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If a man methodically and away from you all friends — SAVE!
Neglect one of the cruelest forms of psychological violence.
First, it is difficult to recognize, secondly, neglect there is only sufficient isolation of the victim, so wait for assistance nowhere.
In fact, neglect is a latent aggression, neglecter looks absolutely sincere and to justify his absolutely sincere. Abuser sure that care only about their own comfort and the satisfaction of their own needs and do it at the expense of others.
Unfortunately, as practice shows, the majority of men practice neglect in relation to their partners and friends, not bringing it to the extreme, but feeding your self-esteem and reveling in the feeling of power over the woman. Nothing to do with this care or tenderness neglect has not.
Remember, you probably have heard from your husband or boyfriend absolutely sincere excuse: “I didn't know...”, “I forgot...”, “I don't understand...” in a situation when you were extremely vulnerable and dependent on him, for example, sick, hungry or without money. Direct evidence of the fault, so that abuser very easy to evade responsibility and the need to answer for their behavior. Well, in fact, forgotten, spun around at work, and there is still the mother called, a friend asked for a ride to the airport... And her eyes are so honest-honest.
One of the most striking manifestations of neglect – deprivation of food. In this case, the man gradually commanded the woman, deciding who, when and what will have what will be bought in the store and what you need and what is not. Then begin to sound the phrase: “we don't need This”, “If you don't want – so not hungry,” “It's too expensive” (concerning even the most basic goods), “British scientists have proved that this unhealthy food and that vitamins is also harmful” “we Have not accepted it”, “I'm sick from your food”, “I bought you something you love” and so on.
Very often neglect comes at a time when a woman is in holiday on care of the child. Then you don't have to let her go to the doctors (“You're healthy, why do you”), not to buy drugs (“I forgot”), not to give women respite from the daily household chores (“I'm busy, can't help you”), not to take care of her health, for example, demanding the immediate proximity to your episiotomy or cesarean section when sex can cause a woman irreparable harm.
It should be noted that one of the clearest signs of neglect – focused systematic deprivation of women of all social ties and resources. Husband asked to be transferred to lighter work, closer to home, so she could spend more time with the family and he, the beloved and away from all her friends, often using the most heinous methods of blackmail, and even transporting to another city, justifying this step with their own interests and perspectives.
Then may follow the imaginary transfer of the woman of control and power: “I give to my wife the entire salary!” but really man in this case is the manipulator, because a woman has taken on a huge amount of responsibility, which it has to carry, not to hurt the family. All the best to the children and husband, often to the detriment of herself. Women, on whose shoulders the excessive control on the part of everything that concerns family, partner, children often do not understand the origin of chronic fatigue (“I'm so tired” – but it is not clear what tired). So, control and responsibility – spends online, burn it. In the case of women, that responsibility and control gives no power, it is the responsibility of the servant, not the head.
The worst – neglect almost impossible to discern from the outside. Caring husband – to enable not to work, stay at home, however, something a friend is often sick, but with this man of course quickly goes on the amendment. Abuser outsiders never shows his true face, and often even trying to look caring and concerned.
However, it should be remembered that in the worst cases, neglect ends with the death of the victim, neglecter looks distraught widower, but a couple of years finds a new victim and the story goes to a new level.
How to recognize neglecter
Envy
It is necessary to watch, to observe, whether a person is able to sincerely rejoice in others ' achievements? Able to draw strength from this joy or brings him satisfaction only “bad neighbor”?
Family history
If possible, you need to find out how things are with the family of the suspect in neglecta. If there are female problems, strange beyond logic relations or fanatical immersion in religion or the occult, it is suspicious.
Indifference
Whether a person is able to sincerely sympathize, to empathize with others ' pain, or he remains extremely indifferent to the suffering of others? Many men explain their nonchalance in this matter masculinity, but nothing courageous indifference to the suffering there. In this case, it's the same violence.
Suspicion
For example: “a Group of people standing on the shore, the guide says: here is a stormy sea that once drowned the old woman”. Abuser says: “the old Lady died because her family wanted the inheritance.” As the saying goes, in every joke there is a joke share. Suspicion is schizo-light, seeing that, got to go.
Also interesting: Polite violence: I'm more IMPORTANT than YOU
Aggression and boundaries: 3 criteria that distinguish violence from aggression
How to be saved?
Author: Ekaterina Kuzmina
Source: esolang.com/articles/relationship-articles/manipulyatcii/neglekt-ne-pet-ne-bet-ne-gulyaet-pochemu-zhe-tebe-ploho.html
First, it is difficult to recognize, secondly, neglect there is only sufficient isolation of the victim, so wait for assistance nowhere.
In fact, neglect is a latent aggression, neglecter looks absolutely sincere and to justify his absolutely sincere. Abuser sure that care only about their own comfort and the satisfaction of their own needs and do it at the expense of others.
