What about when your child make comments on the street Bashny.Net

Yesterday we went out with my son to the market with running bikes. The son goes, I go. All was well, but then new pants rubbed his son's ass. Half way he threw the bike on the road and said that more can not go. Exactly. Okay, let's go on foot – No. Then let's go home – No. By bus – No. Back. Home. By bus – No.Started by classical hysteria, which has become tougher, because I could not resist and raised her voice. To enable active listening I was able only after 20 minutes. All this time, while we waited for the bus and rode 4 stops to the house, son was screaming and crying, pounding me, refused to cuddle and didn't want to listen.


For ten minutes we waited for the bus at the bus stop. Another 5 went home. Quite a bit. But during this time my son and I listened to everything possible to hear from older people who met with a screaming, frustrated and raging child. Unfortunately, I don't know how to get away from the stereotype of the "grandmothers" who are trying to educate other people's children. It's true. Elderly people, especially women, communicate with young moms and babies more often than others.At the bus stop my son asked the grandmother a question: "who is This we be crying?". Received from the child response: "Go away, I don't want to talk to you". He waved a hand at her and turned away. I quietly told him that the grandmother might be hurt to hear that and it is better not to answer. And my grandmother came to me: "Why do you have such a petulant child, mommy? You know, children need to grow in kindness. You let him be mad. Of these then grow fascists". After a few minutes she he offered his son a chocolate bar. I refused. After another couple of minutes she put me in a jacket pocket a handful of candy. "I do not give my child sugar," I said. "Oh, my my", was horrified grandmother. The bus also the old woman took his son by the shoulder and she began to scold: "Oh, you naughty, not so naughty". The child even more and began to cry. It stopped my phrase "Please don't make comments to my child, we'll see". A few minutes later I joined another elderly woman with the words "Boy, cry very ugly". The doors opened at our stop and we got out. We immediately jumped a new grandmother and was given the classics: "I will pick you up, if you're mom won't listen." The son became worried and went to a new round of hysteria. Then I broke down and cried, "Depart from my child, I will not give it". Like, honestly, to answer rougher. But, with the example of my child just grow a fascist, so I didn't. My son and I sat at the bus stop to calm down and make peace. He stopped crying, was allowed to take yourself in hand, we began to hug, I'm finally able to say everything that needed to be said at the beginning: "are You upset that the new pants are uncomfortable to ride. You really wanted to get to the market on my bike, and had to return home. You got mad because grandma made you comments. You're upset that I yelled at you". The baby calmed down — I am too. At this moment, to stop a woman came up and irritably said, "Mother, though you swipe-then get yourself and the child megabiodiverse and his snot in all directions scattered". I know that this story can ogresti in full -they say that she is guilty. "Don't go outside with a crying baby. We need to get him to a neurologist. Baby tantrums are unacceptable and they need to be tough to stop. Grandmothers have the right to intervene, they are wiser and have a better understanding of children." And so on and so forth. A whole generation used to educate other people's children, because "all children in common." You can just laugh, we can agree that I'm offended, because complexes or thinks their child is the navel of the earth, a lot of things. But it's very, very important and serious thing, trespassing. Disrespect, lack of understanding of where your boundaries end and begin on other people's boundaries.

 Children make this problem clear. For example, the next time I wear comfortable pants or we'll go to the market with a stroller. But hysteria can happen for any reason. Because 2-4 years is the age of maturation of the psyche. Hysteria is one of the expressions of this process. The child wants something, encounters an obstacle and viplachivat stress that he is the obstacle can not be overcome. I'm not saying you need to endorse the screaming, the fighting and manipulation by the child in the hope of influencing parents and get what he wants. No, this is unacceptable. When my son fights – I immediately stop him and firmly explain that this cannot be done, because it hurts. When he bothers to talk on the phone, interrupts, wakes screaming babies and their alleged behavior violates the boundaries of others – I stop him and explain why not to do it. But at the peak of hysteria – is impossible to explain. Hysteria can only wait it out. And to discuss it with the child and with others – is in a relaxed condition. So I don't want to hear from strangers on the street phrase is "cry ugly, you're a boy" and "what a naughty boy", said to the crying child. Yes, I allow him to experience different feelings (anger, resentment, and sadness) and help him find those feelings adequate expression.


Yes, we can't always find out the resentment in a form that would suit others. Yes, we try, we learn, we live. Whenever in such a situation, I answer as necessary. Most of all – "we'll manage, thank you" or "please don't make comments to my child" or "he's not naughty, he's not slept and tired." Someone advised to talk tough – "do you Have children? Here they nurture". Someone said, better to remain silent and do not respond to the attempts of strangers to interfere. I have no single answer. There is a conditional list of answers, which maybe will help out someone at the event:

Thanks, we have everything under control.

Please don't make comments about my child.

I'm sorry, he didn't like strangers.

The baby is just hungry / wants to sleep / hit / feeling bad.

Thanks for the advice, all is well.

Thank you, it is not necessary to treat it without my permission.

Thank you, we don't need help.

Sorry, we have not decided to discuss the child's behavior with other people

You can not answer started a conversation with the person, and convey voting rights to the child (if he already speaks well) and directly on a course to teach him to be responsible for themselves, like so:

Son, you can answer – I'm not in the mood.

Baby, tell mom I will not give it.

Tell me the answer is no, so I obey.

Can you answer – do not do to me, please.

Tell me that you're just tired...

If the child is in hysterics and can neither listen to you nor to answer to others, leave it as is. If possible, as soon as possible leave the scene, breathe deeply, calm yourself and reassure the child. You will then be able to discuss it with him and for example say,"Son, did you other people's comments. You were very frustrating, disappointing, terrible and bad. You were confused and didn't know what to say. You know, unfortunately, make you comments and to cling to – it was rude on their part. Perhaps they need someone to talk to and they feel lonely so they try to give advice." I'm sure you will choose for your child the most suitable in each case words. What do you do when strangers make comments to you or your child in relation to his behavior? What you are saying or not saying? I believe that it is necessary to fight back or not respond at all? Go away or stay? published Author: by Maria Rozhkova And P. S. remember, only by changing their consumption — together we change the world! ©

Source: ponaroshku.ru/blog/nelzya-kapriznichat-kak-byt-kogda-delayut-zamechaniya-na-ulitse/