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Is it worth leaving a weakening mother unattended if you want to arrange a personal life?
Parents are the most valuable thing a person has. They take care of us from the first days of their lives and devote most of their lives to raising children. When children grow up, it is time to do their duty to their parents, to take care of them. Nobody says it's easy. Especially when there are health problems in mom or dad, adult children are faced with a choice: build their lives or devote years of life to caring for those closest to them.
This is the situation Vera faced. The girl doesn't know what to do: I'm 31, my mother has advanced dementia. I don’t want to leave her alone, but I can’t build a personal life. My mom and I live in her apartment, no dad, no brothers and sisters either. I can no longer carry everything on my shoulders, I do not know what I want from life, what I do next. It is very difficult for me to watch her torment, and I cannot give her native man to the nursing home. And at the same time, I'm afraid to be an old maid, I don't know how to be.
You can not ignore your own interests, but you can not ignore the well-being of relatives. When you are faced with a difficult choice, it is important to scroll through different options in your head to solve the problem, look at it from different angles. In the case of Vera, it is important to understand that if she does not try to live independently, she will face other difficulties in creating her own family.
Adult children must build their personal lives, grow and develop on their own. Like chicks, when we grow up, we fly out of our parent's nest. It is very difficult to reject the idea that we betray parents who have health problems. But not everyone has that mindset. For example, in Germany, it is customary to hire a nurse for parents with appropriate education. And if the nurse does not cope, parents on their own initiative or on the initiative of children go to a special institution. And there's no betrayal.
You need to understand that to monitor the state of the mother 24 hours a day and devote time to work, and especially personal life physically will not work. In addition, depending on the disease, people need special care. This care is not always possible at home, especially on your own. In a nursing home, people find like-minded people and even sometimes fall in love. They're never alone there. Communication in old age is very important. Some organizations combine orphanages with nursing homes, which is a great idea. Older generations become mentors for orphans.
When a person takes everything on his shoulders, rushes to pharmacies, shops, does not move away from the bed of the parent, it psychologically puts a lot of pressure on him. A closed circle of running, despair and difficult work drives a person into a deep depression. And if this happens, help will need not only the mother of the girl, but also Vera. Leaving your mother in her apartment and moving to live in a rented apartment means putting your mother in danger.
Loss of independence, forgetfulness threatens life. Therefore, a person should always be under the supervision of specialists. Psychologists should work with him and his family, and health workers should provide proper treatment and care. It is important to choose the appropriate institution with all the conditions. That doesn't mean Vera will leave her mother. Nope. She will visit her as often as she can. And at the same time, she will arrange her life without fear that her mother has no one to leave with.
It is important not to be afraid of your decisions. Weigh all the pros and cons, if necessary, contact a specialist and talk about what worries us. Guilt, regardless of our decisions, will torment us because it will always seem that we could have done otherwise. You need to think and solve the situation, consult a psychologist, friends, relatives. In any case, do not be left alone with the problem, it will only drive into a dead end. What do you think about that? Take care of yourself and your parents.
This is the situation Vera faced. The girl doesn't know what to do: I'm 31, my mother has advanced dementia. I don’t want to leave her alone, but I can’t build a personal life. My mom and I live in her apartment, no dad, no brothers and sisters either. I can no longer carry everything on my shoulders, I do not know what I want from life, what I do next. It is very difficult for me to watch her torment, and I cannot give her native man to the nursing home. And at the same time, I'm afraid to be an old maid, I don't know how to be.
You can not ignore your own interests, but you can not ignore the well-being of relatives. When you are faced with a difficult choice, it is important to scroll through different options in your head to solve the problem, look at it from different angles. In the case of Vera, it is important to understand that if she does not try to live independently, she will face other difficulties in creating her own family.
Adult children must build their personal lives, grow and develop on their own. Like chicks, when we grow up, we fly out of our parent's nest. It is very difficult to reject the idea that we betray parents who have health problems. But not everyone has that mindset. For example, in Germany, it is customary to hire a nurse for parents with appropriate education. And if the nurse does not cope, parents on their own initiative or on the initiative of children go to a special institution. And there's no betrayal.
You need to understand that to monitor the state of the mother 24 hours a day and devote time to work, and especially personal life physically will not work. In addition, depending on the disease, people need special care. This care is not always possible at home, especially on your own. In a nursing home, people find like-minded people and even sometimes fall in love. They're never alone there. Communication in old age is very important. Some organizations combine orphanages with nursing homes, which is a great idea. Older generations become mentors for orphans.
When a person takes everything on his shoulders, rushes to pharmacies, shops, does not move away from the bed of the parent, it psychologically puts a lot of pressure on him. A closed circle of running, despair and difficult work drives a person into a deep depression. And if this happens, help will need not only the mother of the girl, but also Vera. Leaving your mother in her apartment and moving to live in a rented apartment means putting your mother in danger.
Loss of independence, forgetfulness threatens life. Therefore, a person should always be under the supervision of specialists. Psychologists should work with him and his family, and health workers should provide proper treatment and care. It is important to choose the appropriate institution with all the conditions. That doesn't mean Vera will leave her mother. Nope. She will visit her as often as she can. And at the same time, she will arrange her life without fear that her mother has no one to leave with.
It is important not to be afraid of your decisions. Weigh all the pros and cons, if necessary, contact a specialist and talk about what worries us. Guilt, regardless of our decisions, will torment us because it will always seem that we could have done otherwise. You need to think and solve the situation, consult a psychologist, friends, relatives. In any case, do not be left alone with the problem, it will only drive into a dead end. What do you think about that? Take care of yourself and your parents.
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