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My mother-in-law is completely down, and her daughters refuse to take care of her, they want to put everything on me.
Caring for the elderly is often a problem. Many find it difficult to accept such commitments. But life is so arranged that adult children must take care of aging parents. Although some people forget it. As happened to the heroine of our history. Suddenly she had to take care of her mother-in-law. She doesn’t want to, and for good reason.
Editorial "Site" She shares her story with you and tells you who is right and who is wrong.
It always seemed to me that those who take care of elderly parents, then receive an inheritance. However, my husband’s sisters were more cunning. They want to get an apartment and not take care of their mother. But let's get this straight.
My husband has two older sisters. My mother took care of them all her life. Both of them helped with the apartments, and then nursed all their children. She never had time for her son’s family. One daughter gave birth to a grandson, the other. The birth of our son went unnoticed. They first saw him about a year later. My mother-in-law immediately made it clear that she has daughters, and I am just an appendage to my son, nothing more.
Throughout our marriage, no one has helped us. We played a modest wedding. After a long time lived in a rented apartment, saved up for their own. A couple of years later I got a mortgage and my parents helped. We did it ourselves. I saw that my husband was offended that his mother was not interested in his life. However, he resigned and even stopped trying to participate in the life of the family.
My husband saw my mom from time to time, but I talked to her about once a year. We live 15 minutes away from each other. The sisters had no relationship with their brother. They didn't have time for us. The conversation was reduced to congratulations for the holidays. We have accepted this arrangement and are used to relying only on ourselves.
And recently my husband got a call from his older sister. She said her mother was in the hospital. We went straight to her place. Turns out things are very serious. Now the mother-in-law can't live on her own. It's all right. She needs constant care. My husband was very upset, it was difficult to see my mother like that.
Then there was the question of who would take care of the mother. My husband’s sisters agreed that we should do it. One recently had a grandson, she will not take care of both the child and the mother. The second one lives very far away, getting to her mother for an hour. They can’t take it because they have a small apartment. It turns out that we are the most accessible and free.
And my favorite argument is, "You're the youngest in the family, and it's the custom that the youngest takes care of older parents." It doesn’t matter that Mom put all the energy, time and money she had into it. I put each of them on their feet, brought them all the children. And now when she needs help, they just blame it on her brother.
Mom didn't write her will. I don't think he'll write anymore. The sisters promised that Mom’s apartment will go to her husband. Except they have no faith. Because my husband offered to sell this apartment, buy my mother a one-bedroom, and hire a nurse for the rest. But they refused flatly. No one seems to have given up on the idea of tidying up this apartment.
And you know, it's not even about inheritance. We have long understood that we cannot wait for help from here. If she had only a son, we would have given her mother-in-law proper care. But she has two daughters, and the pots should be worn by me, in fact, a stranger. I feel humanly sorry for my mother-in-law. The only good thing is that she won't know what kind of daughters she raised.
I tell my husband to give up everything. Let the sisters deal with the apartment and with the care of the mother. Am I right?
The editorial opinion is very sorry that it all happened. Of course, leaving the elderly is hard work. But that's something my daughters could thank for. And they only have mercantile goals and a desire to put all the duties on the brother. We do not know whether the husband of the heroine will be able to refuse the help of his mother, yet this is somehow out of conscience. But it is not fair that the daughter-in-law should take it on herself. What do you think of this situation?
Editorial "Site" She shares her story with you and tells you who is right and who is wrong.
It always seemed to me that those who take care of elderly parents, then receive an inheritance. However, my husband’s sisters were more cunning. They want to get an apartment and not take care of their mother. But let's get this straight.
My husband has two older sisters. My mother took care of them all her life. Both of them helped with the apartments, and then nursed all their children. She never had time for her son’s family. One daughter gave birth to a grandson, the other. The birth of our son went unnoticed. They first saw him about a year later. My mother-in-law immediately made it clear that she has daughters, and I am just an appendage to my son, nothing more.
Throughout our marriage, no one has helped us. We played a modest wedding. After a long time lived in a rented apartment, saved up for their own. A couple of years later I got a mortgage and my parents helped. We did it ourselves. I saw that my husband was offended that his mother was not interested in his life. However, he resigned and even stopped trying to participate in the life of the family.
My husband saw my mom from time to time, but I talked to her about once a year. We live 15 minutes away from each other. The sisters had no relationship with their brother. They didn't have time for us. The conversation was reduced to congratulations for the holidays. We have accepted this arrangement and are used to relying only on ourselves.
And recently my husband got a call from his older sister. She said her mother was in the hospital. We went straight to her place. Turns out things are very serious. Now the mother-in-law can't live on her own. It's all right. She needs constant care. My husband was very upset, it was difficult to see my mother like that.
Then there was the question of who would take care of the mother. My husband’s sisters agreed that we should do it. One recently had a grandson, she will not take care of both the child and the mother. The second one lives very far away, getting to her mother for an hour. They can’t take it because they have a small apartment. It turns out that we are the most accessible and free.
And my favorite argument is, "You're the youngest in the family, and it's the custom that the youngest takes care of older parents." It doesn’t matter that Mom put all the energy, time and money she had into it. I put each of them on their feet, brought them all the children. And now when she needs help, they just blame it on her brother.
Mom didn't write her will. I don't think he'll write anymore. The sisters promised that Mom’s apartment will go to her husband. Except they have no faith. Because my husband offered to sell this apartment, buy my mother a one-bedroom, and hire a nurse for the rest. But they refused flatly. No one seems to have given up on the idea of tidying up this apartment.
And you know, it's not even about inheritance. We have long understood that we cannot wait for help from here. If she had only a son, we would have given her mother-in-law proper care. But she has two daughters, and the pots should be worn by me, in fact, a stranger. I feel humanly sorry for my mother-in-law. The only good thing is that she won't know what kind of daughters she raised.
I tell my husband to give up everything. Let the sisters deal with the apartment and with the care of the mother. Am I right?
The editorial opinion is very sorry that it all happened. Of course, leaving the elderly is hard work. But that's something my daughters could thank for. And they only have mercantile goals and a desire to put all the duties on the brother. We do not know whether the husband of the heroine will be able to refuse the help of his mother, yet this is somehow out of conscience. But it is not fair that the daughter-in-law should take it on herself. What do you think of this situation?
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