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2 illusion, which keeps addicted to love
In this article I want to mention two illusions, which keeps addicted to love: the illusion of perfection and the illusion of uniqueness lover for life. And talk about this. In the end I will be cutting and uncompromising.
The illusion of perfectionA woman believes that her lover is perfect. She's in love as if blind. She sees all his flaws. Does not notice that he gets drunk every weekend. He tends to pick on her in a bad mood. That he promises more than makes. That he's late more often than on time. That it is impossible to rely on. And that he is irresponsible. Etc. All these disadvantages is a "reasonable" justification of the category of "He was unlucky with transportation," or "he's head-the bastard does not get promoted," or "he's Got a sick cat, so he got drunk" or "Every weekend something happens, so we don't see each other"etc.
Or, at best, a woman sees his faults, but they seem to be cute little things. Minor things — but not an obstacle for relations. And it happens that the woman strongly believes that with her he will change, become better, improve. In the moment of love we get drunk and can not adequately assess the situation.
Sixty three million seventy four thousand eight hundred sixty eight
Paired with the illusion of perfection turns on the illusion of uniqueness lover for life. Really can't say which of the illusions is primary. Most often the first. But not always.
The illusion of uniquenessIn the case of this illusion the woman believes that this particular man is the only person with whom she will be happy.
With no one else in the whole world she would have such a great relationship with him.
And no more she will not be able to love like him. And no one understands it better than he.
And no one would look at her the same as he.
And anyone close to her will not be as good as him.
Can you think where does this blind faith: whether childhood traumas are felt, whether relationships with parents were not good enough, whether the hormones go crazy.
Option "or maybe it's all fate!"— just an attempt to stay in the children's position.
While the woman believes in all these illusions, it stays on the hook of love addiction and with each passing day it becomes increasingly anxious and unhappy. And peace of mind for her is a distant dream.
Free from love addiction is not so easy. Because you need to see and recognize these illusions, and then transform them.
And this will be followed by disappointment, anger, pain and emptiness. These are the feelings with which the dependent woman is insufferable to meet.
From them she runs into the addiction. That is emotional pain and emptiness she is trying to close loved ones. Or hoped he would fill. But to deal with these feelings should be with a specialist.
But with the illusions you can try to deal with it myself.
If you fall into love addiction, I sympathize with you!
The first thing that you can do yourself is try to get rid of illusions.
Compare their assumptions with reality:
Eighty seven million four hundred nineteen thousand four hundred forty
An illusion, and lie, at first glance sweet, and then – Oh, what a bitter! But the reality is scary in the beginning, then turns out to be very promising. Verified empirically. Real love, not a painful attachment! published
Author: Oksana Butrim
P. S. And remember, only by changing their consumption — together we change the world! ©
Source: yadlyasebya.ru/loveaddiction
The illusion of perfectionA woman believes that her lover is perfect. She's in love as if blind. She sees all his flaws. Does not notice that he gets drunk every weekend. He tends to pick on her in a bad mood. That he promises more than makes. That he's late more often than on time. That it is impossible to rely on. And that he is irresponsible. Etc. All these disadvantages is a "reasonable" justification of the category of "He was unlucky with transportation," or "he's head-the bastard does not get promoted," or "he's Got a sick cat, so he got drunk" or "Every weekend something happens, so we don't see each other"etc.
Or, at best, a woman sees his faults, but they seem to be cute little things. Minor things — but not an obstacle for relations. And it happens that the woman strongly believes that with her he will change, become better, improve. In the moment of love we get drunk and can not adequately assess the situation.
Sixty three million seventy four thousand eight hundred sixty eight
Paired with the illusion of perfection turns on the illusion of uniqueness lover for life. Really can't say which of the illusions is primary. Most often the first. But not always.
The illusion of uniquenessIn the case of this illusion the woman believes that this particular man is the only person with whom she will be happy.
With no one else in the whole world she would have such a great relationship with him.
And no more she will not be able to love like him. And no one understands it better than he.
And no one would look at her the same as he.
And anyone close to her will not be as good as him.
Can you think where does this blind faith: whether childhood traumas are felt, whether relationships with parents were not good enough, whether the hormones go crazy.
Option "or maybe it's all fate!"— just an attempt to stay in the children's position.
While the woman believes in all these illusions, it stays on the hook of love addiction and with each passing day it becomes increasingly anxious and unhappy. And peace of mind for her is a distant dream.
Free from love addiction is not so easy. Because you need to see and recognize these illusions, and then transform them.
And this will be followed by disappointment, anger, pain and emptiness. These are the feelings with which the dependent woman is insufferable to meet.
From them she runs into the addiction. That is emotional pain and emptiness she is trying to close loved ones. Or hoped he would fill. But to deal with these feelings should be with a specialist.
But with the illusions you can try to deal with it myself.
If you fall into love addiction, I sympathize with you!
The first thing that you can do yourself is try to get rid of illusions.
Compare their assumptions with reality:
- How many cats has he had to get sick to get drunk every weekend?
- Why do you transport the luck, and he chronically can't?
- Ask superiors at previous jobs as well prevent him from a promotion like this?
- On what basis do you consider it the best option for you?
- And can you still believe in predestination?
Eighty seven million four hundred nineteen thousand four hundred forty
An illusion, and lie, at first glance sweet, and then – Oh, what a bitter! But the reality is scary in the beginning, then turns out to be very promising. Verified empirically. Real love, not a painful attachment! published
Author: Oksana Butrim
P. S. And remember, only by changing their consumption — together we change the world! ©
Source: yadlyasebya.ru/loveaddiction
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