mother stayed in our house, with a good pension and all the conditions for a great pastime. She started a flower garden, as well as the habit of going to the theater once a week, dressed up. Without a couple, but with a good mood and friendliness even to strangers.

But it's not that simple. Since we live in the same city and even close to each other, our meetings and her arrivals at our home are commonplace, as the saying goes, “all their own”. But if my mother can’t hurt me, an adult woman, then she has completely different plans for her grandson. The authority of her grandmother and Anton’s upbringing open up such horizons for her that she could not even dream of at her age.



One day, before serving food on the table, I lingered in the corridor and heard them talking behind a closed door. My mother asked my son about his academic performance, why he didn’t help me with the housework, and whether he brushed his teeth last night. I remember that tone very well. Sugar-poisonous. When, on the one hand, you can not present anything to a person, because he is not rude, but expresses himself as politely as possible. On the other hand, what do you care?

I kind of accidentally opened the door and called everyone to the table. But in the eyes of my child I saw fear and confusion. He didn't cry, but he was confused. While my mother came out with a smug smile and even asked if I needed anything to help. Before, I would have stood at attention, tightened my stomach and carried plates like a girl from the institute of noble maidens. But now I could afford to burrow something like, “And you’re staying with us for a long time, or is it already evening?”

But my mother has not accepted my criticism for a long time. Ever since I started living apart. She turns a blind eye. It's like she's always been such a friend to her daughter. But believe me, it's just a screen. Nothing like this has ever happened before. The only one who can confirm my words is my brother. It feels great on a different continent. Lucky you.



And now I have a new problem. A few days ago, again, at our house, my mother, inadvertently, offered to give her a copy of our keys, just in case. Maybe we should have some plans. And she's just happy to sit with her grandson, clean up, if necessary. She turned to her husband, looking right through me. Classic selfish behavior. And only I wanted to answer, they say, no, thank you, everything suits us, my husband responded.

He liked the idea very much and even wanted to propose it himself, but he did not dare to voice everything. Then, in general, floated in compliments about what a beautiful mother-in-law he had and how lucky he was with her. I didn't say anything. But in our private conversation, the husband continued to bend his line. Let a single woman feel like a family, don't I want that for my own mother? His relationship with his parents is not familiar.



In the end, I was the extreme. The son also remained silent, although, what demand from him, he is still a child. Grandma is his authority, no matter what. So it's gonna get even more fun now. And if earlier I knew at least approximately when a loving mother would break into my corner again, now I can not control even this. Great development, damn it. I’m a grown woman, when will this be over?