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How to discuss with parents the purchase of an apartment on credit
Moving to a new apartment The old one is always a holiday. Renovation of everyday life, new repairs (not endless, of course), buying stylish furniture and other arrangement somehow motivate us to show creativity and creativity.
But it doesn't always work out the way you want. For example, if a person, a loved one, with whom you grew up and lived for a long time, will not find their own corner in the new house. Is it a betrayal or a normal life process? We can't make an assessment here. That's a very sensitive question.
The house in the village remained for me from my mother. Well-groomed and handsome, I liked him very much during my childhood. Now I am 63 and you understand, from its former beauty and comfort there is not much left. Despite everything, our family always monitored his condition, made repairs, troubleshooted.
Near the house there are several acres of land: so, for a pleasant pastime. Not a garden or a field of potatoes. There I planted flowers, a couple of shrubs, in short, so that the eye would rejoice and not have to spend much time. I think it turned out very well, and from the outside it looks great.
My daughter is 30 years old, and she and her husband and young son live with me, or rather, lived with me. I don't mind, we're family. Anton, my son-in-law, helps around the house, the garden, raises his son, everything is as it should be: little by little, so as not to get tired of the main job. Lida's daughter sits with a kid. She used to work as a primary school teacher, but took a decree.
And six months ago, without consulting me, they took out a bank loan to buy their apartment. Since the district is not very large, you can buy an apartment in the city is not too expensive, as in Moscow or Leningrad. As always, I was the last person to know, it was a surprise.
My first reaction was joy: a four-story building with a nice three-bedroom apartment. It's not too close, new neighbors, again a change of scenery. Of course, the old house was a pity: I know every corner of it, every wall. But nothing, the price is small, so it makes no sense to sell. It'll be like a holiday home.
When I asked Lida what room I was going to get, she looked dark. After a short pause, I was given the following answer: “Mom, this is how you can spoil the mood.” We took this apartment for ourselves. One room for Anton and me, the other for the little one. Well, the living room is required, XXI century. But don't worry, will we get you something you want, a new vacuum cleaner or a TV?
I felt bad and hurt, and I said that I urgently need to go to the clinic. I actually went to my neighbor to tell the news and complain about my situation. We talked and sighed, but what can we do? Together we decided it was simply because of the rapid development of events. They won't do this to their mother, it takes time.
And now it has been 3 months since my daughter and her grandson and husband moved into a new apartment. We had, of course, called in a couple of times, but we talked about things that were aloof: the weather, the rumors, the grandson's reading success. This time I called with a hint that they had changed their mind about me.
"No," Lida says, "they didn't change their minds." We were just picking out the couch. But you, mother, decided to make a surprise more interesting: took, then, and vacuum cleaner and TV! Like it's gonna make me feel better. Of course, they promised to come to visit. Not so far away, and the grandson should leave with the grandmother sometimes.
Tell me, please, is it right that my own daughter and son-in-law turned away from me? And why is that? I didn’t force them to do anything to help. She didn't scream or make a scandal. It was okay. Why is this change? In a three-room apartment and I would definitely have enough space, what guests they can have there, I know all their friends by heart!
But it doesn't always work out the way you want. For example, if a person, a loved one, with whom you grew up and lived for a long time, will not find their own corner in the new house. Is it a betrayal or a normal life process? We can't make an assessment here. That's a very sensitive question.
The house in the village remained for me from my mother. Well-groomed and handsome, I liked him very much during my childhood. Now I am 63 and you understand, from its former beauty and comfort there is not much left. Despite everything, our family always monitored his condition, made repairs, troubleshooted.
Near the house there are several acres of land: so, for a pleasant pastime. Not a garden or a field of potatoes. There I planted flowers, a couple of shrubs, in short, so that the eye would rejoice and not have to spend much time. I think it turned out very well, and from the outside it looks great.
My daughter is 30 years old, and she and her husband and young son live with me, or rather, lived with me. I don't mind, we're family. Anton, my son-in-law, helps around the house, the garden, raises his son, everything is as it should be: little by little, so as not to get tired of the main job. Lida's daughter sits with a kid. She used to work as a primary school teacher, but took a decree.
And six months ago, without consulting me, they took out a bank loan to buy their apartment. Since the district is not very large, you can buy an apartment in the city is not too expensive, as in Moscow or Leningrad. As always, I was the last person to know, it was a surprise.
My first reaction was joy: a four-story building with a nice three-bedroom apartment. It's not too close, new neighbors, again a change of scenery. Of course, the old house was a pity: I know every corner of it, every wall. But nothing, the price is small, so it makes no sense to sell. It'll be like a holiday home.
When I asked Lida what room I was going to get, she looked dark. After a short pause, I was given the following answer: “Mom, this is how you can spoil the mood.” We took this apartment for ourselves. One room for Anton and me, the other for the little one. Well, the living room is required, XXI century. But don't worry, will we get you something you want, a new vacuum cleaner or a TV?
I felt bad and hurt, and I said that I urgently need to go to the clinic. I actually went to my neighbor to tell the news and complain about my situation. We talked and sighed, but what can we do? Together we decided it was simply because of the rapid development of events. They won't do this to their mother, it takes time.
And now it has been 3 months since my daughter and her grandson and husband moved into a new apartment. We had, of course, called in a couple of times, but we talked about things that were aloof: the weather, the rumors, the grandson's reading success. This time I called with a hint that they had changed their mind about me.
"No," Lida says, "they didn't change their minds." We were just picking out the couch. But you, mother, decided to make a surprise more interesting: took, then, and vacuum cleaner and TV! Like it's gonna make me feel better. Of course, they promised to come to visit. Not so far away, and the grandson should leave with the grandmother sometimes.
Tell me, please, is it right that my own daughter and son-in-law turned away from me? And why is that? I didn’t force them to do anything to help. She didn't scream or make a scandal. It was okay. Why is this change? In a three-room apartment and I would definitely have enough space, what guests they can have there, I know all their friends by heart!
