For many years I have been supporting my daughter, but she does not even try to support herself, so I decided to have a serious conversation.

Parental duty is an important thing, you can't argue with that. But when Parents have children In adulthood, there are fair questions about parenting. Why? After all, in this way heirs do not develop as independent individuals. They become completely dependent on constant cash injections.



Many of us have read that the children of millionaires can live happily all their lives at the expense of mom and dad. News reports are full of articles about majors who do not deny themselves anything and spend not their money left and right. But these are just rumors. In the vast majority of children of wealthy parents simply get the best education and have a huge number of necessary acquaintances in advance. No wealthy person can sit on his neck simply because of his character and life experience.

Perhaps it is worth saying that now I myself understand that I am the main culprit of this situation. But, God knows, I wanted the best. At 57, I’m really confused and I don’t even know what to do.

I'll start over. About 19 years ago, I went to work abroad. The time was such, no prospects, a recent divorce and a child left behind from a failed marriage. It turns out that if it is written in the family that you will be unhappy, so be it, no matter how you try to correct it.



Peels I wasn't myself for a while. There is a job, but not one that I would like to do. Laundry, cleaning, house maintenance. The pay seems normal. But it was clear from the beginning that nothing more could be found for me. After all, competition is not only in our country, without a good specialty you will not go far.

Mom and daughter are waiting at home. Well, at least my mom was working, and I could make ends meet without my fate. I'm very grateful to her for that. There were no such opportunities as now, so it was possible to call relatives only in the rarest cases, and even then for a few minutes. So I often just cried with powerlessness and sadness.



Peels things got better over time. I started living with a compatriot in a small apartment. Thus, it was possible to save on housing. Then I learned that my work could be combined. One day to work for some people, the second day for others. This gave me more money, which gave me hope for the future.

When I was already quite comfortable, I began to slowly transfer money home. My mom took out some loans, so they had to be repaid urgently. My daughter had grown up and needed new things. Here I was lucky, so I sent her cheap clothes, but she was still considered fashion.

Then it became possible to talk via the Internet. We began to communicate more often, I learned about a young man who had serious intentions. So I started sending her money. Every month through a local bank. Due to the difference in course for me it was quite a small amount. However, it grew every month.



I am happy to remember that I attended my daughter’s wedding. I managed to get home. I met my new family and brought gifts. It was a pleasure to spend some time among my friends. But in a couple of weeks we had to go back.

And then I had a grandson. This news I met abroad and for a long time could not recover from happiness. But there was some bad news, too. My son-in-law was fired from his job, so all hope remained with me. What kind of grandmother would I be if I didn't help my only grandson? And I kept sending money, and the money kept growing.



At some point, I realized that the savings I was saving for later life were actually very small. Even ridiculous. It happened after I came across the website of some domestic store, and I decided to joke for the sake of comparing prices. It turned out that they were not inferior at home to prices here abroad. In some cases, they were even more slim.

It was my first time talking to my daughter about finance. It turned out that she did not want to go to work. She called her stay at home a decree, although, in fact, she did not work a day. The husband tried to find something there and somehow provide for the three of them, but will they pay a lot at the Sabbaths?



Peels To my alarms, she replied that, first of all, it was my fault because I had left her alone. And her grandmother wouldn't let her go out with her friends, and she doesn't have any social skills. And secondly, she intends to have a second child. Because of social security and everything. It makes her more comfortable, and she doesn't care about her job, she doesn't have practice.

When I told this story to my only friend, she supported me and advised me to stop paying my daughter. She calls it a tribute to communication. And I agree with her on something. But I have a completely different voice in my head. He says he needs to continue helping his daughter and grandson. It will be very difficult without me. What's next? Who knows? Let's see if things get better.

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Peels What do you think about this, a native person is more expensive? Or give up everything and live for yourself? It's not that easy at my age, either, having only one girlfriend. To be honest, I'm completely confused.