I am deeply convinced that all the global problems of any kind of humanity are taken out of deprivation and disorders of attachment in early childhood. We need to love our children and give them a life-long sense of strong ties and strong support. Only if they want to live in clean and tidy when they adults. Will respect yourself so that you will not be able to throw the wrapper is not in the box. If they have a sense of inner well-being, they will smile at the sellers in the store, they never come to mind to abandon their children or old parents to throw a dog on the street. They will have a psychological surplus to think about the greater good, not only of his own.
When a person had a happy happy childhood, he has all the chances to live a happy prosperous life. Let's, please, struggling to love our children so they have created another country. Better than the one we now have. Love them, no matter how you're pinned life, love, no matter what. There is nothing more important, really.
The word "deprivation" I learned from the documentary film Olga Sanaevoj "Bluff, or happy New Year" on how to break the orphanage children lack at least one permanent adult to whom the child could become attached. I'm not going to repeat, nothing can be more informative and stronger on impact than the film itself, let me just say that for mental, physical and mental health of the child there is nothing more important than an adult who is responsible for it and which the child can feel an emotional attachment. Disorders of attachment lead to so many unfortunate consequences that article and will not be listed, especially what it has done to me many people spreading this theory of Newfield, such as Olga Pisarik and Lyudmila Petranovskaya, whose articles I highly recommend reading not only parents, but also anyone who wants to understand the reasons of certain of their psychological problems.
A fundamental condition for the ability to feel happy, appropriate, good and valuable in adult life is a complete and absolute acceptance of the child by parents or persons who replace them. This means that the child knows that his parents love him does not depend on anything and nothing can break it. Every time we demonstrate to the child that it was bad for us, when he brought a deuce from school, we not only undermine this important basic confidence, but also exacerbated the situation, because, according to Neufeld — founder of attachment theory, the child first becomes saturated, the need for affection, and only then — in development. I mean, literally: if your child cannot adapt to school, do not want to learn, lies that made lessons — it means he lacks confidence that he was loved. This means that, unfortunately, he did not have sufficient periods of symbiotic fusion with the mother in infancy, or something to break it. This does not mean that this child can easily throw it in the trash and make a new — fortunately, this can be corrected. The younger the child, the easier it is to patch holes in his confidence in unconditional parental love, but even if the child is already quite big — everything is possible, just need more effort. About how to do this technically, read here
Just as flung children run screaming and spanking, just to get attention, politicians start wars hoping to feel a sense of omnipotence, which they lacked in childhood, because this feeling is only for those who feel they are completely under parental protection and is confident in its steadfastness. In an effort to sense of security officials stuffed their pockets with money that does not belong to them. Without experiencing the love and naturally following from it self-respect, people suffer all this and more, they find themselves in the position of powerless slaves.
What kind of fight against corruption can be discussed in a country where almost everyone does not pay for itself in the tram at the first opportunity and thinks it's okay to take off work at least clips? Household kleptomania as a national trait, too, is a consequence of the deprivation.
Now, on the verge of economic crisis and habits to ensure that vulnerable segments of the population are below the poverty line, serious improvements seem almost impossible. But we live in a resource rich country. Should deprive officials of the opportunity to corrupt the allocation of public budgets, involved in the planning of talented professionals and make all movement public money is extremely transparent, economic growth will not be forthcoming. Despite the fact that children in conditions of deprivation very quickly lose IQ points, we still have a huge amount of intelligent and even brilliant people who could deploy crisis trend — but this is possible only if the freedom of speech and fair elections. If people had access to truthful information, the percentage of those voting, shall we say, strange, would be much lower. Even smart and intelligent people now become victims of well-crafted propaganda.
In recent years many sensible people raised a collective panic is the feeling that everything is going to hell and will be no better. But let us remember the sensational in social networks "the theory of broken Windows"
Quote from Wikipedia: "According to this theory, if someone broke the glass in the house and no one put a new, soon no whole window in this house will not remain, and then start looting. In other words, clear signs of confusion and non-compliance by the people's ethics provoke others also forget about the rules. As a result of a chain reaction "decent" urban area can quickly turn into a cesspool where people are scared to go outside".
Pattern also operates in the reverse direction: the closer we get to the details around you, the better we will try to do all we can personally determine, the more chances to shake the flywheel in the opposite direction.
"The hundredth monkey effect — the phenomenon that describes the instantaneous propagation of learned behavior to the entire population, when reaching a critical number of individuals with this skill. Generally it means paranormal the rapid spread of ideas or abilities for the entire population, from the group that heard about a new idea or has a new ability".
I think the main idea is to spread the paranormal, is the idea of unconditional love for their children. It affects not only the children that will become the basis for our near future, it is also healing effect on adults who exhibit this kind of love and care — they also feel much better. Caring and loving behavior is the best type of psychotherapy and personal growth.
If you have any of your children take care of others. You can always find ways. To snatch the child from the orphanage grinder or just to enjoy a weekend neighbor's children or nephews something everyone can do, depending on the amount of psychological excess, which has. And even if you think you have it all there — the key word is "seems". It is necessary to begin — and it will appear like the appetite comes during eating. Because the human brain rewards us for altruistic behavior, it's a biological fact. If you think that your life is stalled, start... to do something for others. You will find that it is easier and more fun than it might seem.
Even if around is a nightmare, it is always possible to remain caring adult for children nearby — as did the character of the wonderful film "Life is beautiful" which I recommend to all parents.
I believe that love is what we all need now more than anything else.
P. S. And remember, just changing your mind — together we change the world! ©