Why do they say that in a small, but not in offense?

In a family where all people are related, you often have to make compromises to support each other and create a loving atmosphere. It's normal. But personalization Sometimes it becomes unbearable. Very often for this reason, children are forced at an early age to move from their home to rented housing. Just to keep a good relationship with your parents.



But it's not that simple. Unfortunately, not all young people cope with adult life. Some people need advice and maybe financial help. In this case, they go after all this to their parents, because no one else will help them. How do you react to that? Good question.

Violation of personal boundaries Hello. My name is Maria and I am in a very difficult situation. My only son decided to return to his home.

My husband and I have been living together for 7 years. Both are retired, but they have enough money. My husband Vyacheslav is still a strong man and finds the strength to go to various types of part-time work, and I try to manage the housekeeping, manage the money that we have on hand, and sometimes go to work as a nurse.



In general, our life is rather monotonous, but we are already used to it. In the big room there is a sofa of the husband, where he used to rest after work. The fact is that his hobby is to sit on the Internet, search for interesting news and articles. He does this late at night, and then goes to bed and snores until the morning.

I like to wake up early and go to bed early. I like theater and cinema. I can wake up at 6 a.m. and watch my favorite Soviet comedy. We are as different as the lark and the owl. But at the same time, we have no disagreements on this issue. I appreciate his personal space and he is mine. This is probably called happiness at home.



And recently we learned not very good news. A month ago, my son called us and, in between, he said that he was not coping with finances because of the pandemic. Said he might even move in for a while. It is unlikely, but such a possibility exists. We had hoped until the last day that this was just an isolated case of baseless panic. But yesterday he came with the baby things and left them with us. He promised to come back in a week.

Our only son is married and has two children, our grandchildren. As you can see, the entire family of four will soon move into a two-bedroom apartment. And the apartment they rented before that, will be rented by their son until their financial affairs go uphill. That is, until they pay off their large loan or until they get tired of it themselves.

We simply cannot change something. My son owns the third part of our apartment, he is registered in it. The law is partly on his side. Besides, we love him and, you know, we can't put our blood out on the street. If he was alone, it would be much easier. But not his family!



To begin with, his wife is lazy. She gave birth to grandchildren, but her positive traits end there. This woman is completely untrained to work. And she can't clean the house at all. Washing, ironing, washing dishes - all the same. That is why we stopped visiting them, because we could not bear the place in which our son and grandchildren live. Scrambled eggs and candies are not considered food every day.

Sadly, our grandchildren all went into character. Or she just didn’t give them enough attention. Loud, rude and naughty. That's how I would describe them, if I'm honest. They have no respect for their elders. They eat all sorts of crap from the delivery service, and they can go to bed long before midnight. Not surprisingly, at such an early age, they have poor grades and obvious excess weight.

This makes my husband and I very sad. After all, until the end of our quiet life is only a week. Seven days. And then all this capito's gonna come and we're gonna have to get along. Like I said, my husband and I are not comfortable in the same room. And to share with someone a kitchen and a tiny bathroom is completely too much.



I was also happy to myself: given how much the daughter-in-law likes to do things around the house, our washing machine is unlikely to turn on more often than usual. But it's just a bitter irony. Protection of the brain from reality, because everyone understands that the quiet life comes to an end. And what to do, because we did not make any financial reserves. To live without debt and credit in our situation is already a success.

So about helping my son or renting a small apartment for us, there can be no talk. The husband has already agreed that he will go as a watchman to some object on the night shift. It will make life a little easier for me and him, but you know, it's not a panacea. We just have to wait.



I hope you guys have a different life. Children should help their parents when they are old and decrepit. Not the other way around. And most importantly, if my son’s family were a little more hardworking, a little more restrained, I wouldn’t be so worried. On the other hand, they would have such a family, you see, and moving from the apartment would not be necessary.

Comfort and comfort, especially at a respectable age, should be present in every person. It’s very frustrating when things are a little different. We hope the situation will be resolved as soon as possible.