Emotional competence is the ability to recognize the quality of their feelings in the moment you make them feel.
This is one of the most useful habits, understanding of their behavior and rational choice of their reactions.
This is a very important property of any person, helping in all aspects of our lives. In order to become emotionally competent, you need to know:
— there are emotions, feelings and sensations – they are separated;
— there are emotions, and there are other people and confuse them in any case not worth it.
In order to become emotionally competent, you should be able to:
— identify your emotions;
— to determine the source of your emotions;
— to choose the most appropriate type of response and further action;
— to do all this in the present moment.
This means that before you respond or just to think about something, you have to realize what your part in the moment directs you or tells you a reaction. So how to react to trouble?
Wise people know that any moments in life should be treated consciously, not automatically. Here is a simple formula of how it works: Event — Reaction — Response — Action = Result
Some people, before you respond to an event or “stimulus”, think of it, what result they want to?
Others, on the contrary – at first automatically react, creating secondary emotional wave and receiving not the result we wanted, constantly complaining and accusing someone. Emotional competence and the correct response is a valuable habit for a second and ask yourself: what result do I want in this situation?
- Successful people, knowing about their 100% responsibility, always do so.
- Losers prefer to avoid responsibility, shifting it on others or circumstances.
Of course, in this sense, it is impossible to control everything, but you most of all determine what your life is and who controls it: you or the primitive part of your brain?
You must clearly understand that in the moment when you automatically react negatively to someone, you give him your energy and control. At this point it controls your life. Do you need it? All you need to control is your reactions to events.
This is the essence of emotional competence.
Read the other day such a simple story.
"He lived himself a grandfather. Somehow came to him a neighbor yelled at him, insulted for no reason, no reason at all. Grandfather looked at him and said, "What bad to you, Mitrich?". And that's all. As the air went out of the neighbor. And went mental conversation about the issues... And could answer and mud splash...".
In the context of this topic I want to mention another side of it. Your automatic reaction may be subject to manipulation and influence those interested to benefit from our tendency to react automatically.
Among us there are many who deliberately mimics the triggering factors and achieves the desired unconscious reactions of our brain. Advertising, savvy negotiators, sellers, policymakers in the “mating season” elections, newsletters, various promotions, requests, etc. Only one key word at the right time can cause the required manipulator is the automatic reaction and the result. Be careful. Remember, the less in your life automatic reactions, the more fully realized and more successful your life.
Always stay one step ahead of your automatic reactions and your actions and the results will be correct.
Ask yourself: what are my responses and reactions gave these results?
Man is not isolated from the outside world, and live closely with him. Therefore, your Success depends on the quality of your thoughts and emotions.
The law of purity of thoughts suggests that for realization of your aspirations, your thoughts about yourself, others and the world around you needs to be clean. Any negative thoughts hinder your way to Success.
For anybody not a secret that in order to be healthy, happy and successful, you need to think positive and to always remain optimistic. However, the news we watch and hear movies, talk shows and so on – most of them negative. Colleagues spoil the mood, even family and friends can be annoying and can influence us in a "toxic" effect.
Anyone familiar with the phrase, “well, just evil is not enough...”. How in such conditions to focus on the positive and find reasons for optimism? Your task, if you want to live happily, to begin to consciously get rid of negative emotions and finding sources of positivity
. To you all this, “good enough.”
There is the concept of "hygiene of emotion". It is liberation from poisoning our minds "toxins": fear, loneliness, despair, envy and condemnation.
Instead, you must be filled with the light feelings: love, joy, gratitude, optimism.
The first step to liberation from the bondage of negative emotions, according to the writer Debbie Ford is to determine which of your "toxic" emotions bothers you and does not experience happiness to the full.
Next, you need to understand this emotion – where it comes from, how it affects your life.
Very soon you will feel the energy, confidence and enthusiasm fill you again.
Negative emotions cannot be ignored, they need to realize
all the more impossible to suppress alcohol, or anything else pohlesche. Only by understanding their causal relationships, you will be able to get rid of them.
Furthermore, you must understand that your bad mood shows that on the eve of you allow bad thoughts. For example, a negative scenario of future events, current conflicts, recent losses.
In the future, as soon as you catch yourself, think about what positive thoughts could you change negative and destructive.
Also interesting: Our thoughts determine health Your life depends on Your thoughts
Remember: when you watch your emotional state, reactions to events when you are positive, you radiate optimism, and it attracts to you positive and successful people who also want to communicate with positive people
Energy expended on internal conflict, it is impossible to direct on external achievements.
Also, remember that your negative emotions have a direct impact on your health
Author: Nikolay Bulgakov
P. S. And remember, just changing your mind — together we change the world! ©