Confession of a woman whose husband went to war

It is believed that confession Soothing. After it becomes somehow easier, there is a feeling that instead of splashed negativity in life, peace and tranquility slowly return. Every religion in the world welcomes such revelations. Perhaps this is because understanding the problem and accepting it are the first steps to solving it.



The constant suppression of the inner voice negatively affects the psyche and well-being. Because of this, there may be apathy, apathy and even very bad thoughts. In most cases, this can be handled by a good licensed psychologist. But even when working with a psychologist without a sincere confession can not do. Therefore, some people, instead of therapy, turn to church, friends, special interest groups. Or just share the hidden in the network.

I don’t even know what this confession will bring me, but I sincerely hope that I will be able to lighten my soul at least a little. I'm a soldier's wife. I am 35 years old and have a child. Believe me, I really love my man and am very worried about him. When the full-scale invasion began, he volunteered without hesitation. He said he had to protect his country and family from the enemy.



At first I didn't want to make his decision. I obstructed as much as I could. But he's already decided. Persuasion, requests, even blackmail - all wasted. I thought I'd go crazy, I couldn't take it, I'd go after him and leave my son to my mom. I can't sleep like a flower without the sun. But the reality was very different. A week later, I realized I was finally feeling much better.

Why do I feel better without my husband in the house? How did this happen, am I really a heartless monster? After all, he loves me and even there somehow manages to call occasionally and be interested in my life with my son. The thing is, I made the wrong choice in a relationship. I let myself be silent about our problems. Which led to negative consequences. Not for my husband, but only for myself.

I'll try to clarify the nature of my husband. My husband, Andrew, is a very simple man. Before the aggression of neighbors, his life was divided into several simple parts: sleep, work, family affairs. That's it. No aspirations, hobbies, creative motives. Nothing like that. The child was always on me, but I also worked, and I was also responsible for the family comfort.



Andrey never tried to smooth the corners. I don't even know if he's that kind of person or if he raised himself that way. If he doesn’t like something, he always says it right away. The soup is oversalted or the baby is not trimmed, or the dishes are poorly washed. And such claims can be heard from him regardless of the day of the week. He once said that the cutlets failed on my own birthday!

But, in his defense, I want to say that these remarks never led to any deliberate scandal on his part. He just makes a remark, and that's it, the next second he might, for example, start telling a funny story from work. Everything inside of me is turning.



Or rather, it was at the beginning of our relationship. I was arguing, trying to prove something. But what could I do if my husband was right? And I just started to keep those emotions and not let them out.

Over time, there was irritation, some anger. In those rare moments when my husband was at work, and the child was in kindergarten or at my grandmother’s, I could even involuntarily start talking to myself. I had no such habit before. In general, I felt that this question was much more problematic than I could have imagined before. But how do we solve it?

When I was about to discuss this with my husband, the attack on our country began. You know, he doesn't care. I'm nervous. What to do, what to do?



But being at home without a husband, I realized that this trouble opened up new opportunities for me. To treat nerves, to be a little in a different atmosphere, to learn to understand yourself and the signals of your body, your psyche. I am still waiting for my husband to be alive and well. Thinking about him, worrying. I hope we can talk about my thoughts in the future.

A friend told me that he was so calm and balanced that he never kept quiet. I made a comment, let off steam and that's it, the conflict settled for him. I'm like a pressure cooker with too much pressure. So it's already at its limit: look, it's going to explode.



Somewhere inside, I quite understand that he wasn't the one who made me hide my emotions. On the contrary, I have said many times that I value openness in people. But I can't change my nature either. I still hope things get better between us. I don’t want to lose my family, and for what reason? I wanted the best, but it turned out... It turned out like it always does.