They do not need anything to take! Allow children to remain CHILDREN!
Now we in the house have instituted new rules to give my children the opportunity to remain children.
On Christmas vacation I made for my children the best that they could, and we agreed that we whole family went to the theater the next day. Only the most good and proven formulation. And after the show, of course, a snack in the cafe. And in the theater, of course, some gifts.Beauty! But before the fifth of our release, they told me almost in unison: "NO! We in the theatre do not go!". I was taken aback.
Eighty five million six hundred thirty one thousand two hundred thirteen
— How? After all, everything is fine and the performances, and cafes, and gifts. What's wrong?
— All not — grimly replied the children. We don't want to dress nicely, neatly comb your hair and go to your theater. Tired.
— A coffee shop? — did another attempt I.
— No. Broth with pasta and cartoons. — cut kids.
— A skating rink? — I did not give up, and again heard "no".
We actually want to be.
And while the kids the last couple days of vacation were blissfully doing nothing for them, I noticed that for some reason they didn't annoy me with their requests and whims, not fighting with each other and not even begging for cartoons.
But I started school and everything went as usual: we have a noisy house, with words no one climbs, the offense itself does not. We live together peacefully, but occasionally, especially when it comes time to do some more work, and do the lessons, and walk at least half an hour before dark on the wall from each other catch.
— Sit down to do it!
— Let's do homework!
— Clean your room!
And so ascending to infinity. Until I finally got sick — and for a time lost the ability to organize the lives of their children. Then — suddenly — the children have changed completely. They were nice to me and helpful. With delight the cooks in the kitchen and kept his room let in a conditional, but still clean. Squealed with delight when one of them came up with three that you can go for a walk, and within five minutes of going outside yourself, do not forget — neither hats nor mittens, nor even to help each other to fasten the zipper.
My cold is clearly going to benefit the whole house — and our relationship with children especially.
And while the children were walking, and I was sick, I began to remember that basically nothing has changed: freer and more fun all the children were always right when they are not specifically engaged. Then they started to dance in my room, or a freak show, tickets for which is touching and brought everyone home, or just a meditative brush her hair its endless dolls. They were elegant and graceful in these moments. Smiling, humming something to himself, something his quietly laughed and was like the girls from the paintings of the Impressionists.
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But as soon as me or my husband to enter into their rooms, not in order to blissfully lie with his book near them, but in order to give them another job, they were all sharp pinch, raising his shoulders almost to his ears, and began to speak evil and nasty votes. All at once it was getting him all aroused opposition, they began to annoy each other, and inevitably a quarrel.
It has always been. In any case, my children. I just forgot about it since September, falling into the rhythm of school life — we don't have time, we do not, we are still some not so, and to do all school assignments well can not, no matter how grieved over the lessons.
I read a million articles about what to sit with the children on homework you need, and the fact that it is catastrophically bad, about how happy our generation, who grew up in the courts, and how poor the current. I read so much that I forgot the most important thing: to see their children, hear them, consider them, and only them. Well, of course.
And when I saw their children again six months after the start of the school year, I understand. It is enough that they are children and want to play with dolls.
So let him play. And threes and fours in Russian — well. It's better than they finally believe that life is only the word "necessary" and nothing more.
So now we have new rules designed to give my children the opportunity to remain children:
1. Hour of free time
They always have, even in the busiest classes of the day must stay at least an hour of free time at home when they're in their room doing what they want, and adults come in to him with a thud.The festivities, not cartoons, not games in phone. This is doing nothing, fooling around.
If I can't make between secondary school and the music was at least two, and preferably three hours, I removed them from the last classes in a regular school, if not lead them there. Maybe someone from children and can, without losing neither the desire nor the ability to learn, but I have not.And deal with them the Image of a flurry of Activity — I fundamentally do not want.
3. Not a "need" and "want»
All the entertainment you need to organize and where necessary specifically to get theater, lectures, museums, movie is also for children a big load. In addition, it should in principle be a very welcome event, otherwise it makes no sense at all. Because all of the above is essentially about "want" and not about "need". And, hence, do not go there too often to that "want" had been born in the soul of the child to form and Mature to a clear, ideally out loud expressed desires. So twice a month, in fact, more than enough. I generally have to think a hundred times whether to take the output going to the light, or should I stay at home and maybe if the mood and the weather suits, get to the nearest rink. Or not.
4. One day, one thing
Well, the main rule of the weekend, which I adhere to: one day — one thing. No clutter of events — movie in the morning, afternoon ice-skating rink, the evening guests. One case. Or a movie, or skating rink, or guests. And a lot of free time around. Then it's the weekend, and not loaded to the limit exhausting day.
If you follow these rules, children (at least my) time that for some reason is called doing nothing, and in fact, is the need for people of any age action, stay with yourself alone. Simply put, they have time to be children. But it is all a's and performances around the world.published