Interaction between children in a large family?This article hardly will interest those who have one or two children, and who does not think about increasing the family. But parents may be interested together to reflect on the role and position of the middle child among the older and younger brothers and sisters.
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Distribution of roles
Whatever the relationship between the older children, with the birth of the baby they are unlikely to undergo significant changes. But the youngest member of the family has yet to find its place in the family hierarchy, to build their own relationship with the older brothers and sisters.
Giving birth to the third, mom is not so concerned about the danger of jealousy, because children have long been accustomed to the fact that their parents have two. They learned to give, to share, to sacrifice their own interests, albeit not always willingly. This gives mom hope that the third child will join the family easily and organically. Yes, and the older children look forward to the appearance of the baby born.
Of two children in a better position is a senior – he's already familiar with the role of the "big" and "adult", and gladly will test it on the baby, which can be downright parental care.But medium several uncomfortable: he's not used to the fact that he was considered a great; Willy-nilly he has to slowly break up with benefits "cute kid".
It is easy to guess that the average child experiencing the same feelings experienced senior after his birth. All these years he was Junior, he was considered "little more", he was asked not as strictly as with an older brother or sister. He successfully used the role of a universal small pet. And suddenly the situation changes: the family has another kid, have to make room.
How to help?
A wise mother should pay special attention to the middle child to help him get comfortable in the new role. Now he also became a senior.It is an honourable and responsible. But change should not be too sharp; sometimes he wants as before, to be a kid. Don't push him too high hopes in helping with the housework, especially if he had previously been exempted from such duties. Let the new job gradually and don't expect stability. He will not soon begin to fulfill their domestic responsibilities always willingly and without reminders.
Try to spend more time with the middle child, play with him in his favorite game or to tell something exciting. If not enough time, just sit near him while he does her homework and you iron them, mend linen or fill out the receipt for rent.
Do not forget about the firstborn – seeing your concern about the feelings of the average child, it can survive a new round of jealousy. The baby mothers requires too much time and your "experienced" first-born had forgotten that newborns are so helpless. Your involvement in caring for the baby can make him feel lonely and useless.Try to set aside a moment for the older to share with him your thoughts, feelings, concerns, grown-up, equal. Inspired by your trust, he will be more enthusiastic to help you.
Think about a joint reading – this is a great opportunity to devote time to the older children. Use for this lesson, frequent breastfeeding. Get walking with newborn husband's or grandma, while they themselves devote free time to the senior and middle child. Or walk all together, play and talk with the seniors, while the baby sleeps in the stroller.
Not the first time
Of course, the specifics of the situation of the middle child consists not only in the fact that after the baby is born he has to give up the role of Junior. Another essential feature is in a slightly different plane. Consider whether its advantage or disadvantage – judge for yourself.
When the firstborn goes to kindergarten or school, you have long tormented choice, read reviews online, ask friends, no doubt. You are waiting with trepidation for the first of September, this solemn day, when your child crosses the threshold of "adulthood".With the second, everything is easier: the trodden path, all is known, worries much less.
The lack of excessive nervousness in connection with an important event can be considered a positive phenomenon, but only as long as it does not go into indifference. Often third baby pulls on your attention, demanding major concerns on the strength of the helpless age. But for the average child this day is no less important and exciting than to older! He may feel disappointment if they understand that family does not share his feelings, because for parents it's all "past stage".
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Parents need to try to watch for upcoming events through the eyes of his middle child to keep a fresh feeling. Try to feel that it is not a reflection or repetition of the firstborn, his impressions and feelings of the individual. Pay them due attention, do not neglect them, referring to employment.
Most likely, these tips will take you when the younger child will be the same way. You will pay him attention due to the fact that it is longer than the other will remain for you "nice crumb".
Thus, the average child is at a total disadvantage. Senior gets the attention of parents as "the pioneer", the youngest – like "sweet baby", and the average is somewhat in the shade.
Read at night
The middle child has to feel uncomfortable even in a good lesson, as bedtime reading for the night. Baby you read children's tales: "the Turnip", "the Chicken rjabu", because other books he does not yet understand.
Senior you read books for his age, trying to expand his horizons. In fact, as you can read "Uncle Feodor" and "Carlson"? I want to take up something more serious, like "Robinson Crusoe". And you excitedly read aloud refreshing memory from childhood, familiar images; first one with bated breath watching the UPS and downs of the plot, and frankly bored the average, because the long lost thread is too complex for text.
The average child is in an intermediate position: to listen to fairy tales for kids – boring, but books for older age are often too complicated and confusing.Output: either to read yourself or to give up on reading a hand as a waste of time.
What should I do? Few of the parents have the time and desire to read every night three different books – to the extent of understanding and age of each of the children. As one of the options you can offer to choose books, alternating between them: it is more challenging for older, simpler, focusing middle child. And of course, to encourage children to independent reading and choosing books for personal interest.
Finally I want to add that the peculiarities of the average child are not reasons why he should grow unhappy, defective, or having psychological complexes. All of this may not apply to your family; it is likely that because of your maternal instinct you have managed to circumvent the potential pitfalls and your average child grows the happiest of all the children on Earth. published