8 signs that your love life is stuck

That negatively affects family relationships and what to do if:

1. It seems that you spend too much time together.

If you encounter any problematic situations, it is useful to ask yourself the question: "what is happening is a problem for me? What I do not like?"You're bored with your partner? Do not allow yourself to meet up with old friends out of obligation or guilt? I want more time for solitude?

When answering this question, ask yourself: "How do I want to change it? What situation would I like?"Then consider what's stopping you to create the desired situation, how to fix it. Often love is associated with the complete dissolution of a partner's interests and desires. If you have restricted the range of his interests, then you are able again to expand it. Besides, each person is unique, and hence the impressions of jointly experienced events will also be different. Remember that love is not only interesting stories to each other, but often the comfortable silence, understanding each other without words.

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2. Irritation to each other.

Typically, the irritation on the other person relates to their own accumulated stress. Habits of a loved one – the only reason due to which suppressed irritation goes out. At the moment you feel irritated, ask yourself a simple question: "what can I actually get annoyed now? What I really don't like/hate?"View from the, probably similar habits you have, and the partner is your "mirror." Find the reason in yourself, you may want to discuss the reason with your loved ones and to find a solution together. But remember that your loved one is not obliged to execute the role of your psychologist and sort out your internal conflicts.

3. You no longer understand each other perfectly.

Relationship – as any serious project in need of a quality Foundation: understanding why we need this relationship, what is their meaning, the purpose, the principles on which they are built. This may seem strange at the stage of love and absolute confidence in a happy future. But psychologically Mature people are different, they know how to think strategically, so make time to discuss with loved these questions. Write down your expectations: what you want and can give each other, and what to get. May you have your family document which in moments of disagreement will return you to the goals of the Union. Talk, ask, ask questions, do not build speculation, it turns out strange at once, without shelving them.

4. Frequent delays on work to the detriment of time together.

Cases and problems are important and unimportant, urgent and not urgent. If we are talking about important and urgent matters, then the appropriate reaction on both sides would be the adoption of a calm and waiting until things will become. Pausing once at work, Your partner can make a significant contribution to material well-being of the couple. If same situation again, sit down at the negotiating table: think of what you can do to occupy yourself while the partner is busy. May you always be an interesting backup plan, in case of force majeure. The main thing is to do without the ultimatum "me or the job".It's reckless, because the work is usually just for you and for you.

5. You stopped trying to be perfect in the eyes of each other.

One of the differences of love from love that love idealizes the partner, ocharovyvat separate facets of the personality and painting something all other faces. Love includes acceptance of the person as a whole, in all its forms and States. In long-term relationships reveals more unknown faces, time removes the mask — it is naive to believe that all of you will be able to be in the image of those perfect people that met each other. That is why, already at the stage of Dating, it is important to be natural and sincere. If the "natural you" don't like the partner you have 2 choices: either to change yourself to please another person or to save yourself and look for true love. Love passion may indeed fade away, the passion of love will be the stronger, the more you get to know each other.

6. There is a desire to remake partner.

Choosing partners of a person from which you plan to create a "successful project", you risk losing time, energy and more. Some time person can like enthusiastic faith in him and "causing good" at it, but if it is not his inner desire, sooner or later he starts to resist and pull away from your obsessive tinkering. Invest in yourself, in your development, to the development of the couple, but do not press on the person's own expectations. As for comparing myself to others, envy, the reason — the inability to rejoice and be thankful in the here and now. Find yourself in the state of joy, to feel it in the body and train to increase it, rejoicing that you have; make a list of what makes you happy, and regularly replenish it.

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7. It took the desire to surprise each other.

It is difficult to surprise someone who is not ready to be surprised. If you stop to take everything that makes you the partner for granted, the joy and pleasure will become your best friends. Remember that joy is inside of you, it cannot be called from outside. Improve your ability to enjoy everyday things, thankful partner throughout the day for what you like. Remember, we are drawn to communicate and make a nice grateful person, and not to those who are always few and hard to please.

8. Conflicts arise about money.

Issues of material well-being should say from the very beginning of their life together. You need to understand whether you have joint financial goals, shared or separate budget, what do you do with your spare money – spend or save. By themselves these issues are not solved, and in their discussion there is nothing wrong.It is necessary to agree on the Bank, while your boat came to the waters of the turbulent worldly ocean.Solid team going to the joint desired goals, able to overcome any difficulties, while maintaining the love and respect to each other.

