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What to do if relatives brazenly demand to give them unnecessary things
Communication between relatives is a separate topic for conversation. Someone is doing very well with them and even invited to visit. And someone is much worse and it seems that their next “zakidon” is last straw in your relationship. You can’t know because everyone is different.
An interesting letter came to our editorial office, in which a young mother is interested in what to do, because, in addition to her own small child, for whom she needs an eye and an eye, she also has relatives on the part of her husband who behave very immature. We found the situation interesting, so we will post it here. Perhaps you, dear reader, will understand.
The last straw Hello, my dears "Site". As a woman I am married and with a child, you know, too much time for hiking with friends, unfortunately, I do not. But there is one very sensitive question that you can try to answer.
My husband and I have a 2 year old child. It doesn’t matter what your name is, it’s not about names. There. When I first became pregnant, my mother and my husband’s family made a large amount of money to help us financially. Repairs, impending diapers, baby food and so on.
The father-in-law even offered to save money so that I would then go on vacation, give the body a rest after giving birth. That's very nice of him, but I don't think it's serious enough.
Since my husband and I went to work, we had some start-up capital. And we decided to do the following: the money given by the parents to put on deposit, and those that were on hand, spend on the child and life. That is, no rest, repairs and other things.
It seemed to us (and still seems so) that the baby somehow does not care about the wallpaper unstuck in one place or a few spots on the ceiling. Said, done. We bought diapers, we bought a crib, a stroller, a bunch of baby things. What do you think? It's all very well so far. We have enough, and my husband doesn't go shopping for the last can of baby food.
Now next. Six months ago, my husband’s sister was in the same position. Her husband’s parents and my father-in-law and mother-in-law this time also did not spare money, gave the young family. I heard it was the same amount somewhere. What do you think? They flew to Yalta. We had a good time before the baby arrived.
Some of the money they actually left behind. But... Have you been to Yalta recently? You can leave your home with today’s prices in a couple of days. But that's not my story.
Recently, I put a baby’s crib on an Internet site selling household items. We took it wisely, quality. There wasn't even a scratch, not like cracks or anything. They decided to approach the matter in detail: they set the price tag 10% less than the original price, so that there was a maneuver for bargaining. So, slowly, I decided to sell.
Well, my righteous one is a braggart, so he told his mother how smart we are. And the thing, it turns out, quality for the child took and sell it now for almost the same money. That's where it started. My mother and mother-in-law started calling to see how we were doing and what was new.
Then came the offer to sell the sister of the husband “old bed” for a third of the price, and then agreed that it would be nice to give for free. “No, let them pay for a freight taxi. Thought... Who takes the money to deliver gifts? Why don't you pay them a taxi, huh?
I'm personally resentful. Why should I give my son’s expensive cot if I already have plans for the money I get from it? And they touch my child again! When they had the opportunity, they took it as they saw fit. Why should I care about that?!
And the husband decided not to get involved in this fight, he does not care. As a man, I am going to be wrong. So let me be wrong now and think of nothing at all, but fight my relatives and be just as wrong. If you want, sell the crib, and if you want, give it back.
As you can see, I have no one to lean on. That is why I am addressing your editorial board. Give me some advice. Of course, we are not impoverished by this situation, but it is a matter of principle: we must remain in our opinion. Or not?
An interesting letter came to our editorial office, in which a young mother is interested in what to do, because, in addition to her own small child, for whom she needs an eye and an eye, she also has relatives on the part of her husband who behave very immature. We found the situation interesting, so we will post it here. Perhaps you, dear reader, will understand.
The last straw Hello, my dears "Site". As a woman I am married and with a child, you know, too much time for hiking with friends, unfortunately, I do not. But there is one very sensitive question that you can try to answer.
My husband and I have a 2 year old child. It doesn’t matter what your name is, it’s not about names. There. When I first became pregnant, my mother and my husband’s family made a large amount of money to help us financially. Repairs, impending diapers, baby food and so on.
The father-in-law even offered to save money so that I would then go on vacation, give the body a rest after giving birth. That's very nice of him, but I don't think it's serious enough.
Since my husband and I went to work, we had some start-up capital. And we decided to do the following: the money given by the parents to put on deposit, and those that were on hand, spend on the child and life. That is, no rest, repairs and other things.
It seemed to us (and still seems so) that the baby somehow does not care about the wallpaper unstuck in one place or a few spots on the ceiling. Said, done. We bought diapers, we bought a crib, a stroller, a bunch of baby things. What do you think? It's all very well so far. We have enough, and my husband doesn't go shopping for the last can of baby food.
Now next. Six months ago, my husband’s sister was in the same position. Her husband’s parents and my father-in-law and mother-in-law this time also did not spare money, gave the young family. I heard it was the same amount somewhere. What do you think? They flew to Yalta. We had a good time before the baby arrived.
Some of the money they actually left behind. But... Have you been to Yalta recently? You can leave your home with today’s prices in a couple of days. But that's not my story.
Recently, I put a baby’s crib on an Internet site selling household items. We took it wisely, quality. There wasn't even a scratch, not like cracks or anything. They decided to approach the matter in detail: they set the price tag 10% less than the original price, so that there was a maneuver for bargaining. So, slowly, I decided to sell.
Well, my righteous one is a braggart, so he told his mother how smart we are. And the thing, it turns out, quality for the child took and sell it now for almost the same money. That's where it started. My mother and mother-in-law started calling to see how we were doing and what was new.
Then came the offer to sell the sister of the husband “old bed” for a third of the price, and then agreed that it would be nice to give for free. “No, let them pay for a freight taxi. Thought... Who takes the money to deliver gifts? Why don't you pay them a taxi, huh?
I'm personally resentful. Why should I give my son’s expensive cot if I already have plans for the money I get from it? And they touch my child again! When they had the opportunity, they took it as they saw fit. Why should I care about that?!
And the husband decided not to get involved in this fight, he does not care. As a man, I am going to be wrong. So let me be wrong now and think of nothing at all, but fight my relatives and be just as wrong. If you want, sell the crib, and if you want, give it back.
As you can see, I have no one to lean on. That is why I am addressing your editorial board. Give me some advice. Of course, we are not impoverished by this situation, but it is a matter of principle: we must remain in our opinion. Or not?
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