Why should a mother justify herself to adult children if she wants to divorce?

Separation from husbandEspecially in adulthood, the decision is not easy. However, if feelings fade, then why torture yourself, because people are already adults, everyone understands everything. There is no need to be afraid of the decisions made.



Or is it, as the old proverb says, "sedin in the beard, demon in the rib"? And so to cross out the years spent together is a terrible mistake! Perhaps you need to somehow reconcile and hide to each other, after all, not small children to divorce for trifles? What do you think, dear reader?

Hello, my name is Svetlana, and I have this story. I'm a new retiree. It's been six months. There are grown children, husband, cat. In principle, I do not complain about life, I live, although not rich, but not bad. I love reading, drawing and watching old movies. At the same time, I really want to get divorced.

I was born in the village and grew up there. Married a guy from the neighborhood. You know what they say: young green? This was about me when I got married. A feeling of first love, a step into the unknown, a hope for something new, interesting. And a sigh of relief, because I have 4 lazy brothers, so I had to do housework for myself and for them.



We began to live with my husband, with his mother and father. To my father-in-law, I had no complaints and have not yet. He was hardly home, working. My mother-in-law chased me every day from assignment to assignment. She often turned to screaming, but was mostly just aggressive. She turned her son against me, said I was lazy and they didn't need me here at all.

After a while I realized that the father-in-law did not show up at home because of this woman. But I also noticed that my husband had drifted away from me. He no longer protects his mother from attacks, although he sees that they are absolutely groundless. It was a shame, but I was hoping for the best.



Then the kids came along and the attitude towards me got even worse. That was the first time I thought about divorce. Sometime during this period, my parents gave me an apartment in the city. Not that big, but moving made sense. Prospects and (for me personally) distance from the "beloved" mother-in-law. We left with the kids.

I got into town almost immediately. I like to learn new things and learn well. My husband couldn't find a job. He used to be an authority among the locals, but nobody knew him in the city. From coven to coven, that's how we lived. Over time, I became the breadwinner in the house. Then I thought about divorce for the second time.



Don’t get me wrong, I understand that not everyone can make money. But my husband kept treating me like a boor. In no way supported, but only remembered about his native village and the fact that “we should go to mom and dad to visit all together, how are they there without me?” ?

Then the children grew up and moved. They found their other halves. Nothing has changed for me, but at least there is more room for me to relax and read a book. If my husband didn’t make the show, it would be fine. That was my third wave of thoughts about divorce. But she died down.

And then I retired. In general, I have enough money, I am not used to spending it anywhere. All I need is calm. And now, recently, my “confident” tells me that I should be grateful to him. You see, he was running around town, but he found me a good income, caring for an elderly sick woman. The money in the family will be enough and I will not go crazy without a job.



It was the last straw and I kicked him out. Packed up and escorted him out of the apartment. My apartment. Why do I need this man, if he's only getting worse, and much worse? I am retired, how much can I tell you what to do?

But our kids didn't get it. My mother is now my number one enemy. She kicked her father out of the apartment in her old age. I don't have a heart. I can't explain anything to them, Father. Every day I have no, no, but the thought comes to forgive my husband and let him back home. But almost immediately I drive her away.



Or am I doing the wrong thing, and I can make a deal with him? Maybe he'll realize he's wrong, and we'll live normally? I don't need much. Let him go about his business, but he doesn't touch me. You see, the kids will help.