When you think that life came to a standstill Bashny.Net

Sometimes we think that life is stalled, but it just failed. "I'm nobody, I never will, no I won't be able to help," we say to myself, not knowing that the output can be very close.

Its history for those who no longer understand what is happening, shared with econet.ru Julia Falkovich.

To all who have lost their way, feel lack of energy, constantly not happy with themselves and doesn't remember what a joy and pleasure. My story for those who understand what you need to change something, but didn't dare to go to a psychologist because:

• thinks he should with all the problems myself
  
  
• afraid that the psychologist will "extort" money from him or "teach yourself"
  
  
• believes that it takes a long time to show positive results and is afraid that will not cope
  
  

How did I come to such a life? The backgroundI was almost 30, I already had extensive experience of building relationships at work, with friends and in your personal life. From the everything seemed good, successful and socially acceptable. But I felt only eternal fatigue, life force, self-doubt and contempt to everything that I do. I didn't know how it's called, and what was happening to me.

I just started to realize that all events, people and circumstances are going in circles.It seemed to me that my life is full of deja vu with the bleak end of the series, at first glance, different, but exactly the same ending events. I realized that my life consists only of what I step on the rake different calibers and sizes in 29 and feel 70 years.

I began to come to the fact that people and circumstances are likely to do with it. At the moment it seems to be a terrible, but salutary thought "I can't do my own life" — gave me the impetus to find out, to understand what I'm doing wrong. Here it was time to go to a psychologist.

I've been to this was more than a year reading books by Vladimir Levi, who out of boredom accidentally found in the attic in my parents ' house, and then Boris Litvak, who came to me totally by accident, too. Stocks Levi ended, and legs led me to the counter psychological literature.

I didn't occur to you to go to therapy. After all, I'm very smart, recently defended his thesis. It seemed that I should handle herself, she to grasp the meaning and wisdom of life, to begin to engage auto-training, as it was written by Vladimir Levi, and everything has to be adjusted: the work will be easy and not exhausting, I will lose weight and look like Angelina Jolie. I finally will get married and will cease to experience infinite love disappointment. This man will make me happy, we live in a large apartment overlooking the picturesque Avenue and raise two brilliant children.

And it helps?My searches and doubtsit Turned out that psychology is not an easy thing that gives instant results. And me with my impatient charactertable very difficult to wait for the desired changes in life.

Before you start to do, in my head I had the idea that I have come to the specialist who complain about their hard life, he writes me a few effective recipes, and I am very happy I go further.I was scared about long term therapy.

I have as I think many were posenenske what the psychologist will "teach" me. When atoma with distrusted experts, who were offered to solve my problem in 10 sessions. I think I just got lucky or even so: I so sincerely wanted to help the world responded. I found a psychologist that fits me almost immediately.

I came to the first session. The psychologist promised me a quick resolution of the problem. Perhaps the most important for me was that she saw at once that the problems I have not been condescending to me. I felt that I understand.

Dared to continue and after 10 sessions and after 20, I decided that psychology will be an important part of my life, like going to the gym or regular English classes. What helped me to stay in therapy and to wait for positive changes in your life? The professional work of a psychologist and a few important realizations.

 Realization number 1I wanted results "here and now": in 5 consultations to get married, do not be afraid to say what I think directly to Express their needs without fear to engage in conflict situations. Counted months and waited for that happiness that's about to come. Angry and worried, but can't.

Thought I have a severe case and for me the therapy didn't work. However, working in the sphere of science and education, I could not get rid of some painful facts. I do not require a diploma of graduation after six months or a year to understand: to become a specialist, you need a lot of time. So why I decided that a specialist of his soul can be for a few months?

 Realization number 2Psychology and psychotherapy, trainings of personal growth — a very good thing, but themselves are not a panacea. It's just some part of the puzzle of factors that are needed to create change in my life.

For example, I went to the dietician with the request to become slimmer. The nutritionist says I don't eat cakes, because they adversely affect the digestion. I realized that, studied all the biological processes that occur in the body if there cakes, but I eat them anyway. Just lack self discipline. Here nutrition is clearly powerless to help me. Banal truth that every time I forget thinking about your results in psychology.

 

Realization number 3the Psychologist and the client work together – it's a team effort, and it is impossible to falsely accuse a psychologist and his methods for their failures. Real change can only happen in my nichemu more desire. If I don't put any effort, has not made the work of the soul, she did not want to look at the problem from a different point of view and ask a genuine question "And maybe I'm wrong?", why am I ready to quit?

It is very difficult to admit their own mistakes and errors. Could that be the key? As much as I have studied his past and didn't realize the psychological mechanism, but if I truly can't abandon their beliefs, which led me to where I went to a specialist with a huge pile of problems, the therapy doesn't help me. I'm just even more angry at the world, disappointed in the professional, more successful I'd be jealous of my criteria for people.





Why do I need to see a therapist?My results

I would like to answer the questions that I hear every time from their distant from the psychology of friends and relatives: "helping You? Why do you need it? You pay so much money, spend so much time and effort, what's the result?" Their bewilderment is understandable, because for them I was always good, successful girl.

Now I live much happier, I got a new job that allows me to travel and communicate with different interesting people, develop new scenarios of relationship, I'm much calmer and accept criticism, and it does not prevent me to proceed, I feel that the world is diverse and generous.

Even the text you are reading now is a result of working with a psychologist, who taught me how to hear your desires and begin to realize their longstanding dream. My values gradually changed, and it's easier for me to become happy. No idea how with the company of cockroaches and geese, densely inhabited my diet before the start of classes with a psychologist, I was planning to be happiest.

What I learned:

• to give myself psychological assistance in stressful situations
  
  
• to restore their energy resources and to more effectively organize your day
  
  
• to understand what they feel, and what I can do to take care of myself.
  
  
• to understand the motives and reactions of other people that helps me build a more close and trusting relationship or to abandon those that are toxic for me.
  
  
• to protect themselves and to defend their beliefs
  
  
• not to panic from conflicts and setbacks and mistakes
  
  

 

I'm not a professional psychologist, even though I became a much better understand people. For me psychology is a set of skills and tools you need to manage your life, be happy and joyful. I still have a lot of tasks that I really want to solve it. But, of course, I have done a lot for yourself.

I hope that my story will help, those who are going through difficult times, to seek professional help from a psychologist. Will help to answer the question: activity is an addiction or a form of existence in the difficult conditions of the modern world full of stress and unpredictability?

  

Author: Julia Falkovich, especially for

 

P. S. And remember, just changing your mind — together we change the world! ©

Source: Julia Falkovich