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How to Forgive Your Father After His Leave
These days. family It's going through tremendous trials. Fewer and fewer couples decide to legalize their relationship, and those who have already decided to do so are often disappointed and decide to “cut the ends”.
Inexorable statistics say that more than half of marriages end in divorce. As a result, a huge generation of children is growing up who did not have the opportunity to live in full-fledged, happy families.
It is believed that adult children perceive the separation of parents easier. However, this is not always the case. And today's edition. "Site" It will tell the story of psychologist Olga Khodaeva, who survived the divorce of her parents in 20 years, but for a long time could not come to terms with it.
DepositPhotos Relationship with Father I remember the day father left the family. I, a 20-year-old girl, opened the door of my parents' closet, saw empty shelves, and the world collapsed. It seemed that I was pierced with a metal needle: “How come he didn’t even say goodbye?” "
Just sitting on the floor by the closet and crying like a child. It felt like I was an abandoned puppy who was promised to be cherished and loved and then suddenly abandoned. It was cold, empty and hurtful, Olga shares her memories.
DepositPhotos
“I loved my father and was proud of him. He was the main man in my life, the protection I could always count on.
Once I got very sick and didn’t go to school for a long time, missed a whole quarter. The teachers refused to study with me - too much was missed. And my dad prepared me for a couple of nights, and I wrote the test papers well, successfully closed the semester.
DepositPhotos
“He got me out of trouble and protected me. Once ran after my abuser a few blocks to punish.
My father loved my mother and gave her flowers. He always said how much he loves us and how much he tries to make sure we don’t need anything. I thought that would always be the case. It seemed that it could not be otherwise. But something broke in their relationship. And my mom and I were alone...
My only wish was to give it back. I knew I couldn’t reconcile my parents. I was hoping to get back to the relationship I had with my dad. He said he would forever be my father, but in the years since, we have barely spoken.”
DepositPhotos
“I became a psychologist and realized that the dad I so adored and yearned to get back was gone. He's alive and well, but he's not the man I knew. He has another woman, a son, a new family.
I'm 40 and I'm still his daughter. Only another man can protect me, my husband. Or me. No longer so painful, sad and hurtful. Forgiveness has really brought liberation, and I don’t want to go back to my old life. She's gone.
Now I have a different, more harmonious relationship with my mother, husband, friends. The soul remained warm to that beloved image, and I want to know more about my father, his life, interests, thoughts. But it's too far.
Someone will say that the happy ending didn’t work out, we didn’t rush on each other’s necks and healed one huge family, as in the movies. I didn't do that. But I realized, How to Forgive Your Father.
As a psychologist, I understand that a loss cannot be easily borne. It must be mourned, suffered and even loved. And it doesn’t matter how old you are, because inside sits the same child who was offended, abandoned, deprived of family. And he wants to have someone strong around him to complain to and ask, "Why did this happen?"
DepositPhotos
The relationship between parents and children is not always easy. But if the emotional connection is strong, then it is not easy to break it in an instant. And the more the child is attached to mom and dad, the harder it is for him to go through a divorce.
No matter how parents want, the child can not stay away from the collapse of the family, he will be an involuntary participant in this process. But all he needs is stability in his relations with his family and confidence that his father and mother will not disappear from his life.
Inexorable statistics say that more than half of marriages end in divorce. As a result, a huge generation of children is growing up who did not have the opportunity to live in full-fledged, happy families.
It is believed that adult children perceive the separation of parents easier. However, this is not always the case. And today's edition. "Site" It will tell the story of psychologist Olga Khodaeva, who survived the divorce of her parents in 20 years, but for a long time could not come to terms with it.
DepositPhotos Relationship with Father I remember the day father left the family. I, a 20-year-old girl, opened the door of my parents' closet, saw empty shelves, and the world collapsed. It seemed that I was pierced with a metal needle: “How come he didn’t even say goodbye?” "
Just sitting on the floor by the closet and crying like a child. It felt like I was an abandoned puppy who was promised to be cherished and loved and then suddenly abandoned. It was cold, empty and hurtful, Olga shares her memories.
DepositPhotos
“I loved my father and was proud of him. He was the main man in my life, the protection I could always count on.
Once I got very sick and didn’t go to school for a long time, missed a whole quarter. The teachers refused to study with me - too much was missed. And my dad prepared me for a couple of nights, and I wrote the test papers well, successfully closed the semester.
DepositPhotos
“He got me out of trouble and protected me. Once ran after my abuser a few blocks to punish.
My father loved my mother and gave her flowers. He always said how much he loves us and how much he tries to make sure we don’t need anything. I thought that would always be the case. It seemed that it could not be otherwise. But something broke in their relationship. And my mom and I were alone...
My only wish was to give it back. I knew I couldn’t reconcile my parents. I was hoping to get back to the relationship I had with my dad. He said he would forever be my father, but in the years since, we have barely spoken.”
DepositPhotos
“I became a psychologist and realized that the dad I so adored and yearned to get back was gone. He's alive and well, but he's not the man I knew. He has another woman, a son, a new family.
I'm 40 and I'm still his daughter. Only another man can protect me, my husband. Or me. No longer so painful, sad and hurtful. Forgiveness has really brought liberation, and I don’t want to go back to my old life. She's gone.
Now I have a different, more harmonious relationship with my mother, husband, friends. The soul remained warm to that beloved image, and I want to know more about my father, his life, interests, thoughts. But it's too far.
Someone will say that the happy ending didn’t work out, we didn’t rush on each other’s necks and healed one huge family, as in the movies. I didn't do that. But I realized, How to Forgive Your Father.
As a psychologist, I understand that a loss cannot be easily borne. It must be mourned, suffered and even loved. And it doesn’t matter how old you are, because inside sits the same child who was offended, abandoned, deprived of family. And he wants to have someone strong around him to complain to and ask, "Why did this happen?"
DepositPhotos
The relationship between parents and children is not always easy. But if the emotional connection is strong, then it is not easy to break it in an instant. And the more the child is attached to mom and dad, the harder it is for him to go through a divorce.
No matter how parents want, the child can not stay away from the collapse of the family, he will be an involuntary participant in this process. But all he needs is stability in his relations with his family and confidence that his father and mother will not disappear from his life.