One day the master asked his disciples: — was sitting In a tree three birds, one of them decided to fly away. How many birds were sitting on the branch? A said, Two! — Anything similar, — said the master, three! Deciding to fly is not to fly. It's an easy decision, and should be the actions after the decision. So – the decision and action.
Imagine a hypothetical situation – the client gets an appointment from the therapist's support, and takes some your unique decision about how to proceed in the future.
Time passes, the positive charge melts every day and the time "B" is assigned to the transition to the new action, does not come and does not come... In the end, returning a sinusoid to the beginning of the countdown, the customer comes the next consultation upset and may even make a claim – say I already understood everything, why nothing has changed? Or even – get a new "magic pendel" and withdraw into the circle like the proverbial Ouroboros. But no improvement. The decision gives hope, and the action causes fear.
The solution inside it, about him we can say or not say. This is something that a person has influence and what can control. The decision can give a sense of power over the situation.
But the action – there is a completely different story. Usually one way or another directed outward, even if it refers to changing some nuances of their own behavior. It may be (and likely is) seen by others, perhaps even cause a reaction. Man can not affect the reaction of others, this situation he has no control.
Assuming certain consequences of the theory of probability, he should act on your own risk. But proceed at your own risk – it's... scary! And risky!It turns out that to make a decision and Pat myself on the back for it made, but further actions in this direction – only project.
Maybe even such a situation – people can be "hooked" for temporary relief from these solutions, like a drug. Such people can visit a variety of courses from the "personal growth" to "leadership" solely for the sake of this feeling – "I have decided that from tomorrow everything will be different!"
In fact, everything is the same, but the whole evening a person will spend in happy euphoria from the realization of positive "changes" in his life. And when the euphoria wears off – will go look for new courses, new therapist and new drug. The illusion of action creates a surrogate of improved quality of life. The Ouroboros effect is compounded with each turn of events.
To help such a client, the therapist is necessary to notice this relationship and to assist and support given to this problem. Here and work with fears and confidence, and even, as in the classic stages of dealing with addiction, the recognition of the existence of such problems. One can imagine the scheme: the decision -> action -> evaluation result.
In this case, the Central element drops out, but the man is sincerely waiting for the onset of the third stage. And he needs to understand that he is not coming because he took not the right solution, because one solution is not enough. We still have to let go of your tail and start moving forward.
One man dreamed of winning the lottery. Every day he came into the temple, knelt and asked God: — Lord, help me win the lottery!A month passed, the second... One man, as usual, came to the temple, knelt and began to pray: — Lord, give me win the lottery! Because others benefit. What are you worth?!Suddenly above his head came the voice of God: — Yes buy did you finally lottery ticket! published
Author: Tatiana Golovanova
Itching: HOW your skin betrays your emotionsRESENTMENT — Packed ANGER