What difficulties young mothers with children experience in society

In our country. parentage - It's a battle. Mostly women's battle with society, where the battlefield is the school, kindergarten, clinic, neighbors, public transport ...



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Most new mothers think that their child will be quiet, calm, patient and obedient. But the reality is completely different. Editorial "Site" She came across the story of a young mother, where she describes her experience with two young children in public places.

“I leave the house: in one hand a child, in the other a wheelchair and a scooter.” I didn’t even have time to make breakfast because the kids wanted to go for a walk. On the playground, the usual haldez and mobile games. It seems to be an ordinary day and a tolerable life of a young mother. But this is only the beginning, says Marina.

“I have to drag around every day with my children, strollers, scooters, endure children’s crying and dirty shoes. It is necessary to buy food in stores, pay utility bills, walk offspring in the fresh air. You have to always take a backpack with food and drink, if the walk promised to be long.”





The husband works late, and all banks, social services - from 9 to 17 hours. I have no one to leave my children with, we can’t afford a babysitter, and relatives live far away. Here you sometimes stand in line at the bank, and the youngest son rushes around the hall from fatigue and tension, and visitors begin to snort, make remarks.

In the store, my children run around like cockroaches, interested in toys or candy. And I pray inside that they don't touch anything. After all, the goods lie on the shelves so low, children can accidentally touch or drop it. And if my son drops the merchandise or cries loudly in the bank, I will immediately be christened a "jugemother" and made a laughing stock.



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The term “mortgage” refers to women with children or pregnant women who think that they are doing humanity a great favor by giving birth to a child. Their lives revolve exclusively around children. They believe that after the birth of children, the whole world owes them. Often, such mothers do not try to calm down capricious and playful children, justifying them, saying, “Well, he is a child, he can do anything!”

At the same time, they consider sick all other women who for some reason did not have children. Psychologists explain this behavior by the fact that after childbirth, a woman is in an unprotected position and experiences aggression. This is a protective reaction of the brain in response to a severe emotional and physical state. Simply put, mothers require increased attention because they feel deprived and resentful.

“Jazhim” is a caustic and ruthless harassment of young mothers. After all, in everyday life, we are likely to encounter mothers who, with all their appearance, seem to apologize a little for the fact that they spoil the life of decent people with their baby.





DepositPhotos It seems that in this situation was our heroine. “I have never been more vulnerable to the world than when I was a mother. Every day I go out into society, I show all my imperfections because I'm with the kids. They are seen as a sign of my capacity as a mother and my fullness as a human being.

Vulnerability, pain and fear in my life touches my children. If I dare to say that I am sad and confused, I will be given advice. At best. And at worst, they will accuse me of being a bad mother and complaining in vain. Society demands of me that my children do not light up, do not shout, do not interfere and generally be invisible. At the same time, society wants me to bring up harmoniously developed personalities with my civic position.”



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I'm sure many mothers who read this story will recognize themselves. Often, the surrounding rude people, disparaging women with children, throwing phrases: “Sit at home, what came to the store with wheelchairs!” As long as you can bear, go work, freeloader! Such people are extremely annoyed by the screaming and screaming of children. They forget that the mother listens to these screams 24 hours a day without a weekend.



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Bye. baby They play, frolic and talk loudly, as long as they show curiosity about the world and ask uncomfortable questions to teachers, the mother will always be under the watchful eye of society. The heroine of this story has two options: according to the voice of the majority, demand military obedience from her children or take the side of the child and follow the rules of her life.

The first way is convenient and pleasant to society. And it does not matter that the world will seem hostile and alien to small people, but big uncles and aunts will not be upset and angry.

The other way is socialization on the principle of respect for the physical manifestations, feelings, desires of other people. You can be yourself without fear of judgment. But this means the risk of forever remaining for society as a "jugemother" with allegedly spoiled children.





Recall that in our country there are still no rooms for feeding in cafes and restaurants, children's toilets in banks, ramps in the entrances, play areas in clinics. But there are kilometer queues to the doctor, neglect of childhood feelings and the usual ethics of communication.

We betray our children for the convenience of strangers, and then wonder how young people can be such a passive gray mass. The fact that women with young children are not respected in our country is an echo of the Soviet past, where everyone was equal. In our time, every child should be able to grow up not oppressed ("Sit down, I said, and shut your mouth!") but normal.



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If our generation manages to get through eternal self-torture and infringement, then our children will be able to enjoy life, think about themselves, not be afraid of other people’s opinions, think about the consequences of their words and actions, judge each other less. Militant bigoted mothers and their hysterical haters are two polar categories of the modern view of women’s place in the world.

Society's attitudes to children And mothers are incredibly controversial. Not giving birth is bad, giving birth is also bad. When will women finally be left to criticize and respect their choices?

Are you annoyed by small children in public places? Do I need to make comments or should I still sympathize with mothers?

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