Popular themes of women's experiences in relationships:

• "He rarely at home»

The first question to ask yourself: "How it is for me personally the problem?"Sad, bored, lonely, no one to talk to – then you should definitely understand the feeling of loneliness, independently or with the assistance of a psychologist. A self-sufficient adult woman is never bored with myself, remember what you were doing prior to the beginning of your relationship, renew your contacts with friends, refresh your hobby.

Do not trust, jealous, afraid? So, the problems with self-esteem. They may go from childhood, if the parents were not honest to each other, and you were a witness. You need to let go of resentments and grievances to the parents, allowing myself to live differently, trusting your man: the honesty and sincerity.

Feel the uselessness, insignificance, futility – again, seek roots in childhood, to correct their setup, knowing that the other person will not be able to make you necessary and meaningful if you yourself do not think so

You might just be silent and keep all discontent to yourself? Then grow a pair and tell me what you would like to spend more time together, justify this. If a man does not agree, then think twice whether you are ready forever to push their interests further and to accept this state of Affairs.

• "He makes me gifts»

If it was originally, you agreed to its rules. Perhaps he doesn't think gifts are something important and valuable. Then you can directly ask about his point of view on this matter and to draw conclusions.

If you've been doing, but now no longer – perhaps this is a way of manipulation, in order to give you a hint on something that he didn't like, and so you lose the gift. If there are such suspicions, the reveal manipulation better than direct questions.

Perhaps, once you're out of modesty, refused the offers of gifts and he makes no more attempts. Make a humorous ad for his style: "I changed my attitude to the gifts, look forward to and dream about that»

If this point, you very much hurt and offended, again – look for the cause in the past, probably, in the childhood there was a time when you were really looking forward and hoping for a gift, but never got it. And that children's pain POPs up in you at every opportunity, blowing things out of proportion.

• "He can't hear me or understand»

Man is not perfect, as you do. He has inner feelings, thoughts, fears. Often men are lost in the face of women's emotions, they are not always able to digest the full range of experiences, born of a woman. Men are taught from childhood to refer to events rationally, without emotion, and this is their pointless to blame. If you want to vent, and a man occupied with his own thoughts, no offense, Vspomni about the close friends they are willing to talk to you about emotions. It is important to keep the emotional space of the family, protecting each other from unnecessary shocks.

• "Innocent remark in his address goes into the scandal»

Scandals people often try to defend their own personal boundaries. In joint life it is easy to go into an unhealthy game, when you are cute and nice girls turn into a strict mistress or a good (but nevertheless annoying) teacher. And now you are everywhere and in everything want to help him advice to make it better "from the heart". And if at first, it may the man even liked, it accumulate, begins to irritate. Man is free to be what he wants to be. And our right to accept it or not. The tendency to make comments that usually hides a desire to assert themselves and to feel above another person. Remember that the relationship is not a competition for the title of "Most intelligent" and voluntary Association of two people to be happy. Unable to agree with the people that say you are trying to assert themselves, thus, she will start tracking it in. If such self-re-education will not help – see a therapist for the "reconfiguration" of their habits.

• "Annoying habits»

In some areas, we might have something annoying for 2 main reasons. The first reason is "mirror reflection": what is in us, but we carefully hide it. For example, he had a lot of plans, brags, and does little in reality. Look to yourself – perhaps you have a similar trait, and you're annoyed really at myself and my inaction. In this case, or accept this habit in myself, saying to myself: "Yes, I am, I accept it and in her man accept it"; or change their habit and irritation to yourself will be, and the men will appear in the gratitude that he expressed to you the problem and now you got better. The second reason is "forbidden" — you're annoyed by the fact that he allows himself what you yourself are not allowed. For example, he leaves his things, leaves a dirty Cup in the sink. And you were raised strictly, you used to do it right. In this case, it is necessary to weaken their internal strict rules in relation to everyday life and allow yourself to relax too, as he is.Don't be surprised if after a while he will take the part of responsibility in life that you took.published 

 

The Author: Anastas Mazalova

 

P. S. And remember, just changing your mind — together we change the world! ©

Source: psy-in.ru/articles/ubivaet-li-byt-lyubov