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How to talk to children about difficult topics
Every woman dreams of getting married in order to be happy and loved. But life is complicated. And the one who seemed a reliable block yesterday, tomorrow may become a completely stranger, moving to live with a young mistress. What is left to do, how to survive, and the most difficult – how to explain to the child that the father now has a new family?
And today's edition. "Site" He will try to answer this question and clarify it. Why do husbands leave the family? How to properly communicate this information to children.
My husband and I broke up, and a month later I found out that I was pregnant. We did not succeed in restoring the family, but my husband helped me with the child, came a couple of times a week and called his son the main person in his life, says Ekaterina, 39.
“But not so long ago an ex-husband married and a young wife gave birth to a child for him. Then he told me he didn’t need a son. He said he was holding onto the child only because he was afraid to be left without an heir. But now he has a loving wife and a wanted child. How do I explain to my son where my dad went and why he doesn’t even answer his phone? ?
The situation is sad, and worst of all, quite typical. It is a pity for Catherine herself and the child who will one day learn everything. Of course, this truth is traumatic, and therefore it is important to choose the right form, so as not to aggravate the problem.
Probably, a woman will first have to survive the final separation of her ex-husband, get rid of pain and indignation and only then convey to the child, choosing the right words and a calm tone.
“Your husband probably did not perceive and love the child as a separate person, but only as an extension of himself, the heir of blood and flesh. Having created a full-fledged family with another woman, he realized his dream and started life from scratch, suggests psychologist Inna Chirkova.
“The ex-husband simply lacked the moral strength to split into past and present. It's good that it happened now that you're young, healthy, strong and can handle the challenge. It would be much more difficult if husband leaves family for another The moment you needed help yourself.
You should not regret that your ex-husband did not have enough love for his son. But the location and respect of the child is the most valuable. Whoever loses it deserves only pity.”
“Do not worry, for there will still be worthy people in your son’s life who know how to love and cherish loved ones. In the meantime, try to mitigate the consequences of the breakup of the boy and his father.
Don’t give your child false hopes that Dad is gone and will be back soon. Such assurances will feed the baby, make you wait. It's painful. And when he finds out the truth after long waits, he will be completely broken.
It is better to tell the child that the father has a different life and that you need to do without him. At the same time, the child must understand that the father left of his own free will, making an informed choice. Do not let the child even think that the problem is in him, the expert concluded.
In this situation, it is obvious that there is no need to wait for help from the former spouse, and especially his return, so the woman will have to rely only on her own strength. And here the main thing is not to give up, believe in yourself and continue to live a happy life. Then the baby will be fine.
And today's edition. "Site" He will try to answer this question and clarify it. Why do husbands leave the family? How to properly communicate this information to children.
My husband and I broke up, and a month later I found out that I was pregnant. We did not succeed in restoring the family, but my husband helped me with the child, came a couple of times a week and called his son the main person in his life, says Ekaterina, 39.
“But not so long ago an ex-husband married and a young wife gave birth to a child for him. Then he told me he didn’t need a son. He said he was holding onto the child only because he was afraid to be left without an heir. But now he has a loving wife and a wanted child. How do I explain to my son where my dad went and why he doesn’t even answer his phone? ?
The situation is sad, and worst of all, quite typical. It is a pity for Catherine herself and the child who will one day learn everything. Of course, this truth is traumatic, and therefore it is important to choose the right form, so as not to aggravate the problem.
Probably, a woman will first have to survive the final separation of her ex-husband, get rid of pain and indignation and only then convey to the child, choosing the right words and a calm tone.
“Your husband probably did not perceive and love the child as a separate person, but only as an extension of himself, the heir of blood and flesh. Having created a full-fledged family with another woman, he realized his dream and started life from scratch, suggests psychologist Inna Chirkova.
“The ex-husband simply lacked the moral strength to split into past and present. It's good that it happened now that you're young, healthy, strong and can handle the challenge. It would be much more difficult if husband leaves family for another The moment you needed help yourself.
You should not regret that your ex-husband did not have enough love for his son. But the location and respect of the child is the most valuable. Whoever loses it deserves only pity.”
“Do not worry, for there will still be worthy people in your son’s life who know how to love and cherish loved ones. In the meantime, try to mitigate the consequences of the breakup of the boy and his father.
Don’t give your child false hopes that Dad is gone and will be back soon. Such assurances will feed the baby, make you wait. It's painful. And when he finds out the truth after long waits, he will be completely broken.
It is better to tell the child that the father has a different life and that you need to do without him. At the same time, the child must understand that the father left of his own free will, making an informed choice. Do not let the child even think that the problem is in him, the expert concluded.
In this situation, it is obvious that there is no need to wait for help from the former spouse, and especially his return, so the woman will have to rely only on her own strength. And here the main thing is not to give up, believe in yourself and continue to live a happy life. Then the baby will be fine.
