How to gracefully say "NO"

Not many of us can say "no" to the requests of different people. First and foremost, because we are afraid to feel awkward. The idea to do not what is expected of us around, causing great discomfort. In fact, this fear is greatly exaggerated, and people admire those who know how to say "no".


 

Usually we say "Yes" and then suffer for days and months instead of having to say "no" and feel uncomfortable in just a few minutes. You need to learn to say "no" to everything that doesn't matter to you, but to do it gracefully. To learn how to give, follow a few principles. These principles are listed in the book Greg Mackeon "Essentialism. The path to simplicity":

Principle 1. Separate your decision from a relationship with a man: to say no, we refuse, no other person, and the idea of him.

Principle 2. Invoke the aid of eloquence: it is not necessary to use the word "no" in denial. We can say, for example: "I'm Afraid things won't let me do it." Psychologists believe that the best failure – failure in Japanese: "Yes, and so....". You don't tell the customer or partner "no", you don't say "but". You accept his offer and put a condition that will make the opponent's offer is beneficial for you. If he goes, you will always win. If not – then it's "no" say not you, but your opponent himself.

Principle 3. Focus on how to offer a compromise. Don't forget that the person who made the proposal, also in varying degrees primarily pursues its own interests, not yours.





Principle 4. Remember that in any case decisive "no" is more polite than a noncommittal "Yes."

Phrase that will gracefully exit unnecessary dispute:

There are times when you are trying to argue on an issue that for you is unimportant, uninteresting, takes time or just useless.

So as not to seem discourteous and to maintain good relations with the opponent, the author of the book "the Art of controversy" Jonathan herring proposes to use the following phrases will help complete the conversation: "we can discuss It till the morning", "This is a very difficult question for a short discussion." And the most elegant option of avoiding unnecessary dispute: – "I have Recently read on this subject a very interesting article. I'll send it to you by email".

 

How to say "no" to unnecessary obligations

 

Many of us inherent psychological phenomenon called propensity to sunk costs. It is this type of behavior, when we invest time and energy in unprofitable project only due to the fact that the original cost it is already impossible to return. For example, we do not leave any film at the cinema, because the money for the ticket, no one will return, or invest new money in protracted repairs. Such a vicious circle very hard to break.

In order not to fall into the trap of obligation, do not give the effect of ownership (i.e., the tendency to rate too high already owned things) and get rid of the fear of appearing wasteful. Admit your mistake. In the future don't try to please everyone: don't settle for just anything idelete a pause, before to say something.

Disclaimer – a rather difficult task, coupled with conflicts of interests. Much easier initially promised nothing. Learn to abandon commitments so that others respect you for the dedication and discipline. published

 

P. S. And remember, just changing your mind — together we change the world! ©

Source: www.b17.ru/blog/50104/