When you are betrayed

How to cope with betrayal
 The intention of betrayalBetrayal is one of the toughest losses because no inevitability in it. Is the intentional infliction of harm, neglect is an act and choice of the individual, in contrast to his death or illness. The one who was betrayed believes that betrayal is a conscious act, which can and should be avoided.



The loss of illusionsis Even more difficult to understand that the destruction of illusions is also a loss. Very often we have in mind the idea of how things "should" be. The reality does not always meet our requirements — world people, and we ourselves are often not are what draws our imagination. Sometimes facing reality can be quite painful.

Even if betrayal is only a collapse of our illusions about the other person, it brings real grief — and grief should be lived. Often this is hard to do: everyone says don't worry about it — nothing happened, no one did not betray you, and you agree. The temptation is just to forget about it and move on, don't mourn the loss of illusion, not living it.
 Experiencing griefExperiencing the betrayal as a loss, it is important to understand the process of grief; it needs to know to survive their grief because you were betrayed. Most people who've been betrayed, experiencing a storm of emotions so strong that they are unable to distinguish between them. But if you are betrayed, you need to know what you feel and why you feel that way — to know in order to decide what to do next.

The theory divides grief the process of grief in several stages: shock or denial, bargaining, anger, sadness and acceptance. The stages may overlap and be felt in different ways — and in intensity of emotion, and for the duration of their stay; sometimes a stage goes by so quickly that it is possible not to notice that he was. But the meaning of the theory of grief is that it is impossible to reach the stage of acceptance, not having experienced all the previous ones. Sometimes people get stuck on any one stage, and it prevents them to achieve the goal — to take a loss. Sometimes a man can not live some stage over the years.



Denial - it is a FlightMost people don't want to grieve — seeking to avoid strong emotions. And run away in obsessive actions or in addiction — drugs, alcohol, overeating, games. That, and the other is an escape from emotions, as an obsessive quest for guarantees for the future, constant doubt, dependent behaviour. To erase the person from your life can be a way of denying the situation. It's not all the ways people try to avoid your feelings of grief — but only the most common.
 Anger - the AngerOften people remain at the stage of anger, anger — particularly those who have been betrayed. They are so fixated on the harm caused to them that it is nothing to your loss experience to do, is switch to sadness or sorrow. Sometimes people remain in denial or hung up on forgiveness. They want to solve it fast, refusing to be angry and sad, not wanting to mourn his loss. published

Author: Monica Frank,an excerpt from the article "When you are betrayed"

P. S. And remember, just changing your mind — together we change the world! ©

Source: c-bemol.livejournal.com/92076.html