Children for rules or rules for children

All these phrases that parents should be consistent, always brought me to a screeching halt. I mean, no always means no?

"Parents should behave consistently. "No" is "no" today and yesterday, and tomorrow. The parent's word must be inviolable. You cannot change the rules depending on the mood." All of these phrases always brought me to a screeching halt.Well, the truth is how is it?

©Kate Vellacot

Here's a simple example: food

Always understand that a lot of sweet it is impossible. All right. All agree.

But that came with the celebrations in early March, was chilled to the bone under a nasty drizzle, sitting at the table, skukozhilas, and Eminem second pack of chocolate chip cookies. And good to us.

Or: ice cream is evil. Cold fats. The high sugar content. In General, the horror. And in the summer, in the heat, bought 10 packs of "gourmet" on the five and kneaded without a twinge of conscience.

Or fast food, which all and permanently clear — up until with hungry children will not be next to McDonalds, and then spit on all your rules and will go to where the greasy salty fries and a big Mac. Buy it's all laid out in front of children and happiness.

Well. The food is different.


But mode. Can there be any excuses?

For example, school. I mean, everything is serious. Every day have to go. And lessons to do. Always. But it's good to skip!

Not even from a mild cold, but just — in the mood! It is clear that rarely, very rarely, almost never, but still sometimes Wake up to the alarm clock and say out loud: "Today do not go to school, sleep," and children, barely awake, fell back asleep, and sleep till nine, and then roam, sleeping, around the house all morning in my pajamas, and themselves do not believe that they have a day off in the middle of the week, and from them nobody nothing.

We put ourselves into the frame, often not even their own, and imposed. We torture children impossible rules in order to teach a child them to work and order. We are trying to match is unclear what, instead of living according to the reality of today... And it's all wrong.

Wrong, that rule is more important than life.

Wrong, that "no is always no." No! Well, I mean, it's not like that.

"No" is "no", based on the circumstances in which we are now. It's February and minus two with sleet? Of course, ice cream on the street is impossible. It's July, plus twenty-five? Ice cream is not just possible, but need to eat on the street!

"Until will make lessons, will not get of cartoons" — is also wrong.

This is a harmful and inhumane setting, because everyone is different. And moods of the child — no really, freezing, and so tired that you need to give him this half hour of cartoons, so he simply exhaled and then put his lessons, if not to cancel them and go for a walk with him. And don't tell him instructive: "Until you make lessons, will not get a phone!", although this is what we agreed when you gave them the first mobile phones.

Agreed, Yes. But life is different, and sometimes you can and peredogovarivatsya.

And the child needs to understand, to feel, to know skin to feel that mom will always be first to consider it, and then talk about the rules.

First to hear his arguments, to argue with him, again and again to understand the situation and try to understand, why so interested in math or music, and then talk about the rules, stating that "we need to finish what you started".

Do not have. Sometimes you need to throw right now that are sick. And then a chance to find something interesting.

Sometimes you need not to fulfill its promise to be together until death, and walk away from an unloved man, to meet a favorite. Sometimes you can break the employment contract is signed and to go to the sea to think about what you really want to do.

But for all this, from childhood to know for sure.

No rule can never be more important than you, except for one thing: no violence. Never. Over anyone. The rest of you are free, regardless of any signature and promise.

And to explain this to a child just parents. And only one way: not adjusting to the reality of the child under the rules and changing the rules depending on the child. published

Author: Katerina Antonova


P. S. And remember, just changing your mind - together we change the world! ©



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