Lord, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, give me the courage to change the things I can change and give me wisdom to distinguish one from the other.
Prayer Oetinger Christoph Friedrich
There is a development philosophy, is the philosophy of psychological protection. The Declaration of acceptance of reality is a way of protection from vaccination pain. The vaccine itself may be painful, but making it, you protect yourself from emotional wounds and pain deep...
Working with beliefs in cognitive-behavioral approach A. Ellis is in large part the belief of customers is that they do not owe anybody, not promised, and are offended they have no one. "Why the world has taken away my son from me?" — "How do you think that your son will always be with you?" — But it's not fair?" — "And who promised you that the world is fair?" - such dialogues are reproduced from time to time, changing only its content.
Irrational beliefs are often formed already in childhood and manifest inappropriate demands on yourself, others and the world around them. At the heart of their narcissism often lie or a complex of grandeur. Ellis (Ellis and Harper, 1979) describes these beliefs are the requirements in the form of three main "Needs": "I must: to succeed in business, get the approval of others, etc.), You must: (well treat me, love me, etc.)", "the World must: (give me quickly and easily what I want to be fair to me, etc.)
It is known that to carry out similar activities with irrational beliefs in a situation when life has hit, when the soul is already sick — a bit belatedly. More efficient and less painful such work to be done proactively and comprehensively, not for each specific reason, and in all situations of this circle in General. The Declaration of acceptance of reality and have a list of counter-beliefs that any healthy person should consider in advance to in case of vital strikes to be prepared.
Wrong to think that the Declaration, as protection from emotional wounds and pain, we need only weak people. Famous athletes, Olympic Champions, people who know how to take a punch, but they are in another similar work was necessary. Weak people hurt by weak shock, but even strong people get strikes with such force that additional remedies be useful.
When the defense took place, when your soul is safe, we move to another situation where the protection of the stay is already wrong: it's time to go forward, to look for opportunities to become strong, to make the world nicer and kinder. So
The Declaration of acceptance of realroster not fair and never took the obligation to be fair. How worthy would I live, at any moment I could lose everything dear to me. The world, it is about me personally he doesn't care. Yes, but I care about the world can. If I'm just in my environment justice will appear, and I will tend to become more every day.
The world isn't kind and never promised me happiness. How much would I have earned, at any moment life can I take it. Yes, but I can give the world beauty, and this is — happiness!
I know I make mistakes and pay for them the people I love. I'm not perfect and never have time to become fully. I know this is normal. While I am imperfect and weak, I'm not strong enough to make a disaster, and when I'm stronger and smarter I will become more useful to the creature.
People, including close to me, live as they do, not as I want from them. What I want from them, if they were brought up didn't I?
I know that people are often selfish, aggressive, rude, lazy, dishonest, ungrateful and stupid, and I choose to take it for granted; choosing to take people and their actions; accept as naturally as I take the winter and cold, spring and mud. That is what is happening something is happening, and when everything goes bad, there is only good.
I agree that loved ones can live without a head, to distort his life, including murder fatally and do irreparable stupidity: I can't live their life, can't always sew another man his head. The world will survive without my family — so I can live.
I will treat with understanding to the fact that everyone, including those close to me, maybe I lie or break my word, could harm me, including deliberately — he's just a man with weaknesses, follies and sometimes a desire for revenge. It's the little things, it's not scary. If I care about human decency, I'm going to educate ourselves. I will make myself a decent person, alive and developing.
I cut out the internal lexicon, the word "betrayal". I accept the fact that people are changing views, plans, and they do not always consider it necessary to take care of me. The one who will leave me in the lurch, is my man looking at it all differently than I do. I can always find other people who will be with me.
Those who loves and supports me, I do it just because I need them — or because of associative reflexes of the brain, these connections are still good. There is no love, but I can create it. I can be the right people to bring into the world at least a little good.
From my experiences and disorders the world others will not, he doesn't care about me. The world is indifferent to me. If I die, the world will not notice. So I won't upset you, I need the discipline and the energy to do much in this world. I'll be happy: it is easier to act!
I will never complain, I'm going to teach myself and make a wonderful life — step by step. If I develop a good relationship, I will move the world in good side one step. If I have someone to bring, the world will be more decent and educated people. I undertake to raise healthy and smart kids who will consider themselves as obliged to take care of people, to raise healthy and smart children, who will also be wanting to raise healthy and smart children.
I will be strong to do in this world anymore. The world is my workshop, and no matter what I do, the amount of good in the world should grow. I get a lot.
source:psychologos.ru
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