Forgiveness or revenge, how to heal trauma

Some survivors of trauma who repels revenge fantasy, trying to completely skip the indignation by fantasy sorry. This fantasy is an attempt to feel its power and control.


The survivor imagines that he can be above the rage and what could erase the effects of the injury by willful and oppositional in essence the act of love. But injuries are impossible to get rid of, nor hatred, nor love. Like revenge, the fantasy of forgiveness often becomes a cruel torture, because it is simply inaccessible to most people. Folk wisdom recognizes forgiveness as a divine act. But divine forgiveness, in most religious systems is not unconditional. You cannot truly forgive until tortfeasor apologized and forgiven through repentance, deep regret and an attempt to rebuild. Sincere repentance tortfeasor is a rare miracle. But the survivors do not have to wait for this. Her recovery depends on the emergence of restorative love in her own life and does not require that this love is extended to cause her harm. When the survivors manage to go through the process of grief of a lost in the trauma, she may be surprised at how uninteresting becomes inflicted harm and as far as she was indifferent to his fate. She may even feel sorrow and compassion for him, but dismissed the feeling is not the same as blind forgiveness. published

P. S. And remember, just changing your mind — together we change the world! ©

 

Source: psy-practice.com/publications/travmy/proshchenie-ili-mest-kak-izlechit-travmu/?