Look at how children talk about personal space Bashny.Net

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Border is subject to many complex and unexplored. To allow or disallow yourself to someone and how close it is sometimes difficult to decide, especially if this is almost not discussed in the childhood. To bring a little clarity to this question,Site publishes an article by Inna Titova — mom whose child was set on the simple picture i brought from school.



The amazing thing, the value of which often can't explain adults, — personal space. The subject is painful because the standard educational system is not enough for her deals, and because we don't really know how to talk about this with children and even how to behave. However, in American schools the teachers found a solution to this intricate problem: in a class dedicated to personal space (the basics of sexual education), children are given a simple diagram with a brief explanatory text for parents. The picture painted in the classroom and is accompanied by a detailed speaking situations that you may encounter in life.

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This visual manual is designed for children 5-10 years. It is called "circles of relationships" — circles, circles of relationships and can help to prevent sexual harassment, physical and psychological abuse simply because the child will understand that there is something wrong.

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So purple first and most important circle is ourselves. Our body belongs to us and only we can decide who can to us to be close, to touch. And nobody should do it without permission. If anyone from any other environment causes us discomfort (it does not matter — the grandfather sat on a lap, or a friend of mother's demands to "kiss your aunt on the cheek"), we should not hesitate to say this — and say "no", "stop".





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It's the circle of our family and those we love. Respect, trust and love from these signs we define who belongs to this circle who are closest to us. But you need to remember that even with those whom we love, we must not neglect your personal space and also needs to respect the space of our loved ones.





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It is "far away hug". Our circle of friends and those with whom we like to communicate. Friendship is very important and includes many things. For example, cooperative games, conversations, fun and sometimes a friendly hug. Friendship is always based on trust and respect. And manifestations, such as hugs, must be based on mutual consent. It is important to understand that not all children in the class can behave as your friends. And parents should talk with children by what criteria do we define friends and in turn, how we must behave towards them.





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Circle of friends ("circle wave", that is, those to whom we are waving their hands at the meeting who is familiar surface and not too close). It can be children on the school bus, in the yard, sports team, this can be a friends parents. Discuss with the child the social norms, different types of friends and also safety rules. The difference between friends and mere acquaintances. The distance in the relationship that they and we have to respect.





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These people can help us when we need it, but they are not our friends. Teachers, educators, police officers, firefighters, nurses and doctors. Discuss with your child the situations in which those who seek assistance. It must be stressed that these people have markings, uniform, ID card and that they help in case of danger.





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We don't know these people (even if they say they know us, it's not important.) Not all strangers are bad, but because we are strangers, we don't know, a bad person in front of us or good. We don't trust strangers. We don't talk with them, not telling anything about yourself or loved ones. Don't answer questions. Never, never go with them anywhere and not get in the car. We don't take candy, don't go "search dog" and help to find the street, because adults should never ask for help from those who are younger and weaker than them.





This is a short. With the kids paint these circles, speak different situations, give guess how to act in each case. And a hundred times the saying: if you're uncomfortable with, you have to say «AVAST», «No.". If someone behaves incorrectly in your opinion, you have to tell other adults — parents, teachers. No one can touch you without your consent. (You also have no right to invade someone else's personal space without permission). And if you didn't understand the first time, you have to repeat and repeat until you do not hear while you will not understand and will not help. You don't have to look for a solution yourself, you don't have to hide, you don't have to be ashamed of. Don't be afraid to speak. Don't be afraid to ask.

Photos on the preview Leonid Khan
Author Inna Titova


See also
7 ways to talk with your child so that he understood the first time
The child should not to educate, and to raise


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