Many parents, especially young mothers, are worried about whether they raise their children if they don't do any errors, as if written somewhere or there is a representation of an ideal, "proper" upbringing.
Whether it really is the ideal, the "right" education? Probably not, as each child is unique and parenting each child differently, but mistakes parents often do the same.
On advice from the psychologist Marina and Alex. They have a 4-year-old son Sasha. Marina says of him: he's not doing what she asks the first time on the walk often deals with older children and maybe even fight back if it hurt, without permission to take any toy around the sandbox and start playing, it's easy to go in the direction where more interested, keenly interested in toys in new places, and sometimes to take them, again without permission.
The mom and the guy wants the child to be obedient, I asked all of the time resolution did not fight and did not give himself for the change, all went toe the line tight.
At the next consultation Marina and Alex come with Sasha, and I see a fun, very inquisitive and cheerful child who is very actively interested in all that is around and does not hide his interest. What is the error education of the
you ask is that Marina makes for her child requirements that do not correspond to their age. How can a child of 4 years to keep his curiosity and cognitive demand, and not to climb in all places, and to sit straight on a chair and just look around?
In fact, curiosity is the quality on the basis of which develops cognitive activity
takes place in school, and if now to suppress children's curiosity, not to support it, by the time of schooling, it will definitely fade away, and the child will have to be persuaded to go to school.How would you feel if all day you will from a loved one only to hear not?
This next mistake of education that parents and including our heroes.
When parents are very much concerned about rules of conduct and constantly doing child observations, oblivious to the fact that it very much destroys relationships. He needs to deliver pleasure and joy, then they can develop, then the child loves and trusts the parent, and is willing to listen to him.
I.e. in education, it is important to strike a balance between the introduction rules and requirements of the parents and receiving pleasure from intercourse, from the fact that you have such a great kid, and he has these favorite parents. That communicating pleasure: sharing the joy of riding a roller coaster, eating cakes, watching funny cartoons and a bunch of other interesting things.
We adults often forget that, thinking about the "right" activities for a child that he needs to go to College, and we are missing the most important thing — the joy of being together.
Next, very common mistake of education is that children are born as if already brought up
, what they as adults, only a small growth, respectively, should all be able to understand. Many parents have no idea that the emotional sphere of the child is also evolving and changing with the child, and the task of parents to accompany and help the child in this development.
So Marina and Alex often ignored the emotional state of Sasha, and hence did not help him to understand what he's feeling, and could not help him learn to control his emotions.Initially, the child does not know what he is experiencing joy or sadness inside him that makes him cry or smile.
Only the adult calling the child his feelings, can help to learn to understand what it is.
On the adult teaches the child how to cope with different emotions: you're sad, you can tell mom what happened or when daddy will come, he will help you to find a way out, or eat tasty ice cream, and it will become fun.
Usually the adults do not notice how they teach the child to cope with their feelings. But there are times when parents ignore the child's feelings, as if they were not, then the child feels confusion and helplessness, and don't learn to manage them.
Let go of the son in man's world! The men's education for menThese words— the worst curse a parent
Such a child may fight with the children in the kindergarten, make someone hurt or offend someone, as he just doesn't know how else to cope with his anger, and he saw that in response to his anger parents were hurting him and not taught him to control his feelings.
Errors in the upbringing, of course, can be much more, in every family they have their own and special for us to see - try to remember myself as a child and look at what's happening is his eyes
. And I'm sure that your parental intuition will tell you the true solution of the problem.published
Author: Natalie Frid
P. S. And remember, only by changing their consumption — together we change the world! ©