Is it necessary to listen to the exhausting criticism of the husband to save the family? Bashny.Net

As they say in our family: “A strange family is dark.” And even if it seems that the union, which has existed for several decades, is strong and reliable, the fault of its collapse may be, for example, a grumpy wife or a woman who is not a member of the family. husband-owner.



That is our story today, which was sent to us by an attentive reader, is also, unfortunately, not too rosy. Everything as usual: husband, wife and clarifying the relationship. For some it may take a year, and for others it may take a lot longer.

I was born in a large family with an outdated, patriarchal way of life. The older ones looked after the younger ones, and the younger ones looked after the older ones. Just so you understand, we were 9 kids, not too spoiled parental love and attention. Growing up was happening earlier than in other families, work is in the first place.

After my 15 years in the house, I was considered a burden, and my mother was afraid that I would stay in girls for a long time. So it's no surprise that at 18, I married a man I'd known for about two weeks. It didn't matter: his parents knew mine well, and he was 27 years old, so it was time.



The most expensive thing of my dowry was a colorful tablecloth of some motley fabric. Nothing to say, enviable bride. The three of us lived together: me, my husband and his lying grandmother. Given that it was a two-bedroom apartment, I felt almost completely alone, especially when compared to my previous neighborhood of 5 kids in the same room.

Of course, there was no love between us. But a forced friendship began, and after 2 years I gave birth to a son. It brought our family closer together. Soon his grandmother left us, and six months later we had a girl. And we decided to name her after my grandmother.



Her husband’s name was never a bad person. He kept me with the kids and spent most of my time at work. As such, communication between us did not exist, but this is not surprising, because such was the time. As the years passed, I realized that I could do nothing but housework. Cleaning and cooking.

In those years, I did not know what the Internet was, and there was not enough time to go to the library for some books of interest to me. And when to read? Well, one day I came across a program that talked about how to make various crafts out of soap. I went to the market, bought groceries and everything I needed for my future hobby. In the evening, I listened to my husband’s cries about wasting money on some rubbish.

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And you know, I'm starting to do it. Not too much at first, but then it gets better and better. The first samples I gave to the neighbors and asked them to recommend me to friends, because it is so useful and unusual! A year later, I even had my own money, which, however, I spent on goodies for children and small things around the house. My husband was still squeezing his lips and demanding more time for his family.

My daughter was sick a lot, and that’s why I knew it was necessary to stay at home. It wasn’t until she was 15 that I was able to go looking for a job under my husband’s dissatisfied grunt. Visitors began to come to us and life, in principle, began to improve.



Except Vasya hasn't changed. In public with me, he was polite, and sometimes even gentle. We often walked with ice cream or flowers. As soon as we entered the house, it changed. And the figure of my swimmer got, and the spots on the new dress. But I got used to it, you know? After all, this tone from him I heard all my life, but with age it began to sound louder and more often.

No, he never raised his hands. Not me, not the kids. Except words hurt too. It also hurts when your son begins to echo his father and snap at his mother. And this is certainly not the age, because with his father he is both fishing and hiking. All I get is screaming about my personal space.

The last straw was an ordinary towel, a handkerchief. I bought it with my own money, like so many other things. But my husband didn't like the color. Idiot and childish, you look like a cow in a hat. And then I realized that I could not live with this person for another day. Children are over twenty years old. And I learned to work. What am I waiting for?



So, fat and useless, according to my “dear” husband, I decided to file for divorce. Now I live in a rented apartment, small but clean, that's how easy it is to clean. I feel better mentally and physically too. Adult children don’t support me much, especially my son. My daughter says she misses me, but she agrees with me.



There is no thought of returning to me. But the former (not yet officially) husband calls every day. At first he just yelled and cursed me with all his might. Now, on the contrary, he says that he realized everything and seeks forgiveness. But I’m not offended, just there was a time when I gave myself the opportunity to push, and now that time is over.



I don’t want to ask you anything, dear ones. "Site". Just sharing my story. I feel good despite my age and just enjoy life. Good luck to you!