Unfortunately, as practice shows, the majority of men practice neglect in relation to their partners and friends, not bringing it to the extreme, but feeding your self-esteem and reveling in the feeling of power over the woman. Nothing to do with this care or tenderness neglect has not.
Remember, you probably have heard from your husband or boyfriend absolutely sincere excuse: “I didn't know...”, “I forgot...”, “I don't understand...” in a situation when you were extremely vulnerable and dependent on him, for example, sick, hungry or without money. Direct evidence of the fault, so that abuser very easy to evade responsibility and the need to answer for their behavior. Well, in fact, forgotten, spun around at work, and there is still the mother called, a friend asked for a ride to the airport... And her eyes are so honest-honest.
One of the most striking manifestations of neglect – deprivation of food. In this case, the man gradually commanded the woman, deciding who, when and what will have what will be bought in the store and what you need and what is not. Then begin to sound the phrase: “we don't need This”, “If you don't want – so not hungry,” “It's too expensive” (concerning even the most basic goods), “British scientists have proved that this unhealthy food and that vitamins is also harmful” “we Have not accepted it”, “I'm sick from your food”, “I bought you something you love” and so on.
Very often neglect comes at a time when a woman is in holiday on care of the child. Then you don't have to let her go to the doctors (“You're healthy, why do you”), not to buy drugs (“I forgot”), not to give women respite from the daily household chores (“I'm busy, can't help you”), not to take care of her health, for example, demanding the immediate proximity to your episiotomy or cesarean section when sex can cause a woman irreparable harm.
It should be noted that one of the clearest signs of neglect – focused systematic deprivation of women of all social ties and resources. Husband asked to be transferred to lighter work, closer to home, so she could spend more time with the family and he, the beloved and away from all her friends, often using the most heinous methods of blackmail, and even transporting to another city, justifying this step with their own interests and perspectives.
Then may follow the imaginary transfer of the woman of control and power: “I give to my wife the entire salary!” but really man in this case is the manipulator, because a woman has taken on a huge amount of responsibility, which it has to carry, not to hurt the family. All the best to the children and husband, often to the detriment of herself. Women, on whose shoulders the excessive control on the part of everything that concerns family, partner, children often do not understand the origin of chronic fatigue (“I'm so tired” – but it is not clear what tired). So, control and responsibility – spends online, burn it. In the case of women, that responsibility and control gives no power, it is the responsibility of the servant, not the head.
The worst – neglect almost impossible to discern from the outside. Caring husband – to enable not to work, stay at home, however, something a friend is often sick, but with this man of course quickly goes on the amendment. Abuser outsiders never shows his true face, and often even trying to look caring and concerned.
However, it should be remembered that in the worst cases, neglect ends with the death of the victim, neglecter looks distraught widower, but a couple of years finds a new victim and the story goes to a new level.
How to recognize neglecter
Envy
It is necessary to watch, to observe, whether a person is able to sincerely rejoice in others ' achievements? Able to draw strength from this joy or brings him satisfaction only “bad neighbor”?
Family history
If possible, you need to find out how things are with the family of the suspect in neglecta. If there are female problems, strange beyond logic relations or fanatical immersion in religion or the occult, it is suspicious.
Indifference
Whether a person is able to sincerely sympathize, to empathize with others ' pain, or he remains extremely indifferent to the suffering of others? Many men explain their nonchalance in this matter masculinity, but nothing courageous indifference to the suffering there. In this case, it's the same violence.
Suspicion
For example: “a Group of people standing on the shore, the guide says: here is a stormy sea that once drowned the old woman”. Abuser says: “the old Lady died because her family wanted the inheritance.” As the saying goes, in every joke there is a joke share. Suspicion is schizo-light, seeing that, got to go.
Also interesting: Polite violence: I'm more IMPORTANT than YOU
Aggression and boundaries: 3 criteria that distinguish violence from aggression
How to be saved?
- If you know that the man methodically and gradually and away from you all friends and girlfriends, suppresses communication with family and parents, and insists on your complete isolation from the world, SAVE yourself.
- Under any sauce do not stop communication with parents and closest friends. May they always be aware of your business plans and family environments.
- If you understand that from time to time repeats the situation in which a man using your vulnerability and dependence, to hurt you, – SAVE yourself.
- Remember that you're one, and you have a life too. Your main task is to live and be healthy and happy. By and large, to take care of you except yourself no one else. If you feel that makes you uncomfortable, or see a direct threat to their mental and physical health – for your life.published
Author: Ekaterina Kuzmina
Source: esolang.com/articles/relationship-articles/manipulyatcii/neglekt-ne-pet-ne-bet-ne-gulyaet-pochemu-zhe-tebe-ploho.html
