Why did my husband get slack and brazen a year after the wedding? Bashny.Net

What to do if after years of marriage Has your husband changed beyond recognition? The answer can only be found by carefully considering the reasons for these changes. Let's try to find out why our husbands turn from romantics with hearts in their eyes into lazy, untalking slobs.

I have a friend who has been married for 20 years. Tonya is cheerful and always in a good mood. It was the first time she came to me in tears. I made her a big cup of tea and prepared to listen. I sincerely wanted to help my friend, although I had to hide my surprise. I was sure she just couldn't be sad.



Antonina rarely talked about her husband and family life. All I knew was that her husband seemed like a good man, but I didn't know the details. And here they finally opened... Tonya cried and said that she could not stand such a family way of life.



The fact was that her husband, Vasily, in the first five years. It was a real ideal. A fairytale prince, you wouldn't say. He invited his young wife to restaurants, cooked breakfast in bed. Gifts, attention and assistance were commonplace for the young man. After the birth of the children, assistance extended to this area.



In general, the guy had no soul in Tonechka. And then, 20 years later, Tonya suddenly realized that There is a completely different person nearby. Now Vasya after work immediately falls on the couch and turns on the TV. Sometimes he hangs on his phone, filling his time after work with silly toys.



What a help! Vasily Petrovich himself requires endless attention, cooking, and He doesn’t even remember anniversaries and holidays. Gifts were rare at first and have now disappeared. Tonya tells me this, and she cries herself. She's been ignoring it for a long time, and now she's kind of got her sight. He says he doesn't even know when it went wrong.



I thought a little after this sad story and asked Tonya something. I was interested in her reaction. behavior that my husband had before. The friend squinted his nose and began to indignate. Like, what does it matter already? I gently insisted on the answer, and Tonya thought about it.



It turned out that Antonina grew up in typical patriarchal family. In one where women served their husbands fully and considered it the absolute norm. And that service wasn't just on the physical level. For example, emotionally, Tony's mother also required full dedication. Although her husband did not want to hear about her problems.



That's Antonina. pattern My husband. All his attempts to pay attention to her, to help her, to take away some of the duties of the house she met not with acceptance and gratitude. No, she always said something in style:

"Oh, nothing!"

"I'll do it myself..."

"Better sit and rest, dear."

People quickly get used to the good. So Tonin's husband changed. Vasya used to. This eternal "all by itself". It may have happened unconsciously, without his active desire, but he stopped doing things that Tonya didn't seem to need. Sadly, but it turns out that She turned her marriage into something uncertain and wrong.

Tone was hard. accept love, care and help. Her childhood beliefs prevented her from enjoying it. She felt like she wasn’t worthy of it, didn’t deserve it. It's even easier. There is no need to explain anything to anyone...

Do you know these situations? What do you think about my friend? It may not be her fault, but she. It accelerated what had to happen. Who knows...