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How to protect personal boundaries and maintain a good relationship with a friend
How to reconcile with a friend who became the instigator of the conflict? And in what cases should you resume friendly relations after a quarrel?
It is on these two questions that the editorial board "Site" He'll answer today.
We will share the story of one of our readers and try to find a way to reach an understanding with an offended friend.
With Tanya we met in the first year of university, and almost immediately became very close. We can even be called best friends. And in all 8 years of our communication, we have never quarreled so much before, says Irina.
“After graduation, we rarely saw each other. Nevertheless, we almost daily cheated and exchanged news. At one point, all of our friendship collapsed because of a seemingly trivial situation.
It all started with the fact that once Tatiana offered to remember the old days and gather for a small bachelorette party. In addition to me, three other good friends were invited.
Since the meeting place was Tanin’s house, she also organized the party. Tanya assured us that we should not waste time on long discussions and calculations. Let’s have fun and think about the money later. That's what happened.
At the end of our bachelorette party, we together calculated all the expenses, paid off and the satisfied went home. But two weeks later, our lovely organizer told us that she had recalculated herself and found that she had spent a lot more money than any of us.
The other girls paid their supposed debt, but I refused. I explained my position by the fact that each of us spent the same amount of money that night.
Since then, my friend was offended and stopped communicating with me.
It’s been over a month and a half since I haven’t heard back from her. I don’t even know if I did the right thing and whether it makes sense to continue trying to reconcile.
Editorial Board: Everyone knows that friendship They're totally incompatible. To avoid such conflicts, it is necessary to draw up a general budget in advance. First, it will help ensure that everyone contributes an equal share of finances to the organization of the holiday. And secondly, joint preliminary planning will also save each participant from unnecessary costs.
Once you find yourself in such a situation, you should first decide what concessions you are willing to make for the sake of preserving friendship. And immediately after that, start acting.
In order to defend personal boundaries and not to offend a friend, you can offer her to divide the amount in half, since an error in the calculations was not detected immediately and partly this and her responsibility.
However, it is necessary to take into account the position of the second party to the conflict. If a person deliberately refuses to seek compromise and rejects all attempts to establish contact, one should not forcefully try to resume communication.
Perhaps at some point your friend felt that your communication was exhausted. In this case, it remains only to accept her decision and move on.
It is on these two questions that the editorial board "Site" He'll answer today.
We will share the story of one of our readers and try to find a way to reach an understanding with an offended friend.
With Tanya we met in the first year of university, and almost immediately became very close. We can even be called best friends. And in all 8 years of our communication, we have never quarreled so much before, says Irina.
“After graduation, we rarely saw each other. Nevertheless, we almost daily cheated and exchanged news. At one point, all of our friendship collapsed because of a seemingly trivial situation.
It all started with the fact that once Tatiana offered to remember the old days and gather for a small bachelorette party. In addition to me, three other good friends were invited.
Since the meeting place was Tanin’s house, she also organized the party. Tanya assured us that we should not waste time on long discussions and calculations. Let’s have fun and think about the money later. That's what happened.
At the end of our bachelorette party, we together calculated all the expenses, paid off and the satisfied went home. But two weeks later, our lovely organizer told us that she had recalculated herself and found that she had spent a lot more money than any of us.
The other girls paid their supposed debt, but I refused. I explained my position by the fact that each of us spent the same amount of money that night.
Since then, my friend was offended and stopped communicating with me.
It’s been over a month and a half since I haven’t heard back from her. I don’t even know if I did the right thing and whether it makes sense to continue trying to reconcile.
Editorial Board: Everyone knows that friendship They're totally incompatible. To avoid such conflicts, it is necessary to draw up a general budget in advance. First, it will help ensure that everyone contributes an equal share of finances to the organization of the holiday. And secondly, joint preliminary planning will also save each participant from unnecessary costs.
Once you find yourself in such a situation, you should first decide what concessions you are willing to make for the sake of preserving friendship. And immediately after that, start acting.
In order to defend personal boundaries and not to offend a friend, you can offer her to divide the amount in half, since an error in the calculations was not detected immediately and partly this and her responsibility.
However, it is necessary to take into account the position of the second party to the conflict. If a person deliberately refuses to seek compromise and rejects all attempts to establish contact, one should not forcefully try to resume communication.
Perhaps at some point your friend felt that your communication was exhausted. In this case, it remains only to accept her decision and move on.
