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In what tone should you respond to harsh statements
We were inspired to write this article by Anna Kiryanova, a very wise woman with her view of life and the people around her. So, sharpness What you need to know, how to live with it and what to do if you are trying to get out of balance.
Which scenario will be preferable: agreement in everything with a harsh person or, conversely, active resistance and unwillingness to succumb to provocation. Let's try to figure it out together.
Let’s consider a small but interesting story, a fairy tale. Once upon a time there was a small village of Shepherd Tereshechka. He had one fun hobby: he collected litter in a field of goats and gave it to everyone he saw. Locals quietly considered him not quite healthy, and visitors and did give gingerbread and candy.
Of course, no one took his “gifts”, but nothing bad was done to Tereshechka either. Until one day he met the boy’s shepherd. The boy refused the proposed manure and even shouted at the donor, saying “you eat your treats yourself!”.
And then what happened? A kind and clumsy-looking shepherd became angry, lifted a stick from the ground and chased the boy. It was very dramatic and even dramatic change Looking like a local idiot.
What happened is very simple. The donor was just revealed. His inner motives were pulled out and he himself was made to understand that he saw his lies and hidden thoughts. At the same moment, it became unnecessary to hide your gut, and the shepherd showed himself completely. The boy for him ceased to be just a boy, and became a bad and unpleasant opponent.
In our society there are many similar examples of such Tereshchek. Some people portray people who are kind and very nice, even though they actually talk and do nasty things behind their backs. Others from the very beginning show their “not too kind inner world” and simply offer to accept it, in fact expecting a good attitude towards themselves.
What really unites these people is their complexity, their abruptness, or, as it is now common to say. toxicity. The causes of its occurrence can be very different: from genetic predisposition to upbringing and environmental influence.
Each particular case is interesting in its own way. But for now, we'd like to look at this kind of behavior on a mass scale without going into details. So, what “toxic treats” do we often get in real life?
“Oh, honey, you've been looking bad lately. You should take care of yourself.
I saw pictures of your dishes on the social network. Mommy, are you taking pictures of this? Don't make people laugh.
“Well, you got a bouquet for March 8th.” Flowers are rare, but they are sluggish. Ikebana can be made.
515964
What should we do with people like that? Respond to them with the same coin and just click on the nose. Figuratively speaking, of course. There is no need to switch to high tones. Just once and for all let the person know that you perfectly understand what game he is playing and stupid barbs in your address will not go unnoticed.
You can see positive people right away. Their words and wishes really warm the soul and they always want to share their warmth. So why not waste your time and emotions on these people? It will be an exchange that will only benefit you. And let negative emotions accumulate in themselves. You shouldn't care about them.
Our opinion Editorial Board "Site" In a sense, she shares Anna Kiryanova’s thoughts about people with a “toxic” nature. You can never be offended. In addition, some people, like energy vampires, just take advantage of the kindness of friends and pull all the juices out of them, pretending to be white and fluffy.
However, situations in life are very different. What to do, for example, if such a "stupid shepherd" was relative? Not only is there negativity in the relationship, but you will also contribute to the fire and add fuel to it. In the end, you will be the initiator of the conflict in the eyes of others.
Or, if you have known a person for a long time, you can trace the changes in his character. Here, a few years ago, it was beautiful, kind and charming. But something happened in her life that broke her inner world. Is it not better to bring it back to its former level and change a person for the better? Or won't it work?
In short, we believe that this issue requires a more thorough approach and investigation. As is often the case, there are pros and cons. We hope, dear reader, that you will understand everything, if you have such a situation and in no case will not tolerate such "treats", even from the closest people.
Which scenario will be preferable: agreement in everything with a harsh person or, conversely, active resistance and unwillingness to succumb to provocation. Let's try to figure it out together.
Let’s consider a small but interesting story, a fairy tale. Once upon a time there was a small village of Shepherd Tereshechka. He had one fun hobby: he collected litter in a field of goats and gave it to everyone he saw. Locals quietly considered him not quite healthy, and visitors and did give gingerbread and candy.
Of course, no one took his “gifts”, but nothing bad was done to Tereshechka either. Until one day he met the boy’s shepherd. The boy refused the proposed manure and even shouted at the donor, saying “you eat your treats yourself!”.
And then what happened? A kind and clumsy-looking shepherd became angry, lifted a stick from the ground and chased the boy. It was very dramatic and even dramatic change Looking like a local idiot.
What happened is very simple. The donor was just revealed. His inner motives were pulled out and he himself was made to understand that he saw his lies and hidden thoughts. At the same moment, it became unnecessary to hide your gut, and the shepherd showed himself completely. The boy for him ceased to be just a boy, and became a bad and unpleasant opponent.
In our society there are many similar examples of such Tereshchek. Some people portray people who are kind and very nice, even though they actually talk and do nasty things behind their backs. Others from the very beginning show their “not too kind inner world” and simply offer to accept it, in fact expecting a good attitude towards themselves.
What really unites these people is their complexity, their abruptness, or, as it is now common to say. toxicity. The causes of its occurrence can be very different: from genetic predisposition to upbringing and environmental influence.
Each particular case is interesting in its own way. But for now, we'd like to look at this kind of behavior on a mass scale without going into details. So, what “toxic treats” do we often get in real life?
“Oh, honey, you've been looking bad lately. You should take care of yourself.
I saw pictures of your dishes on the social network. Mommy, are you taking pictures of this? Don't make people laugh.
“Well, you got a bouquet for March 8th.” Flowers are rare, but they are sluggish. Ikebana can be made.
515964
What should we do with people like that? Respond to them with the same coin and just click on the nose. Figuratively speaking, of course. There is no need to switch to high tones. Just once and for all let the person know that you perfectly understand what game he is playing and stupid barbs in your address will not go unnoticed.
You can see positive people right away. Their words and wishes really warm the soul and they always want to share their warmth. So why not waste your time and emotions on these people? It will be an exchange that will only benefit you. And let negative emotions accumulate in themselves. You shouldn't care about them.
Our opinion Editorial Board "Site" In a sense, she shares Anna Kiryanova’s thoughts about people with a “toxic” nature. You can never be offended. In addition, some people, like energy vampires, just take advantage of the kindness of friends and pull all the juices out of them, pretending to be white and fluffy.
However, situations in life are very different. What to do, for example, if such a "stupid shepherd" was relative? Not only is there negativity in the relationship, but you will also contribute to the fire and add fuel to it. In the end, you will be the initiator of the conflict in the eyes of others.
Or, if you have known a person for a long time, you can trace the changes in his character. Here, a few years ago, it was beautiful, kind and charming. But something happened in her life that broke her inner world. Is it not better to bring it back to its former level and change a person for the better? Or won't it work?
In short, we believe that this issue requires a more thorough approach and investigation. As is often the case, there are pros and cons. We hope, dear reader, that you will understand everything, if you have such a situation and in no case will not tolerate such "treats", even from the closest people.
