It wasn’t until the divorce papers were signed that I realized how much I loved my husband.

As they say, you can't tell your heart. Regardless of age or social status, people continue to do things that seem illogical and even harmful. One says, "ex-husband. Another, on the contrary: “I met a man, I can’t live without him, I’m getting divorced.” And such cases are the sea.

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Is it mass insanity or signs of our humanity? It is clear that we are not robots and are free to do in life what we think is necessary. But if we look back, we see a different picture: fewer divorces, stronger marriages, more children. Is it right that current trends change us from the inside out, or is it just another misconception?

I love my ex-husband, I probably made the wrong bet in my life. I wanted one thing, I got another. Hello, my name is Alla, I am 56 years old. And while you're young, I suggest you learn not from your mistakes, but from others. It is one of these mistakes from my personal practice that I will tell you. Make your own conclusions.

Thirty years ago, I got married. First and probably last time. It was a special time, different from the present. Even though this was not advertised before, I, among my own, was known as a pretty girl. Now it is customary to say that in the past no one paid attention to this and everyone was judged only by reason. But that's not true.



Just look at old movies and actresses of the past. Everyone was beautiful, stylish, elegant. For its time, of course. Appearance has always mattered. But for some reason in every generation there are those who dispute this fact. “But in our time” – yes, there was no difference, stop talking nonsense.

So, even though there were a lot of different guys around me, I married the ugliest guy. Skinny, wearing glasses. Some moustache that made my Borya 10 years old. Not that I like him, no. But he was crazy about me for as long as I remembered him. The town we lived in was small. There's no prospect.



All the local beauties, although they seemed promising, had the same plan: to marry, have children and work to the gravestone at the factory. About career growth then it was not accepted. And these thoughts were not quite necessary. After all, everyone knew in advance who would be the next boss: nepotism, it is ineradicable.

And in Boris I saw a perspective, although it was not easy to see behind the screen of indifference and timid voice. And you know, I haven't regretted it in the future. We got back on our feet, moved to the neighboring regional center. Boris got a job there, not just as a worker, but as a security chief.



Then a son was born. I sadly noticed that with age he began to manifest his father's facial features, sunken chest, thinness. And I, as a normal mother, always wanted a hero with pink cheeks and a loud, flooding laugh. Just like in the picture. Perhaps because of this, I began to treat my husband even cooler. I never had love for him as such.

But I started noticing that Boris stopped looking so fondly into my eyes every morning. From a thin young man, he turned into a rather thin man with always tired eyes and a little nervous smile. Since I was not interested in his work, I always blamed Borin's appearance on her. He's the only one who's watching all the security!

Then he started disappearing in the evenings. I've been making scandals. Not out of jealousy, but out of disrespect. Being a housewife is also a job, so why should I recycle? After all, the father also has to sit with the child. It's been years.



When Sasha, our son was already studying at the institute, Boryu broke through for the first time. He told me he had another one. It's been a long time. And before that, there was more. For some reason now he decided to confess, apparently, because the son is already an adult, so at least his father turned out not to tell.

At that point, I found myself jealous. For the first time in my life, I thought for a second about my situation and how I depend on my husband. It was terrible, but at the same time it was new. With tears, screams and memories of the past, we agreed that we had to decide what to do next. A couple of weeks later, Boris came back to me, but with a small condition.



He wanted to, but rather asked me to be more kind to him. Be gentler, smile more often and not criticize him. It sounds like a student’s prayer to his girlfriend. Clearly, I didn't last long and he went out again. From that moment, our family began to exist on two fronts: for our son, we were inseparable. In fact, everyone lived their own life. At least the child studied in the capital.

I love my ex-husband a year ago. My son has grown up and found out. At first he tried to reconcile us, first he talked to us, bought some tickets to the theater for two. Then I realized that the parents were not made for each other and somehow separated. He lives his life and sometimes comes to us in turn.



I stayed in my old apartment and my ex moved in with a new woman. She has her own house, a car. She's well supplied. It's a very good option, for me. I understand Boris. But all this year longing.

It was only after signing all the documents and officially breaking up the relationship that I realized I loved this man. Think about it, because we have known each other since such a long time! He's the only one who knows where we used to live. Where we started. We've been together all our lives! They haven't grown old yet. Over the years, I began to realize that a calm man who can take care of his family is the ideal for any woman.



But now he's not with me and he doesn't want to make contact. I saw them in town recently. Man and woman. They go together. And you can't say that this man lived his whole life with someone else. And it becomes so sad, hard and even envious that words cannot describe it. I still don't want to look at others. Loneliness is my only friend.

Conclusions, my dear ones, do it yourself. All I know is that if I were given another chance, I would be the best wife in the world. I would really try my best. At least I want to believe that.