How do women feel guilty for not spending every free second with their children?

Life for the sake of children seems completely natural to modern mothers. Now mothers try to devote every free moment to their children, and sometimes deny themselves many things for the benefit of the child. If the child has health problems since birth or he constantly cries at night, the mother will blame herself even for what she can not influence. Why is there such dedication, why can’t a mother afford to rest and entrust part of her husband’s responsibilities? When the mother cannot cope with fatigue, she has to ask for the help of her parents or husband, she considers herself a bad mother. Why is this happening?



The world is changing, we are evolving and have access to a huge flow of information. That's both good and not always great. Once upon a time, parents raised their children to the best of their ability, bought things and fed them what they could. Now parents are concerned about their children’s mental health because they know that childhood shapes personality. It is especially important for a child to know that his parents love him, support him, and do everything so that he has a successful future.



The feeling of guilt in mothers appears immediately after the birth of the child. And young mothers blame themselves for and without. The habit of comparing yourself with other mothers, comparing your children with others, cultivates an inferiority complex in mothers:

My son is 2 months old and I live with guilt all the time. He was born with health problems, is not fully treated, but to some extent can be corrected. I try to practice - massage, exercises, medicines. No milk, I'm feeding you formula. The child is sometimes capricious or something bothers him, if he is fed, changed diapers, and he still whines. I hold it in my arms, walk around the room, calm down. But if you just put him back in the crib or even just sit down with him in your arms, it starts again! Sometimes I walk around the room for an hour, trying not to voice my thoughts like, “I’m tired of staggering like this!” And then I blame myself for all this.



It seems to my mother that if a baby is born unwell, it is her fault. She could have been better prepared for the birth. She had to anticipate everything. But it doesn't happen. No one knows in advance what will happen to them in an hour. Many mothers have postpartum depression, which is very difficult to cope with alone. Some people are disgusted with the baby and at the same time blame themselves for not loving their child enough.



When a mother is busy caring for her youngest child, she feels guilty that she is not paying enough attention to her elder: My oldest daughter is 6 years old. Not so long ago, the youngest was born, and I began to think with horror that I began to love the older one less. Such thoughts frighten me, because with a small one I huddle, and on the older one, like a meger. She misses me, she lacks my attention, love and elementary affection, but everything she hears: I am busy, do not climb, do not yell, do not interfere, such stories are very many, and every mother blames herself for all her actions, every step in raising children seems imperfect. In addition, mothers do not give themselves a chance to do what they love, sports or just relax, entrusting their children to their grandmothers or husband. It seems that the responsibility for education is only on the mother. Is that true?



The desire to get distracted, relax and take care of yourself is very natural. Mother’s body changes, often mothers launch themselves because they do not want to leave the children for a minute. Of course, with the advent of children there are many new worries. Only these concerns are new not only to the husband, whom the woman does not want to burden him with a child, but also the mother often does not know how to cope. Two people were involved in the creation of the new man. So why do women think that Can a husband communicate with his child after work?



Stereotypes about women Even mothers are afraid of judgment from the outside. Here, stereotypes play a role, which we cannot get rid of thanks to our parents. The separation of duties between husband and wife was clear. Mother raised children, cooked food, brought comfort to the house. The father earned a living, often the work of men was physically difficult, because men after work in the factory or in the mine could only sip lean soup and collapse on the bed.



We cannot say that there are no such families. But in a society where women and men work equally. In a society dominated by intellectual labor, parents can share life and bring up children together, giving each other a breather. Isn't that beautiful? But no, in addition to rushing to do everything, to work, to get in shape and at the same time raise children, a woman devalues all her efforts. She believes that the right to rest should be earned, that the right to eat candy and not to share with the child is a crime, and lying on the couch when the grandmother came to sit with the child is outrageous.



To love yourself, to begin to appreciate everything you do for your family, is important for the psychological well-being and harmony in the home. If a woman is nervous, blames herself for all the troubles, very soon life will become unbearable. Maybe the kid wants to be with Dad? Maybe your husband's been asking you to go to the spa more than once, and you refuse and stay with the baby? Start communicating with your child and husband, start talking about how you feel and what is not easy for you. It's not a crime, it's life. Sometimes you need to trust your loved ones and sleep for a day, talk to a psychologist at the reception and continue to perform the exploits of your mother. Don't you feel like a hero after having the most beautiful baby in the world?