27 of the rules of a gentleman of the XIX century

Surprisingly, more than 100 years of etiquette is virtually unchanged.
The concept of the word "gentleman" has changed and evolved over time, having passed a way from the designation of the representative of the high class to just well educated, balanced and calm person, to adhere to certain rules of conduct. And, of course, the main feature of a gentleman is not clothes and a hat, and a rigorous commitment to the principles of the so-called "code of a gentleman".


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We want to introduce you to the basic rules of communication for the gentlemen who first published in 1875 in A Gentleman's Guide to Etiquette author Cecil B. Hartley.
And almost all the rules of conduct of a gentleman is applicable now. Let us behave like educated people.

*The height of bad manners is a distraction during a conversation at his watch, the phone or notebook. Even if you're tired and you're bored, don't show it.

*Never interrupt the one who speaks. Even a simple clarification of incorrect dates can be awkward if you were never asked. Worse end for a man of his thought, or to rush him in any way. Listen to the end of the anecdote or story, even you are already familiar.

*Never attempt to prove their case by raising the voice, arrogance or derogatory treatment. Be always amiable and Frank, free from any dictatorship.

*Never, if, of course, did not ask you to do, do not talk about your own business or profession in society. Generally less pay attention to his person.

*A gentleman, with real intelligence and culture tend to be modest. He can feel while in ordinary society that intellectually he is above those around him, but he will not seek to show his superiority over them. He will not seek to raise issues in which the interlocutors do not possess the relevant knowledge. Everything he says, always marked by courtesy and respect to the feelings and opinions of others.

*No less important than the ability to speak well, the ability to listen. It makes a person a great conversationalist and distinguishes man from a good society.
Never listen to a conversation between two persons that is not designed for you. If they are so close that you can't hear them, you can, observing the proprieties, simply go to another place.

*Try to speak as possible, brief and to the point. Avoid prolonged distractions and not related to the subject comments.

*If you take heed to flattery, you must also open the gates of stupidity and excessive conceit.

*Even if you are sure that your opponent is totally wrong, keep the discussion calm, to Express arguments and counter-arguments, not ad hominem attacks. If you see that the other person is adamant in his error, then deftly turn the conversation to another subject, leaving him the opportunity to save face, and you avoid anger and irritation.

*Have, if you want persistent political beliefs. But not to emphasize them in any case and, in any case, do not force other people to agree with you. Calmly listen to other opinions and not get stuck in a fierce debate. Let your partner think that you are a bad politician, but not give him a reason to doubt that you are a gentleman.
Speaking of friends, do not compare them with each other. Talking about the merits of each, but don't try to strengthen the virtues of one by contrasting the vices of the other.

*Avoid in conversation of any topics that can injure the absent. A gentleman would never slander or listen to slander.

*Even witty man becomes tedious and ill-mannered when he tries to absorb the attention of the company.

*Avoid too frequent use of quotes and thoughts of great. As a seasoning for food, they can decorate on a conversation, but an excessive amount spoils the dish.

*Avoid pedantry. Is it not a sign of intelligence, and stupidity.
Speak their language correctly, at the same time don't be too a big supporter of the well-formedness of phrases.

*Never make comments if others make mistakes in his speech. Note in word or other action to such errors of the interlocutor is a sign of bad manners.

*If you are an expert or a scientist, avoid using technical terms. It is a bad taste, because many of them do not understand. If, however, you accidentally used such a word or phrase, it's a bigger mistake to rush to explain its meaning. No one will thank you for such a recognition of their ignorance.

*Never try to play in the company of the role of the jester, because very quickly you will gain the reputation of "the funny man" for parties. This role is not valid for a true gentleman. Strive to ensure that your sides laughing with you but not over you.

*Avoid bragging. To talk about their money, relationships, opportunities is a very bad taste. Similarly, you can not be proud of your intimacy with distinguished people, even if it is the place to be. Repeated emphasis on "my friend, Governor X", or "my close friend, the President of Y" is pompous and unacceptable.

*Do not try to give your image an excessive depth and sophistication, contemptuously rejecting the fun conversations, jokes and entertainment. Try to act in accordance with the society in which you are, if not inconsistent with other rules of a gentleman.

*Is totally gross, indecent and stupid insert in my speech quotes, expressions and terms in a foreign language.

*If you feel that getting angry in a conversation, either turn to another topic or shut up. Can you say in the heat of passion the words you would never use in a calm state of mind, and then you will bitterly repent.

*"Never speak of rope in the presence of a person, a relative who was hung" is a crude, but true, proverb. Carefully avoid topics that might be too personal for a friend, do not meddle in other people's family Affairs. Do not try to discuss other people's secrets, but if you they trusted, consider it as a very valuable sign and never give your knowledge to a third party.

*Although travel contribute to the development of the mind and Outlook of a gentleman, still not worth it in any case, insert the phrase: "when I was in Paris...""in Italy do not wear..."and so on.

*Avoid gossip. It and the woman looks disgusting, but for men it is absolutely despicable.

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