How to make a rebellion difficult

The transition from childhood to adulthood is a difficult period. The most important thing is to learn to be independent, responsible. Many people have problems even after graduation.

A 45-year-old woman asked the editor for help, telling about the pain: “My friend has a son, he is 22 years old, last year he graduated from university and does not even try to find a job.” After a year of inactivity, he tried to get a job in his specialty, but decided that it was not his, and no longer makes any attempts. It seems that he understands that he cannot sit on the neck of his parents all his life, but he also does not want to “work all day.”

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DepositPhotos The child does not want to work Here's what psychologists say

1. What to do if the child does not want to work? Backstory matters. Did he go to study at will, or did his parents impose it on him? Who chose the university: him or mom and dad? Perhaps, refusing to work, the guy unconsciously takes revenge on his parents.
   
   
   
   In this case, you need to speak frankly with the child. To say that even if he does something else, he will receive parental approval, will not lose respect in their eyes, will still meet their expectations. It's even worth apologizing.
   
   
   
   
   
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2. Parents need to look at their own behavior. Perhaps they overprotect an already adult child, prepare him food, clean up after him, thereby accustoming him to service from the outside. It’s no surprise then that he takes his own inaction as the norm.
   
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3. The parents’ imperious behavior can also interfere. Instructions “get into a good company, working in such and such a direction and in a good position” can cause protest and complexes. Getting to a good place is not easy. And when you expect only first-class vacancies, you do not want to agree to any. A young person should choose a job and start with what he can or like at the moment.
   
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   The first job does not have to be prestigious and profitable. Perhaps the money that will be paid for it, and not enough to maintain the standard of living that parents have.
   
   
   
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4. So that the child does not sit on the neck, you do not need to substitute it. Parents should stop paying endlessly for food, the Internet, replenish their mobile son, buy him new clothes. Then he just has to start providing for himself somehow.
   
   
   
   Workdays should teach the child to build their reality, take responsibility, organize themselves and adapt to a new environment.
   
   
   
   
   
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Parents can help adults, healthy, working children. It's considered normal. But we must not lose sight of the boundary between aid and full provision. In order not to be surprised that The adult child does not want to work..

Read more about parent-child relationships in our articles. Follow the links.